A/N: I have to say this before you read, because I suspect some of you may be upset after the 'poem' and don't want to keep reading. We all know James would never do such a thing, right? Exactly. ;)
“Lily! Fourteen minutes have passed! If I have to wait for more than one more minute, you know what’ll happen…”
“Merlin, Mandy! I’ll come in a minute!”
“That’s too late, because now there are only fifty seconds left…”
Fourteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds after Lily had walked into the bathroom, she came out again, fully dressed.
“You made it!” Mandy said, sounding impressed.
“What did you expect? I can’t have my best friend locked up in Azkaban for the use of the Imperius curse, can I?” Lily’s lips twitched slightly.
Mandy just rolled her eyes. They stood there for fifteen seconds before the outburst came. “Will you open that bloody package now?!”
Lily grinned. “I just wanted to wait till you lost it.” When she saw the murderous look on Mandy’s face, she quickly added, “But I’ll open it now! Of course I will!” She sprinted to her bed.
“Here it is,” Lily said, holding up the red present. “And I’m opening it now,” she added before Mandy got the chance to hex her.
When the paper was off, a little box was revealed. Lily opened it up, and found a card. She picked it up and read it.
“Now?” Mandy said eagerly.
Angry tears filled Lily’s green eyes, but she blinked them back. “Honestly. This is the silliest and meanest thing he’s ever done.” She let go of the card, and she watched it make its way down to the floor.
“Lily?” Mandy whispered uncertainly.
“I was right; I don’t have a secret admirer, as his name was on the bottom of his beautiful poem. And he’s not much of an admirer, either; he’s a perv.”
“What do you mean, Lily?”
“Read it,” Lily said, her voice shaking. She pointed at the card which was lying on the floor. “Read it, and you’ll see what I mean!”
Mandy picked up the card, and began to read it.
Lily Evans, here’s my beautiful poem for you:
Lily, I’m obsessed.
I can’t stop thinking of you.
I keep thinking of your long legs
And then your big chest
Maybe you’re a slut,
Well, I don’t know
But I like you, no matter what
I want to snog you,
I want to shag you
Because you are a beautiful flower.
I want to hear you moan,
I want to see you in the nude.
I’m always excited when I see you
Because you make me bubble with lust.
I want you,
I want your perfect body
Because you look as good as a whore.
I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you liked it. It was really hard to write it because you deserve the best.
Mandy’s mouth was open. It seemed she had forgotten how to speak. After two minutes, she finally managed to say something again. “I don’t believe this. Oh, Lily, I can’t believe this!” She looked at the poem in disbelief and disgust.
“Oh, great! The birthday that was supposed to be amazing, has started out horrible! Why do all these things always happen to me?” Lily asked bitterly.
“I don’t know.” Mandy paused. “You know, I meant it when I told you I couldn’t believe it. I could never imagine James Potter saying that.”
“You couldn’t? Well, now you can!”
“Lily, he can be a prat sometimes, but… he adores you! I know he does, and he could never have written this!”
Lily laughed hollowly. “He’s a prat most of the time.”
Before she got the chance to say more, they heard a knock on the window.
Mandy opened. “James?”
Indeed it was James Potter. He sat on a broom outside the window. “Good morning, Miss Amanda. I just flew past on my broom, and I decided to pay you a visit. It wasn’t intended, of course.” James’s grin was replaced by a serious and anxious expression. “Mandy… is Lily in there?”
“She is… but I don’t think she’s too happy with you at the moment.”
James frowned. “Oh no. Is it because of my poem? I know I didn’t manage the rhymes perfectly, but-”
“Rhymes?” Lily asked when she appeared in the window beside Mandy. “It didn’t rhyme at all! And I’m glad it didn’t, as it probably would’ve been even more insulting!”
“Insulting? What d’you mean?” James looked puzzled. “I don’t see how words like ‘beautiful’ can be insulting!”
“No?” Lily narrowed her eyes. “Know why? It’s because ‘beautiful’ is the mildest thing in the whole poem!”
James still looked puzzled. “What? Lily, this is a little unfair. All right, you turn me down every time I ask you out, but I confessed my feelings in that poem. I tried to, anyway.”
“That was not good enough of a try!” Lily shouted. “How do you really think you should ‘confess your feelings’? By telling me that I look like a whore?”
“What? I’d never say something like that!”
“You’re right; you didn’t say it. You wrote it!” And with that, Lily curled the card into a ball and threw it down to the ground. She shut the window, grabbed Mandy, and went out of the dormitory.
James stared at the closed window, before he flew down. He looked for the poem-ball, and found it. He picked it up, uncurling it. His eyes widened when he read it.
“You’re going to regret this,” James said in a quiet, but deadly whisper.
A/N: Who's going to regret what? *smiles innocently* Review if you want to!
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