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Forced to Hide by wild4harryp01231
Chapter 1 : Wear a Mask- Fool the W.o.r.l.d.
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 54


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Forced to Hide

Author’s Note: I do not own the wonderful Hermione Granger or the world of Harry Potter, all work of Jo Rowling. I also do not own the song Reflection featured in Disney’s Mulan. Also, this takes place BEFORE Hermione becomes so sociable. The fic takes place around second year.However, I do own this plot, so be warned...I er...will send my invisible attorneys on you if you plagiarize. Yeah...that’s it...

This is dedicated to all the children who go through stuff like this everyday. That they'll have strength.


Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Everyday
It’s as if I play a part


Hermione Granger walked down the hallways of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her bushy carmael-colored hair hung behind her and her dark, chololate brown eyes gazed at each person desperatly, as if she wished deeply that she could be them….

Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart


Everyone saw Hermione Granger as a nerd or freak, but she really was not. She studied, got good grades, tried not to interact with others, tried not to care. But she was not very good at it masking her real self, what she wanted to be, what she was before.

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?


When Hermione got back to the Gryffindor common room, she dashed up to her dormitory. She was afraid. She had always been afraid. Ever since she'd been a little girl, she was afraid. Everyone seemed to hate her, for a reason completey unknown to her. What had she ever done to them? No one seemed to know who she really was. And, to make it worse, she wasn't even sure that she wanted them to know.

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world what’s inside my heart
And love me for who I am


She was trying to get good grades, keep up, do well, excel, to cover up her real feelings. She didn’t want anyone to know the truth about her past. Even she wanted to forget it.

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?


“Get your butt back here, you little bitch!!!!!”
“Daddy, please leave me alone!”
“No, Hermione! You will NEVER amount to anything! You’re worthless! You’re stupid! You look like a beaver! You will NEVER amount to ANYTHING!”

Hermione was always haunted by the drunken ravings of her father in her dreams. Even though he never acted in that fashion when he was sober, she always remembered him when he was not. These rants made Hermione want so badly to excel, not to make a fool of herself, to prove her bloody father wrong.

Must I pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?


But inside, this was not the real Hermione. A hard mask had been formed from her father's hard words. The real Hermione never had a chance to express herself anymore. She had been crushed; the real Hermione may as well not have existed any longer. The real Hermione loved to sing and dance, talk for hours on the telephone, and flirt with boys. She never did anything like this anymore, though. Especially flirt with boys. Not since the day her father had first cussed at her. Boys made Hermione frightened now. With what her father said, she was afraid that all men were like that and any boy she loved would verbally abuse her as well.

Though her father never had done so much as lay a hand on her, the words he said did worse than a dagger and a thousand bruises. The words had taken away her pride, her dignity and her whole life from her.

There’s a heart that must be free
To fly
That bursts
With a need to know
The reason why


Why did her father, the one who appeared to love her so much on the outside, who made her, hate her so much? Was it her fault that he acted this way? What had she done wrong?

These were the questions Hermione pondered every day. She knew in her heart that it was not her fault what her father did to her, but it always felt as though it was.

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel?
Must there be a secret in me
I’m forced to hide?


She refused to tell anyone about her pain, her sorrow, her grief. She didn’t want anyone to know. They wouldn’t treat her the same, especially Ron and Harry. She would be the delicate flower and they would not be friends as much as body-guards. She had always had a soft spot for Ronald, but never said anything, for fear of being hurt once again.

Harry and Ron were the only ones she interacted with at school. They had shown compassion towards her. But she was still very cautious around them, trying to make sure that she did not feel that pain once again. If she wasn't careful, they might snap like her dad had. Or she might start to care about them too much.

I won’t pretend that I’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?


When Hermione was alone, she would cry and cry. She wanted to be Hermione Granger again, not the person that she had come to be. She wanted to have herself back. That’s all she ever wanted.

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?




(Author’s Note: Please review! I have never felt this way before; I tried to challenge myself to write out of my point of reference. Is it realistic enough? Does it make sense? Do you feel for Hermione? I need advice; please help me out. Constructive criticisms welcomed with open arms, but PLEASE no flames!!!!! Also, do you think this fic would be better with Kelly Clarkson's Because of You or Behind these Hazel Eyes??? Please review and tell me if you think this would go better with the song. I will go with majority. Thank you for taking the time to read this story.)




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