Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Get back to you when I do. . .which, probably will be, I don't know- Never.
Author's Note: Hey. I wanted to update sooner, especially with the sort of cliffhanger at the end of chapter ten, leaving some wondering what exactly was going to happen. But, there's been some family matters going on for the past few weeks and I've hardly been home enough to get to my laptop and type anything up. So sorry!
Okay. Well. I'm lieing awake in bed thinking. Just got back from the ball.
And, I've decided, to just, you know, sort of, ignore Lily. Avoid her, I guess. Maybe, she'll just, you know, forget about it. And then, I'll forget about it. And then, the whole stupid bet will just be forgotten about forever.
The thing is, no matter if Lily forgets about the bet or not, I don't think she'll forget to not forgive me. Yeah, that's kind of a bad thing about ignoring her, because, if I do (ignore her), then I can't apologize to her and ask her to forgive me. So, she's going hate me forever.
So. Here's some possible outcomes of this mess so far:
1) Lily can hate me forever.
2) Lily can despise me forever.
3) Lily can marry that obnoxious, git Ravendork and hate me forever.
4) Lily can marry that obnoxious, git Ravendork, hate me forever, and despise me forever.
There are many more outcomes as of right now, but things are just getting more and more depressing as the list gets longer. Now, do you see that there's really no way I'm getting out of this mess without Lily hating or despising me.
Why, might you ask, am I still ranting about the evil, incompetent, berk Ravendrew?
He ruined the bet.
But, let's continue onwards, and forget about the unimportant people right now.
Anyways, about me again.
So. Yeah. There's my solution. Ignore your problems, they'll most likely just go away at some point. Hopefully. Maybe. Yes. They'll just float away. They'll float far away. Very far away. So far that they'll never, ever come back. Hopefully. Maybe.
Okay. So far, so good. I haven't seen Lily at all. It's breakfast and we're eating. "We're" meaning, me and the rest of the Marauders.
"So, James." Sirius started, stuffing his mouth with a bagel. "Lily heard."
Thanks, Sirius. Bring that up. That just makes my morning. Wonderful.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Lily heard what?" Remus asked warily as he spread jelly over a biscuit.
I turned to Peter as he ate his scrambled eggs,"Hey, Peter, where'd you get the eggs?" Okay, so I was ignoring Remus. So what?
Remus, somehow, can make anyone feel very guilty and can also be pretty persuasive sometimes. If I tell Remus about the whole Lily-Mess, he's going to make me feel real guilty (as though I don't already) and then persuade me to apologize to her, totally messing up my plan of ignoring her.
Peter jabbed his fork to a plate at his left, still chewing.
"Right. Pass it over." I said. Peter passed it over and I started piling scrambled eggs onto my plate, fully concentrating on the eggs. Don't look at Remus. Don't talk to Remus. Don't-
-listen to Remus. Don't look at Remus. Don't talk to Remus. Don't listen to Remus-
Don't look at Remus. Don't talk to Remus. Don't listen-
"James, I know you hear me."
-to Remus. Don't look at Remus. Don't talk to Remus. Don't listen to Remus. Don't look at Remus.
"Is that your owl with the newest broomstick available?"
Don't talk to Remus. Don't listen to Remus- "Where?" I asked, searching the ceiling for my owl.
"Oh, so sorry. My mistake." Remus said taking a bite of his biscuit. "I must have mistaken your owl for someone else's."
"Yeah. I suppose so." Yeah. Right. You. Liar.
"What did Lily hear?" He continued onward casually.
"Er, that the ball went great-"
"She heard about the bet." Sirius said, unrolling the Daily Prophet an owl had just dropped in front of him.
"Sirius, you great oaf!" I said, kicking him under the table.
"The bet? She heard about the bet?" Remus asked with concern. "Well. That isn't good. . .How did she take it?"
"Er, well, she didn't cry. Which is good." I started.
"And. . .she said to just, you know, forget about it."
"You liar." Shouldn't be talking Mr. Tell-Me-My-Owl-Was-Bringing-In-The-Newest-Broomstick-Available-Even-Though-It-So-Wasn't.
I had to protest now. Lily did say to just forget it last night. "She did!"
"I doubt Lily actually meant to just forget about it, James. You need to go and apologize." Thanks, mum.
"I tried last night to apologize. And, besides, Lily asked me to just forget it, so I'm going just, you know, respect her wishes and just forget about it." It made perfect sense.
"James, that really low, you know."
"What? I took a try at apologizing and I'm respecting her wishes. How is that low?" I asked stabbing at my scrambled eggs.
"Hey, James, you're getting scrambled eggs all over the place." Peter said, picking some off his shoulder.
"Sorry," I muttered. "Remus, relax. I know exactly what I'm doing. Just let me handle this."
"What exactly are you doing again, James? Because, from what I can see, you're not doing anything."
"I'm avoiding Lily. To respect her wishes."
"Oh, she asked you to avoid her too?" Sarcastic.
"No. But, to, you know, forget about everything like she told me to, I'm trying to avoid her, to forget about it, you know?"
"Right. So. You're going to just leave things as they are by ignoring Lily, basically, without apologizing. To "respect her wishes". Right. You really have interesting ways of making people feel better, James."
"It's your bet earnings." I said bitterly as Sirius stared at the stuff I'd dropped on his bed.
He stared at the stuff some more. What? Did I get something he didn't want. The ungrateful git. He'd better take what he gets. After a while, Sirius pushed everything away. "I'm not taking this stuff, James."
I gave an exasperated sigh,"What's wrong? Did I get the wrong kind of chocolates? I'm not taking anything back, Sirius. I'm already in a big mess because of that stupid bet, I'm not going to go and change all this stuff just because you can be a picky git."
"Thanks, James, glad to know you think so highly of me." He started dryly,"Actually, I'm not taking the stuff because I'm a "picky git", but because I know that this bet's got you all messed up, so I thought I'd be nice."
He's telling me after I spent fifty galleons on a bunch of chocolate and what not? I don't think so.
"And you're telling me this now?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you yesterday. So sorry."
Yes, I'm sure.
"You know," I said, sitting down on my bed,"This is pretty lousy, Sirius."
"Hey, I said I was sorry! People can forget things once and a while, geesh-"
"No, not about the stupid bet earnings. I don't care what you do with them. This whole bet is lousy. And not just because I lost." I added.
And it was. The bet, I mean. Being lousy, I also mean.
I'd gone from walking freely around the school, totally relaxed, to some anxious, jump at the sight of anything that looked female and had red hair, bloke. And, come on. I'm not someone who jumps at the sight of a girl. Unless it's to, you know, jump over to the girl- Of course, I don't actually jump at all when I see girls, it was just a figure of speech.
Anyways, other than the fact that I can't walk around Hogswarts anymore without looking around the corner to make sure Lily Evans isn't hanging around, I've done fairly well with ignoring her. And she's done fairly well in the doing the same it seems.
Actually, she's done rather too good of a job, if you ask me. She asked as if I don't exist. . .well, I suppose that's what ignoring means too, but still. It's like I'm not there at all. As if nothing happened. As though I did not just hang around her just to try and ask her out for a date because of a bet.
I mean, she's done such a good job, I'm beganing to wonder if she really did just forget about the bet and, not to mention- me.
"James, I decided to say that what you did to Lily Evans was really low for you."
Wait a second. . .did I miss something?
"I never expected you, of all the people, to stoop so low as to hang around a girl for a bet."
Is the world ending?
"Even though I never really, well, liked Lily Evans much, she's a geniunely nice person and she didn't deserve what you did to her."
I think it is. The world, I mean. Ending, I also mean.
"We'll be graduating in a less than a year; I think you should grow up. Stop playing around with people, girls in particular. They have hearts too, you know."
My God. This is unbelievable.
"I know I'm not all that nice to Lily, but really. What you did was totally something a Slytherin would do."
What the-? Bloody Hell! Sarah just slapped me! Sarah just slapped me! Sarah just slapped me! Sarah just slapped me!
"Sarah's right, you know."
"She really is."
Blimey! The Linda twins just slapped me too (well, they do do everything Sarah does, unfortunately in this case)!
"Wait, wait." I started painfully, rubbing my cheeks (they got both),"How'd you find out about that?"
Sarah sniffed. "We just did." And, with that, Sarah and her twins walked off, heads held high.
Oh. My. Gillywigs.
I was just slapped (three times) and told off (three times), by Sarah and the Linda twins. Girls can be quite dangerous when they band together and gang up on someone. They probably even waited until I was alone without any friends.
That was bloody scary.
How'd they figure out about the bet anyways? Is Lily secretly, like, some sort of secret best friend of Sarah and the Linda twins in their dorm? And, at night, they secretly sit around in their nickers (nice sight, I'm sure) and giggle and gossip and weep over what happens to them? Pfft. Please. I don't think that Lily would do that. I just can't imagine that happening. . .but, who knows. . .Sarah and the Linda twins just slapped and told me off, so, just about anything could happen now, I guess.
Maybe they noticed how Lily and me have been ignoring each other. But, they couldn't have concluded that that was because of the bet, could they? They aren't that smart. I know they aren't.
Okay, she's really trying to make me go crazy with unnerve-ness, now. I really am beginning to think Lily's totally (and not just faking it really well) forgotten about me. James Potter. This isn't right. If anyone's just suppose to easily forget about someone, it's me forgetting about Lily Evans. I mean, I'm right, right? It's just, weird the other way around.
Of course, I'm not saying my life hasn't been weird lately. I got slapped and told off by Sarah and the Linda twins (who are, by the way, ignoring me also. Except, they're doing a really crappy job of it (they sat with me at lunch).), so anything could happen now a days.
Lily's respecting her own wishes of forgetting about "it" better than I am. I've done a fairly good job though these past six days, if I don't say so myself. I've only said "Hi" and "Bye" at our, now extremely, extremely quiet patrols. And believe me, I thought Lily was quiet when we were friends, but now, blimey, she's just completely mute (except for saying "Hello" to me when I said "Hi", she just nodded when I said "Bye" to her).
I really need to stop thinking about her. Really. This is getting so weird. My life, I mean.
So. . .yeah. I talked to Lily today. I was being quite stupid when it happened.
Okay, so here I was, sitting at my desk like a good lad does twenty minutes before class starts (I was trying to finish an essay that was due when class started. Hey, I was being good. I just. . .you know, didn't have time to do the essay outside of class. . .), when Lily walks in.
It was quite normal for me or anyone really to see her do this. I mean, hardly anyone comes to class twenty minutes early unless they need to finish an essay or whatever. Lily is not "anyone" though, in a lot of ways. She always comes to class early. And she never has to scribble out a essay due when class starts.
Anyways. She walked in, okay? And I glanced at her with the corner of my eye as she walked by me (totally pretending I wasn't there, or maybe I just really wasn't there to her. . .) before I duck my head down and pretend to be totally absorbed in finishing my essay (which wasn't going to get finished, even if I was totally absorbed in it; there wasn't enough time to finish it, anyways).
Well, the seconds dragged on. And on. And on. I swear each second lasted five minutes, even if that's impossible, but, whatever. Lily had gotten out a book and was reading it. Actually, reading it too. She wasn't doing any of that Pretending-To-Read-Just-To-Get-James-To-Think-I-Don't-Notice-Him stuff.
The silence was really getting bad. Really. Except for my quill scratching (I swear it going to make me go deaf; it was that loud. . .or maybe I was just that aware of the silence) against my essay, it was completely silent. Me and Lily. Lily and me. We were the only people in the classroom.
Then It happened.
I said-get this- "Hey, Lily."
So cool. And, of course, I sounded like a complete idiot, just as I always do around Lily.
I personally think the silence just got to be too much for me. I mean, I've never been a quiet person. Someone, at some time, has to talk, in my opinion.
Okay, and get this- get this. She didn't say anything. Lily just turned slightly in her seat and nodded before turning back to her book.
That's right. She nodded. It was so weird. And, you know what really got me? It was the fact that she didn't give me a nasty glare or give me one of those blank, emotionless ones either. It wasn't a friendly nod either, though. She gave me a normal, "hey" nod.
That just about made me go insane. I mean, she's suppose to be mad at me. She's suppose to be screaming and yelling and, God forbid, crying (not that I want her to cry or anything). Instead, she was acting as if I didn't exist and when she wasn't, Lily acted as if nothing happened.
Author's Note: Not much progress is being made for James, is there? LoL. Unless being driven insane by the unnerve-ness of Lily forgetting all about him. Gasp! Lily Evans, forgetting all about James Potter? What is this world coming to? Arrogant much, James?
I have to give Sarah a big "You go, girl!" in this note. Girl power! LoL. We finally know that Sarah isn't a complete bimbo with no feelings what's so ever.
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