Chapter 4 : Chapter 4
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“Now Hermione, you seem to be mentioning your noticing of Malfoy a lot in this story!” Ginny hinted. “You wouldn’t by any chance be hinting at something would you now? That would be so naughty on your behalf Hermione!” she continued laughing. She seemed unaware of my behaviour towards her. Of my annoyance towards her.
I just looked at her as if she had gone mad. She had known all about what went on between them, the struggles they had faced. Every single dirty remark made about us. All the hatred towards us as we struggled with to survive throughout it all. “Gin, please, it’s hard enough telling this story without you interrupting, I started this story not wanting to be interrupted and now I’m not sure if I can continue. You sit here laughing at me, ridiculing me for something i have no control over. All I want to do at this moment is forget about it all and die.”
I knew it was harsh, but I hadn’t told this story yet, I hadn’t revealed my inner most thoughts to anyone throughout the year. Ginny was the only I trusted with this information and the loss that I had faced recently made more reluctant to open my heart for judgement. To open my heart to rejection, to face it all again.
“Look Mi, I’m sorry for all this, I just wanted to lighten the mood, you don’t seem to be happy about this whole I thing, understandably of course, but… well you know what I mean, your very serious about what you say you don’t seem to be able to enjoy life and it’s kind of sad! It’s horrible to sit here and see you behave like this, to see you be unable to look out the window and actually notice the green paddocks and the blue skies without seeing the grey that only you can notice. I sit here every day wondering whether I’m going to have my old best friend back, or whether you are going to stay like this, this robotic person that I never knew. Please continue with the story, it will make you feel better and it may make me get off your back for about…. Five minutes. ” Ginny tried to reassure Hermione.
I had to stop myself from crying at this point, the emotion at what had happened made me want to throw something against the wall so it will be destroyed like my heart, like everything that I ever wanted. Now all I want is to open every artery, vein and capillary within me and watch the blood just flood out of me and onto the ground so people would stop trying to cheer me up and actually comfort me damn it! I had been through hell and back for this and I didn’t need it again. “Sorry Ginny, I can’t keep telling you this, it hurts too much to relive it all over again, to feel the same emotions I felt, It hurts so much I don’t want to fall asleep anymore in case I dream about it. ”
“I know Mi, but seriously, if you don’t it will hurt more” Ginny whispered her reply. She was silently thinking all along, if I can get her through this, maybe she will come back to me.
“Alright…” Hermione continued.
(A/N yes I know all the chapters that are just back on the train are short, but they are only meant to prove the point that this is a flashback, and this is not happening at the moment. however despite this shortness a review would be much appreciated. )
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