Chapter 1 : Here We Go Again
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Note: This story was written many years ago. As the author, I do not wish for you to think that my writing style is this sloppy or that I have no grasp on Mary-Sues or clichés. If I could go back and re-write this story and take out elements that some may find overdone, I would. Please plug through this if you find it somewhat interesting as I assure you that the actual writing gets better. Thanks!
Pretty & amazing chapter image by Musicbox at TDA! Thanks Jess!
What was better than a full year at a school away from home? Nothing. Not for me, anyway. With a father like mine, summer lasted only too long. I was grateful for its end.
He wasn't abusive or anything like that. He just made my life miserable without realizing it.
I was pulled away from my own little world by the hearty whistle of the scarlet train. Passengers were already starting to board. My cousin Remus and I would follow suit.
When I least expected it, Remus and I got attacked by a herd of idiots. Those idiots were also known as Remus's inner circle of friends. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew all embraced me into warm hugs, especially Sirius. I scoffed in distaste. Sirius Black had tried (to the best of his ability) to get me to like him ever since I met him on the train ride to Hogwarts in my first year.
Don't get me wrong. Having a tall, handsome-looking, and smart boy come up to me and hug me isn't a bad thing (well, tall compared to my 5'3" self). It was just the games that he played. I always felt like he was trying to win my heart just to go and play Quidditch with it. My heart was fragile. Breaking it was easy, and his stupid childish games would be like dropping my heart fifty feet above the ground.
"Erm, Sirius? You can let go of me now," I said uncomfortably, trying to squirm my way out of his grasp. He saw my struggle and slowly backed away.
"Oh... Sorry, Kris," he mumbled, earning a loud laugh from James, Remus, and Peter. Sirius glared and hit James squarely in the chest for starting such commotion.
Kris isn't just a boy name. It can be short for Kristopher, true, but not in my case. I was named Kristin Safara Lupin, but I preferred to be called Kris. My whole name, Kristin, was too... not me.
"Oww! Geez. Be careful, mate. I use my chest for breathing occassionally!" James whined, messing with his already-askew black hair by scratching his head. I simply rolled my eyes. He had usually only done that in front of a certain girl...
"Ugh, let's go find a compartment before they're all full," I suggested in annoyance. We headed into the train, leaving our trolleys with the man in front of the entry.
I didn't normally go around spending all of my time with my cousin's friends. I had my own group of friends. We met by rooming together in third year. It turned out that we were all very similar, personality-wise. The only reason for my riding to Hogwarts with Remus and his friends was because when my Mother left my Father, she made him promise that I'd stay with Remus so we wouldn't be alone. Of course, she only meant for our first year, but my Father always made me do the same thing every year. I usually ditched them, but this year, I decided that I would stay and catch up.
"Here's an empty one!" Peter shouted across the train's corridor. We all followed his voice and it led us to the empty compartment.
"Ladies first." Sirius turned to me, holding his arm out for me to go ahead of him. I rolled my eyes and kept a straight face. This would be fun.
"Oh, I see. Prongs, you heard what Padfoot said, go ahead," I said, turning to James Potter. The three other boys burst into a small session of chuckles.
"That wasn't funny," James said, pretending to be extremely offended and hurt. My eyes twinkled a yellowish green color which symbolized my amusement, as I discovered by looking into the glass of the compartment window.
You see, my eyes were what a Muggle would consider a cheap mood ring. They turned eight, maybe nine, different colors depending on which emotion shined the brightest within me. My normal eye color was always brown, but it didn't stay that way for very long.
When my eyes were a deep, dark red, it meant that I was extremely angry or in rage about something.
If my eyes were a bright, extremely breath-taking shade of sapphire (I mean not to brag, but it was quite a pretty hue), it meant that I was happy or excited about something. That would never happen if I were taking notes in History of Magic class.
One must have already gathered this, but here comes the replay. When my eyes were a yellowish green, I was amused or thought something to be funny.
Purple is a deep, passionate color -- it signified a strong emotion. Pain, in my opinion, was just that. I would be emotionally harmed (or physically), and when I was, my eyes were violet.
One could not be surprised if they heard about me having sky blue eyes. This expressed sadness over something. It always made me feel helpless.
If my eyes were hazel then I felt shy or nervous about something. For example, when my name was called just after Remus's name was called for getting sorted into Gryffindor, I had hazel eyes.
Gray is a color that makes people sad. When my eyes turned gray, it was because I was in doubt or in worry. It was even possible that it meant that I was scared about something... The only person who knew what my eye colors meant was Remus; he was the only person I ever trusted.
It didn't happen often, but when I had black eyes, it meant that I had many over-powering emotions built up inside me. It had always been my body's way of letting me know that it was okay to yell, scream, cry, or make a scene.
Those were all of my common emotions. I wasn't sure why they changed such drastic colors, and my Father never bothered explaining it to me.
"Dad," my five-year-old self inquired, "Why are your eyes always brown?"
He looked up blankly from his dinner plate in our small dining room, attempting to collect an answer in his head. "Muggle, Witch, and Wizard alike have the same eye color throughout their entire life, Kristin. I'm a Wizard. I have brown eyes. The end."
I looked down, mixing everything on my plate together mindlessly. Minutes later, my curiosity bubbled over and I continued to ask about it. "I'm a witch, too, Daddy, right? How come my eyes were brown and now they're blue?"
"You're a Witch. Eat your dinner."
And I knew from then on that I was a unique person. I didn't believe in labels, but that was probably because I always hated when people constantly labeled me. My hair really got to them. Everything was fine until my second year at Hogwarts. I dyed the ends of my hair black, also adding some streaks of black, mixing in with the dirty blonde. I wanted to make a statement; a statement that said you can be different without changing the way you are. Before I dyed my hair, I didn't stick out. I was a Plain Jane. That didn't cut it for me. So, I made a choice to change that to get my way.
I always get my way.
"So Kris, how was your summer?" James asked, shocking me. Usually he asked Sirius first, and I ended up last or left out.
"Oh, umm, the same boring rubbish. I didn't do anything special except visit Moony for a week," I said lazily after sighing. Remus smiled in my direction at the mention of his company being special. "What about yours? Anything exciting happen to you?"
"Well..." James started skeptically. "Sirius, do you want to tell her?"
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as Sirius nodded.
"Well, you see, I sort of -- kind of -- left home to live with James," Sirius managed to say in a mumble. He ran a hand through his brown hair and averted his sparkling gray eyes to the floor. His knee went up and down as his foot repeatedly tapped the compartment floor, a sign of his nerves. "It's just that I couldn't stand my Mother; she doesn't understand anything! It's so hard to have a civil conversation with the woman!"
"Black, calm down. Stop--" I leaned into Sirius and put my palms on his wobbling knees. "--doing that. Everything will turn out fine. At least you have a Mother to be uncivil with."
Sirius looked surprised at my actions of actually touching him, and he looked me in the eye. He spoke loudly and clearly as he stopped shaking temporarily. "I'm staying with James for two more summers. Then I reckon his old man is going to kick me out to find a job!" He had a look of false horror in his eyes.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." I wanted to laugh, but the fact that the conversation was actually pretty serious stopped me.
"You know, I could use a hug right about now," Sirius said suggestively, causing me to roll my eyes. Again.
"Sure, no problem. Wormtail, give Sirius a big bear hug," I said, sitting back into my seat next to Remus. Peter got up from Remus's other side, clueless.
"Er, no. I think I'm better now. Thanks, Peter." Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Peter thought I was serious -- the wanker!
Nodding, he sat back down as everyone snickered, leaving poor little Peter to look completely confused. "What? Did I miss something here? What?" repeated Peter.
"Forget it, Peter. They're only messing around with you for their own cruel entertainment," Remus snapped, heading back into the world of his book. "Oh, yes, I forgot. I have to go sit with the other Prefects. They'll be wondering where I am. I'll see you all soon." Remus got up and left us all there.
Peter shrugged and looked out the window, going into his own little world of boredom for the rest of the ride.
Sirius decided to fill Remus's old seat while I tried to get away, but he just pushed me back into my seat gently.
"Where do you think you're going, love?" he asked me. My lip curled up and James and Peter laughed at Sirius's dry attempt.
"If you call me 'love' one more time, I'll have to hex you," I said, shoving Sirius's arm off of my shoulder. It plopped down into his lap.
"Aww, come on. You know I'm irresistible, you just won't admit it yet. Kris..? Kris..?" Sirius said with a smirk. He said my name when I didn't even do anything but look straight ahead as he got closer to my face. When his lips unknowingly almost touched my cheek, I turned my head to face him after the fifth time that he voiced my name.
"What?" I said, and I pulled away with wide eyes before he could kiss me.
Sirius sat back in his seat, and I scooted over to my right, away from him more.
"Nothing," he smirked. "You smell good, what is that?" James came up to me and actually sniffed me! Peter did the same thing and Sirius chuckled. James tried sniffing my chest area, which got my blood boiling. Boys..!
"Get away! Merlin, Potter!" I said, shoving him away.
"Aww, come on, Kris. I was just messing around with you. You know that I would never get too close to your genitals--" James started. I cut him off in anger.
"James, I know you are kind of perverted, and I now see that you use the correct terms, but you really don't have to continue what you were saying. Quite frankly, I'm scared to know what that may be," I said, widening my eyes. Everybody in the compartment laughed hard. I had a smile on my face, and my eyes were still glossed over with amusement.
Several hours passed after that, and I had changed into my uniform. I didn't quite realize it until I woke up, but I slowly drifted into a peaceful slumber. As I lay sleeping, the boys were talking.
"Should I leave her laying on me or wake her up?" I asked to nobody in particular. We were almost at Hogwarts and Kristin Lupin, Remus's cousin that I liked since the moment I met her, lay on my shoulder. Her head slowly fell onto my lap.
"Won't she get mad if you wake her?" James asked, cocking an eyebrow. He ran his hand through his messy black hair, only making it more unruly.
"But if I leave her, she'll get mad, too, and possibly embarrassed!" I argued, looking down at her face.
"Fine, wake her, then," James shrugged indifferently.
I sighed. "She looks so peaceful..."
None of the other girls sent warmth through my body when they touched me. Kris Lupin did, though. I actually thought that I loved her, and it was quite possible. I had never been in love, but that just goes to show what amazing comfort she could grace me with. But none of that mattered. She clearly wasn't interested in going out with me, but that wouldn't stop me from asking her every time I saw her. It never did.
I looked down as the small form lying in my lap stirred. Kris woke up as the Hogwarts Express came to a halt.
I grew used to the movement of the train as I slept. When I felt no motion under me, I woke up. I slowly lifted my head from an amazingly comfortable pillow. It was warm and felt good to lie on. But then, I noticed I was not lying on a pillow; it was none other than Black's lap. I bolted up quickly and my cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't realize I was laying on you, I swear," I explained hurriedly. Everyone just chuckled.
"Hey, it's okay. It felt good with you all over me," Sirius smirked as I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to tell anyone that I thought his lap was a pillow. It would be too funny to them.
"Let's just go, I'm starved," I said, standing up. We all headed to the carriages and got inside. I saw my best friend come in and sit down next to me.
"Hilary! It's so good to see you!" I said, wrapping my arms around her. She hugged me back.
"It's great to see you, too! How was your summer? And where were you on the train?!" Hilary inquired rapidly. I explained my boring summer and told her where I was on the train. She turned at that moment to acknowledge Sirius and James. She giggled. Hilary was surprised that I knew them, the "most handsome gentlemen" and "most charming," and also, "most popular" guys of Gryffindor on such a "high rank," as she would put it. Some of those just really got to me.
"Hi, I'm Hilary. It's amazing to meet you!" she said, shaking Sirius's and James's hands. They took her hand, and I rolled my eyes. Hilary cared what others thought about her. She shouldn't have to.
We made it to Hogwarts' big oak doors. The second years led the way to the Great Hall. It felt nice being at Hogwarts again, away from the silence of home. We all sat down at our tables. I sat down on the right of Hilary. Guess who "couldn't find an empty seat" and just had to sit right next to me? Sirius was the correct answer.
I rolled my eyes as Sirius wrapped his arm around my waist. I looked at him as he looked at me.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Sirius asked. I sighed, knowing that he was bound to say that at least once that night.
I shoved his arm off of me gently and said, "Sirius... Only in your dreams."
He pouted as the first years were sorted and everything. We all ate and we made our way to the Gryffindor common room. I sat down in front of the fire after changing into my pajamas. I was wearing a plain black tank top and my plaid, gray and black pajama pants. When I bought the tank top the year before, it fit just fine. All of a sudden, it seemed too tight around my chest. Is it possible that I have finally hit this stage of raging hormones? I sat down on the couch and found James and Sirius sitting in the corner talking about some girl. I was all alone because Hilary turned in early.
"I'm going over to her right now," James said confidently.
"Go ahead, mate," Sirius said in encouragement as James stood up. He walked over to a pretty redheaded girl with bright, emerald green eyes, who was just reading a book on my opposite side. I knew who she was (James never gave up on her), but I never really talked to her. I knew the league she was in, and it was definitely not the same as James.
I got up and walked over to Sirius. "What's he doing?"
"Asking Lily Evans out," Sirius replied with a sigh and looked me up and down. I ignored it but rolled my eyes at James.
"He's been doing that for five years and he hasn't gotten anywhere with her. Can't that thick skull take a hint?" I asked, laughing with Sirius.
"No, but I've been doing the same thing with you," Sirius said. "I mean, come on, Kris. I know part of you wants me... Will you go out with me already??"
"Sirius, do you think that an hour plus you pulling false things from my mind is going to change the answer that I last gave you?" I stood up, fast, and walked off to bed.
He is the biggest flirt I've ever seen. He is rarely seen without a girl. Why waste my time with Sirius when I can get a real boyfriend that isn't as egotistic?
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