Chapter 1 : Seal it With a Kiss
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Everything written in first person is in Hermione’s POV and the other stuff in third person limited in Draco’s POV.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter, just this plot.
Evening came to its peak beneath the cool blue moon, shadows dancing with pleasure in the corners of the street. The window shutters were all drawn closed and not a soul was to be found. It was in this moment that I found myself lying alone on top of that cobblestone wall, my thoughts wafting around me as the cool air raced past my skin.
The sensations my body had once experienced were now a shadow of a memory in my mind. I’m hollow, alone, nothing. Days at the office, days in the field, days in any place were a waste of my time and I felt as if I’d reached the twilight of my life. The bright, happy day was gone and I was soon to succumb to the darkness of the night. And when this happened the songbirds would leave me and I’d be left with the curious owl, who would constantly hoot in my head, “who, who, who?”
And I’d have no answer. I don’t know who, and I don’t know when. All I knew was that if I didn’t find some outlet, some reason to believe there was a life worth living, I was going to fall into an empty sleep and fall into the depths of my life.
I felt the cool, burning bars of my life closing in, pushing me so close together in my space that I would burst from the pressure that was building inside me. I was trapped within the prison of my mind, with no escape, no exit, and no safety, no anything. I was alone, and I’d never break free.
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
I felt the terror of my life come sweeping in, seizing my conscious thoughts and casting me into a well of endless grief. I felt every metaphor for my life pounding into my head, taking me further into despair.
I don’t know when I started to feel this way. Maybe it was after our graduation from Hogwarts. I had spent 7 years of my life on a schedule. Summer, go to school, ace every class, enjoy life with Harry and Ron, discover some secret plot to kill Harry or take over the wizarding world, stop Voldemort from achieving his goal, go back to school and tie up loose ends, get on the train and go back home, enjoy summer, and then do it all again.
But after graduation that cycle, as bizarre as it was, disappeared. I was left on my own to start a life, to care for myself, to make myself feel whole. But in all, the reality was that I needed someone else to fill me up too. I mean, I was happy with whom I was as a person and I was complete as a whole, but I felt unbalanced. As if my own completeness was on one side of the scale and my relationship with people was on the other side. If they weren’t balanced, I would fall into chaos. I would turn into the mess you see before you now.
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Soundless echoes bounced within the empty halls of the Malfoy Manor. Nothing remained in the hollow walls of this forgotten place. Every dark artifact that had infected the rooms had been discarded, destroyed, and abandoned. But none of it was ever sold. The newest owner of the manor would not allow the infection of the Malfoy Manor to spread and infect the world. Everything was discarded of carefully and thoroughly. It was all either destroyed or locked in a guarded room in the Ministry of Magic.
Yet, the items had never been replaced. The owner of the manor could not bring himself to fill the spaces where each and every artifact had been. He couldn’t even bring himself to step foot into the rooms. They were bitter reminders of his life before he changed, of what he almost became. They were now kept under lock and key. No one was to enter them after the furniture had been covered and the shutters closed.
Because of this, the manor was now decreased in functioning size by nearly 60%, although it was no large concern to the owner. There were still 30 some functioning rooms.
It was in one of these rooms that the owner of the manor, Draco Malfoy, resided in at the moment. He was hunched over this desk, peering down at the stained mahogany wood. Thoughts of his childhood came blooming back. Memories of strolls in the garden with his mother, and sitting beside his father and watching him work at his desk. Up until Draco turned 10, his parents had been his angels, his idols, his models. His mother always smiled and his father never yelled. He remembered when his father taught him how to ride a broom and his mother taught him how to boil noodles for pasta.
Times had changed when he turned 11. He then attended Hogwarts, where he found that the world was not so perfect outside the manor and that you could not have everything you wanted. He learned that lesson particularly hard when it came to Hermione Granger.
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
His lessons from childhood were burning into his brain, his ideas about life burning up around every corner he turned. His father had taught him one thing repeatedly in his life. You are special. You are a superior. You are a pureblood. Anyone who’s not is below you. They don’t deserve your attention. Yet, here he found that there was no separation. He was forced into the mix with half-bloods and muggleborns. His only sanctuary was his house, Slytherin, which was composed of all purebloods. Most of the children he had already met because of his father.
Yet it was in this house that his mind became poisoned. He was taught about a man named Lord Voldemort, a dark wizard from before his time. His father had mentioned his name once or twice, talked about how great of a man he’d been and how it was a shame that a 1 year old child had destroyed him. But here, these people seemed to worship him. Instead of W.W.J.D. it was W.W.V.D. The answer? Torture the mud-bloods.
Mud-blood. That as another thing Draco learned. Muggleborns were the lowest of the low, the filthiest of the filthy. If you saw one, they were to be squashed. Their blood was dirty, hence the name Mud-blood. It was this one rule that Draco found himself thriving on.
He never really meant to hurt anyone. Well, maybe he did. But he never intended to hurt anyone as badly as he hurt Hermione Granger, a muggleborn in his year. She was in Gryffindor house, the rival of Slytherin. She was friends with Ron Weasley, who’s father often butted heads with Draco’s, and Harry Potter, how had vanquished Lord Voldemort when he was a baby. So it was only natural, with her blood and company, that Draco pestered her relentlessly. He just wasn’t prepared for the breakdown he would cause her.
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
It was late February in their 7th year and Granger and Draco had a particularly bad argument that day. Granger had been outstandingly perfect in class that day, answering every one of McGonagall’s questions with precise details, driving even her own house members insane. Draco noticed even Harry and Ron looked slightly put off. Hermione had beamed at the praise McGonagall poured on her, praise that Draco had never once received from a single teacher except Snape, Head of Slytherin house and Potions Master.
“What was that all about, Granger?” Malfoy asked after class with a sneer on his perfect lips. Sensing a fight, other students began to circle around Draco and the innocent Gryffindor prefect. “Are you so insecure with yourself that you had to smear us all into the dust to bring yourself up?”
At this Hermione snorted. “You’re one to talk about degrading others, Malfoy. Although, I suppose you can’t be blamed. It’s not like your parents help the situation.”
Draco felt anger rise in his stomach. How could she say all that? His parents had been nothing but helpful, nothing but hopeful for his future. He couldn’t say he could agree with his father’s doings, but he was consumed by the Dark Lord. Once you were in, there was no escape. He had tried to drag Draco into the whole conspiracy to kill Dumbledore, but only on the command of Voldemort. Luckily, Snape had saved Draco from a lifetime in Azkaban and freed him from Voldemort’s clutches. Voldemort now wanted nothing more to do with Draco. But Hermione Granger, queen of pests, felt the need to smear her disgust with him in his face every day, when all Draco really wanted right now was acceptance from everyone. He just wanted to be free again.
“Parents, Granger? You talk about ‘helpful parents’? How can you be such a hypocrite? How can you talk about my parents when your own know nothing about you? I bet they don’t know your deepest secrets. They don’t even know you as well as I do!” Draco shouted, smiling when he heard people around them whispering.
To Draco’s horror, tears began to fall from her eyes. And not just tears of humiliation, but real sad tears. Her eyes turned dull and black, hollow and nothing. She turned and ran away, fleeing the scene. It wasn’t an angry stride she had either. It was a scared, lonely, shy run that he knew that he himself had been doing his whole life.
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
He had spent his evening in the corridor that night, wandering in the sweet shadows that evening provided. It was then that he came upon a small, quivering figure behind a statue of a mermaid, dressed in a girl’s nightgown.
“Granger?” he said, immediately recognizing the sobs. Tear stained cheeks became illuminated in the glow of the moon, revealing hollow brown eyes filled with a million sad stories. He fell to his knee to get a closer look at the broken doll on the floor.
“Go away, Malfoy,” she said in a harsh whisper almost as hollow as her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, kneeling down beside her. Why did he care? This was mud-blood Granger, Mud-blood Granger!
“Why do you tease me, Malfoy?” Granger asked, her voice echoing with unspoken woe. “What did I ever do? You don’t know half of who I am, yet your words hurt me more that anyone else’s. Why?”
To this Draco had no response. “I don’t know why I tease you, Granger,” Malfoy said, his voice quiet and his tone almost ashamed. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. “This isn’t who I want to be. This isn’t who I should be. This is just the shell that my life’s left me in. I don’t want to be this way.”
Draco gasped as he felt a cool, delicate hand fall on his face. It was like a cool spring breeze on a muggy day, an angel’s voice in a stormy sea. It was like being touched for the very first time. It was far more comforting that anything else he had ever experienced.
“We’re two very broken people, Malfoy,” Granger said softly, scooting closer to him. “And we did it to each other. Maybe it’s time we started to heal each other instead.”
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
With those words, Granger slowly pressed her lips to Draco’s in a proposition of an agreement to heal one another. Draco kissed her back with an acceptance.
Before Draco knew what was happening, Granger had him on his back, pressing him into the cool stone floor of the corridor. Her cool hands were on his neck, burning cooling and calming sensations into his bloodstream. He felt immediate completeness in her arms, as well as indescribable pleasure.
Before he knew what was happening, a small moan escaped his lips. Everything seemed magnified and he was aware of several things all at once. He was aware of the fact that her breath was slightly mint flavored from her night-time brushing, but there was a faint taste of blood in there too. Her lips were slightly raw, which made him think she’d been gnawing on them. He was aware of the pressure she was putting on just the right parts of his body, driving him insane. He could feel her fingers, like delicate little spiders, trailing through his hair, sending in all different directions.
Those spiders then trailed down his neck to the hollow just below his Adams apple, where the buttons to his pajama top began. Painfully slowly, she ran her hands over every button before undoing it, kissing each bit of skin that became exposed. He felt a white fire burning below his belt as each kiss sent bolts of fire and pleasure to his head and lower body.
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
I sat on top of that cobblestone wall, memories flooding in now. I remembered our first time together. I remember the pain he had caused me previously that day, reminding me of how far I’d fallen from my family. He had found me later and we had agreed to be of help to one another, in any way possible.
I remember kissing him softly in agreement and playing with his hair before my hands fell upon those buttons. At that moment I knew that it would take a lot of healing for us to become what we could have been, but I knew a place to start. I would show him my new-found trust in his by giving him the one true thing that was mine to give—myself.
I remember to small moans that came from his mouth as I slowly unbuttoned that obnoxious top, and how he unconsciously ran his fingers through my hair as I did so. When the shirt was unbuttoned I smiled down at my unwrapped present, which was more that appealing. Just looking at that pale, hairless chest of a discarded god made me what to rip off every article of our clothing and shag him senseless.
I ran my fingers down his chest, letting my fingernails graze across his nipples and trace along his abs. The moans I heard below me were so satisfying, I almost lost it right then and there.
I stood slowly, smiling wickedly down at him. I ran my fingers down my nightgown to the hem, which was just above the knees. I teasingly pulled it up and down, watching his eyes follow the hem. I then gave up on that small bit of teasing and slowly pulled it up. His eyes followed, growing wider and hungrier with each passing bit of skin. He seemed highly pleased there were no undergarments blocking his view.
When my one and only article of clothing was removed, and bent down and straddled his waist, grinning at the bulge I felt beneath me. I bent down and kissed his lips, which eagerly took mine. His hands were immediately on my neck, pulling me as close as he could. He kissed me hungrily and I felt as if he were trying to tell me so many things in that kiss. He tried to tell me the pain he felt when I scorned him and the betrayal he felt when his own friends teased him for not killing Dumbledore when he had the chance when he had bragged about how easy it would be to kill Dumbledore if given the chance. And in return I told him everything else. The pain of being a muggle-born, the loneliness I felt and the abandoned feeling I felt everyday. And then we healed each other. We kissed away the pain and made a promise to be together forever, to shield each other from the hurts of the world.
Draco ran his tongue across my lips and I complied quickly, eager to feel his tongue in my mouth. During this, he let his hands fall to my chest, where he played softly with my nipples, coaxing them to become hard. I moaned into his mouth, pressure building in my lower body.
While Draco kept himself busy with my nipples, I began the removal of his pants; I slowly undid the button and zipper and pushed them down, eventually using my feet to push them down the rest of the way.
Before I knew what happened, I was on my back and Draco was over me, smiling wickedly. Then, I felt something press against my entrance. I put my hands on his shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. Suddenly, he was in me, but I felt him hit a resistance.
Oh no! I’d forgotten about the whole “the first time hurts” thing. But I was going to give Draco this, I was going to give him the trust he needed to change, to better himself. He needed me beside him.
“Break it,” I said softly, smiling up at him. “Please.”
Draco bent down and kissed me softly and then pulled out slightly before pushing in roughly. I felt the skin snap inside of me, breaking my innocence. I squeezed Draco’s shoulders roughly, crying out.
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Draco wasn’t prepared for the cries of pain Hermione would emit. The only small bit of reassurance Draco felt was that this was the last time he would hurt her. He would make sure of it.
He moved slowly inside of her, being gentle. He could feel small amounts of blood falling from inside of her and the whimpers below him reminded him of what a gentle creature she was now in charge of protecting.
They both reached their peaks in a matter of minutes, collapsing together in a heap of love and comfort. Whatever the world had in store for them, they’d fight it all together.
Draco couldn’t stand the memories any more. He couldn’t take the fact that he didn’t have her anymore, that he had broken every promise he had made to her and himself.
Draco jumped to his feet and grabbed the coat he had strung across his bed, and then left the room. He passed by the servants, muttering about taking a walk. Thanks to Hermione, Draco had set every magical creature his parents had enslaved free and now any servant who worked at the manor was paid his dues. The checks he wrote were bitter reminders of Hermione’s past presence in the manor.
After school, Draco had insisted that Hermione move into the manor with him. His mother had died in the final battle and his father was missing, which left Draco in sole possession of the manor. It had been rather lonely for the small amount of time he had spent alone in the manor, so Hermione’s presence had been a sweet relief from the quiet.
Draco wandered in endless circles in the neighborhood, thinking. Hermione and he had spent 3 glorious months together before her work with S.P.E.W. called her to move to the city where she could be closer to the action. Draco, unable to let go of his past, remained in the manor. Everyday he spent without her was torture. Sometimes he would come across some small possession of hers, which he would place in a small golden box. That box was now on his bedside table. In it was a small hair-scrunchy, a brown hairclip, a contact case, an old prefect badge, a picture of Harry and Ron, a picture and Hermione and Draco, and a small black velvet box. Within the box was the promise ring Draco had bought for Hermione at the end of 7th year, which she had given back to him when she moved out. The box, however, now was in the pocket in his coat. He didn’t know why he carried it around. Maybe it was because of the bitter hope he carried in his heart. The hope that, somehow, Hermione would forgive him.
He eventually came to the small cobblestone wall that ran along the side of the sidewalk. He followed it, noticing how abandoned the street was. Although, it wasn’t as abandoned as he thought it was. On top of the wall was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
No. It couldn’t be! That voice was supposed to be locked up in that manor, selfish and alone. I turned over, nearly falling off the wall. I sat up to find my eyes locked in silvery blue depths that I became so familiar with.
I leaped from the wall and jumped into his arms, relishing in the soft comfort his embrace provided.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were too scared to leave your manor.” The words came out more bitter than I thought they would. I saw his face squint in pain.
“I know. I’m so sorry Hermione. I’m moving into the city so I can be near you. Malfoy Manor’s not a home without you. No place is a home to me without you, Hermione.”
I didn’t know what to say. The empty feeling that had threatened to overwhelm me suddenly was filled with Draco’s presence. And all I could say was, “You are?”
Draco chuckled. “Yes. And I wanted to give this back to you.”
At this, Draco pulled a familiar black box from his pocket. He opened it to reveal his promise ring to me. It was silver with a blue diamond in the middle with small brown stones on either side. On each side of the stones a single rose ran along the band. It was as beautiful and unexpected as the first time he had given it to me.
“So…do you accept? Do you forgive me?” Draco asked, his eyes begging me softly.
I couldn’t help myself. I nodded softly, tears brimming in my eyes. I smiled as he slid it on to my finger. I felt the final puzzle piece of my life slide into place. Draco smiled and bent down and kissed me. I kissed him back for a few minutes before pulling away.
“Draco,” I whispered into his ear, “There’s no reason to abandon the manor. S.P.E.W. will just have to learn to deal without me being so close. It’s time you came first.”
I never felt as happy as I did in that moment when Draco smiled at me as if I had solved every single one of his problems.
“I would like that very much, Hermione.”
And we sealed it with a kiss.
*Savin' Me lyrics by Nickelback