Chapter 1 : My Name is Jane
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Prologue: My Name Is Jane
Written by: JERICHO
Disclaimer: The only characters I own are the OCs. I am in NO way affiliated with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury Publishing, or Warner Bros. Nor do I own this disclaimer; I stole it from the bottom of your screen.
December 15, 1976
My name is Jane Bridget Fraser, and I have dove in way over my head. However, before I go any further in explaining, I need to clarify one thing. Contrary to what conclusions you will probably draw up after having read this, I have NOT lost my mind. Rather, I believe I might have misplaced it.
You see, I have just agreed to one of the stupidest girls-nights bets that I have ever agreed to. Lily and Kathryn are SO going to pay for this. Of course, it I were to approach this situation rationally, it would be easy for me to see that it was my own massively massive ego that got me into this predicament; however, I have not chosen the high road. I have chosen the lowest possible road there is, and I have decided to stay mad at the two of them until this all works itself out.
I apologize. I must be confusing you. I suppose for any of that to have made any sense what so ever you would probably have to know what the stupidest girls-night bet that I agreed to is. Well, here goes.
So, as previously stated, my name is Jane, and I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Seventh year, actually. Yes, thank you, I am quite proud of myself. I am quite surprised I even made it to seventh year, to be honest. I am not exactly the smartest person ... but that's a different topic. Some other time.
Alright, to get back on topic. There's this group of guys, they call themselves the marauders, and they're quite infamous. Pranksters extraordinaire. Everyone knows who they are. And everyone knows who I am. And this is where my trouble begins.
I'll be the first one to admit that I'm [a tad bit] egocentric. Possibly vain, conceited, think the entire world revolves around me ... yada yada. I know all this. This is who I am. People accept it. Remus Lupin, the least popular of the marauders, however, doesn't accept it. In fact, I'm pretty sure he almost hates me. Which I didn't know until this evening. And now that I know I am determined to change it.
This is where the bet falls in. Lily, Kathryn and myself were talking about, what else? Myself! And Lily happened to bring up the fact that she overheard Remus telling Sirius [who I totally snogged today being the statue of the one-eyed witch!], that he thought I was an egocentric git.
I know! HARSH!
So, of course, against my will, my mouth opens and out comes, "I can easily change that!"
"Janie, I'm pretty sure he's set in his opinion. He hasn't liked you since," Kathryn paused, bitting her lower lip in thought. "Well, actually sweetheart, I don't think he's ever liked you."
"Well why shouldn't he? Everyone else does!"
Lily and Kathryn glanced at each other before continuing, trying to sidetrack me.
"So anyway, today, James and I -
"Lily! Focus! We're talking about me!"
"Well what to you propose then?" said Lily, her temper flaring.
"I bet you all a shopping spree at ... Honeydukes ... that I can make Remus fall in love with me before the end of the year." I then proceeded to nod, absolutely convinced that I could accomplish this.
"Alright, then!" (Kathryn has a rather competative side, I might add) "Shake on it!"
And so we shook on it. And here I am.
December 16, 1976
So, I woke up this morning and meandered down into the common room in my fuzzy pink bunny slippers, looking totally hot, I might add, in my slinky silk, matching pink nighty, only to see that the entire common room was empty with the exception of HIM. Naturally, I pretended he wasnít there and instead walked over to the notice board. I rummaged through to find the very piece of yellow-dyed parchment that I was looking for - the Hogsmeade dates.
What better way to ask out a guy who you donít even want to go out with? Hogsmeade is perfect! Thereíre so many distractions you donít even have to have a real conversation. Hogsmeade is perfect!
I was so totally prepared for this. I had read Lilyís muggle magazines the night before and knew exactly how I was to flip my hair when I turned around to get maximum goggle-eyed attention from him. I had also borrowed Lily's mascara, and with the help of some fake eyelashes and applying the mascara right at the root, I had the flirtiest, most gorgeous guy-getting eyelashes that I had ever seen.
In my own honest opinion though, I didnít need the hair flip or the guy-getting eyelashes. I am completely irresistible on my own, but a little added security never hurt anyone. Now, however, I know that whoever originally said or thought that, was a total stupid liar.
I turned around - hair fliping, eyelashes batting - only to see him sitting there, with a superior, AMUSED grin on his face! He thought I was funny! Then, the nerve of him, he shut his book, got up, and walked back up the stairs! SNORTING WITH LAUGHTER!
Oh, this means war, Remus Lupin Ö this means war!
Jane awoke on the morning of the seventeenth with renewed optimism. There would be no need for stupid hair flips and guy-getting eyelashes with this attempt. No, this time Jane was going to take advantage of her one unsatisfactory characteristic. It was the first time ever that Jane had a purpose for her lack of intelligence.
She threw back the hangings on her four-poster bed and slipped her feet into her bunny slippers. Her hair, as always, slipped out of her ponytail and fell gracefully about her shoulders as she stretched her arms languriously out into space, and then pulled them back about herself. Damit, it's cold.
Then, with all the excitment of a third-year on her first Hogsmeade day, Jane bounded across the dormitory and jumped onto Lily's bed. From underneath the conforters, an annoyed groan of 'I'm so going to kill whoever you are' chorused through the early morning air. A few more bounds, and a comforter theif later, and Lily was sitting up in bed, her violent red hair in tangles around her face.
'What the bloody hell do you want, Janie?'
Lily's brows creased inwards and her eyes narrowed. 'You woke me up at,' she glanced over at the clock on her bedside table and her eyes narrowed further. 'You woke me up at seven-o-clock on a Saturday, to tell me that today is Hogsmeade?'
Jane nodded vigourously. 'C'mon, get up. You're coming with me to breakfast. Get up!'
'Janie, I don't eat breakfast.' Nevertheless, Lily threw her legs over the side of her bed and walked with Jane down the dormitory stairs.
'So why exactly are you so excited about Hogsmeade? You've been going for the past four years. Come to think of it, what exactly are you doing up at seven-o-clock? Don't you need your beauty rest or something?' teased Lily, sitting down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.
'For your information, I went to bed early. Besides,' Jane paused as she took a sip of her orange juice. 'I could stay up all night and still look fabulous. I drink water and work out, you know.'
Lily shook her head, took a gulp of her coffee, then: 'Well damnit, Janie ... if only the rest of us drank water, too!'
'What's this about water?'
Kathryn sat down adjacent to Jane and smiled broadly as her plate filled with food. She was a healthy size, and an athletic girl, and Jane and Lily absolutely adored her. Even in spite of her competative streak. Though, now that I think about it, she could use some highlights and a serious trim...just one wave of a wand... But Kathryn seemed to read Jane's mind, because she replyed with her very best 'Don't even think about it' look, before delving into her pancakes and syrup.
'Janie was just informing me of the secret to her hotness.' Lily smirked.
The jibe, however, flew right over Jane's head. 'It's true though, Lily. I mean, if you just drank a few extra goblets of water a day, your complextion would clear right up! You should give it some serious consideration, hun, your blemishes clash with your hair colour.'
Sirius had come down to breakfast just in time to overhear this last statement, and he fell to the bench laughing, holding his sides. 'Oh,' he weezed. 'That's - why - I - love - you - so - much.' He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, grinning. 'You're just so honest with people, Janie.'
Jane smirked. 'It's good to be honest with people. By the way, your kissing? Much better than that last time I caught you behind the one-eyed witch. Impressive. Have you been practicing?'
'Don't you know it! Oh, right, and Lils? James said he'd meet you at the gate, he left early this morning with Peter to get to Zonko's before the rush.' He winked as Lily sighed, exasperated, and then he joined Kathryn in devouring the food on his breakfast plate.
'Right, anyway,' said Lily, turning back to Jane. 'You were about to tell me what you're doing up this early.'
Jane bounced on the bench and leaned forward, hands clapping in excitment. 'Right, right. So here goes ... I have a plan.' Jane drew out this last word with extreme signifigance, and Lily leaned forward, waiting. However, nothing. Lily rolled her eyes.
'Do you now. You know, I'm really glad that you got me up out of bed so early. I don't know what I would have done with myself if I had missed that announcement. Truly, I'd be emotionally ruined.'
Jane smiled coyly. 'A plan to get Remus!'
Sirius snorted into his foot. 'What d'ya want ol' Moony for?'
'To make him fall in love with her, of course.' said Kathryn, wiping her hands on her pajama's.
Sirius screeched with laughter, but stopped aburptly. 'You're serious?'
Jane giggled. 'Yes Sirius, I'm serious.'
'Oh, that's really clever of you Jane. No, honestly though...why?'
'That's not relevant right now. We're not talking about that. We're talking about my plan!'
'Actually, hun, we're still waiting to hear what this marvelous plan would be.'
'Right. Well, since we're all aware that my only fault seems to be that I'm not 'book smart' like the rest of you,' There was a unanimous eye-roll from everyone within earshot. 'I've decided that I'll get Remus to help me with my work! It's genious! How can he say no to a good looking stupid girl?'
'Jane -' started Lily.
'No, no Lily. Maybe she has a point. I know I've never said no to a good looking stupid girl.' said Sirius, smiling devilishly at Jane.
'Exactly!' squealed Jane.
'Janie, Remus isn't every other guy. He has morals. He doesn't just listen to the call of his -'
Kathryn coughed into her pumpkin juice. 'Lily, honestly!'
'Oh, c'mon Kat. Honestly?'
'That's hardly appropriate for the breakfast table.'
Jane and Sirius laughed, but Lily merely shook her head. 'Whatever, that's not the point. Jane I'm not sure if that'll work. He doesn't like you because you....lack intelligence. I hardly think it will be this exact trait that ultimately attracts him to you.'
'Silly Lily. It's not going to be my lack of intelligence that attracts him. I'll gain his sympathy, and the time he spends in the company of my charm and beauty will attract him to me.' Jane smacked herself playfully on the forehead. 'Really, Lils. How did you get James? Anyway,' Jane wiped her hands on a napkin beside her plate, which she had barely touched. 'I'm going upstairs to change. I'll see you all tonight. Have fun!' She added, waving as she exited the Great Hall.
An hour later Jane stood before the mirror in the seventh year girls dormitory, nodding her head in approval. Oh, this so works... She had pulled her school cardigan on over a blouse, also doning a pair of black denim pants. Madame Pince was far too book oriented to notice that Jane wasn't in full school atire. Though, when Jane got to thinking about it, it hardly mattered what she wore. For two reasons really:
1 - She looked drop dead gorgeous no matter what she was wearing and;
2 - She was far, far more attractive then any of the bookworms she was sure to encounter in the library on a Hogsmeade weekend.
Jane had made sure on her way up to her dormitory that Remus Lupin was sitting, alone, infront of the fire reading a book and on her way back down the stairs, she noticed that he had barely moved to breathe, still entranced by whatever it was that he was reading. This was her shot. She readjusted her napsack, which felt oddly foreign on her shoulders, and pranced across the rug.
He glanced up from his book momentarily and frowned. 'You're carrying books.'
'Yes, thank you, I noticed that. I'm sorry,' she added, as she watched the line between his eyebrows deepen. 'It's just, I'm really behind in, well ... all my classes actually and I need to catch up, so, I was wondering, since it doesn't appear that you're going down to Hogsmeade, if you'd help me with some of my assignments?'
Remus paused, then shut his book with a snap, still studying her. 'I'm affraid I don't understand.'
'What is there not to understand?' Jane was becomming a tad testy.
'You're carrying books. You're volutarily doing work on a Hogsmeade shopping weekend. You're asking me to help you, when there are plenty of other people who would bend over backwards and just write the assignments for you.'
'Yes, that sounds about right.'
'Why?' Remus stood, placing his book on an end table, and shoving his hands into the pocket of his slacks. 'A few more sessions behind the one-eyed witch and I'm sure Sirius would take care of all of your assignments for you.'
'Oh, you're down right clever, aren't you Remus? I'm sure Merlin is splitting his sides right now.'
He shrugged. 'I do try.'
'You know - although, I might add that my extra ciriculars are absolutely none of your business - you don't give me enough credit. I'm much smarter than you think I am. Lily often says all I need to do is apply myself. I'm asking you to help me with the application of my currently possessed knowledge, not to do my assignments for me. On top of all that, I still can't understand what I ever did to you for you to treat me so fouly!'
'Oh no, don't missunderstand me,' Remus said, smiling coyly. 'You've never done anything to me.'
Jane, now in an extremely foul mood, dropped her napsack to the ground violently and crossed her arms. 'Then I'm confused.'
'I'm sure I'm far more confused then you are, Jane.' Jane raised an eyebrow. 'Tell me why you're suddenly so interested in me.' said Remus.
'I need help with school, and you're smart, and --
'Tell me the truth, and maybe I'll concider helping you.'
It's a partial truth! That counts!
'No? Alright then.' Remus stooped to pick his book up from the end table, then walked across the common room and through the portrait hole.
Jane's mouth fell open. This didn't happen - actually, it had never happened. If Jane said hello, guys threw themselves at her. She had just stooped low enough to ask Remus Lupin for help, and not only had he refused but he had called her a liar, and a manipulator.
Jane picked up her napsack and stomped back up the dormitory stairs. This doesn't make any sense! I wore my good butt pants! However, despite the minor setback, she already knew what she had to do. Commense "Step Two".
A/N: So there's the first chapter! This was just something that popped into my head one night, after a party I attended. Jane is based on a person I met that night. I'm not sure if I'll continue this much past the two chapters I've already written - it was just something I needed to get out onto paper.
However, if you think I should continue, let me know! It's actually quite a fun piece to work on. If I don't get many reviews though, I won't bother.
Thanks for reading :)
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