Chapter 1 : I Told You So
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He’s still on my mind every day.
I never thought I could survive without him, but now I have to. The few people that knew about it said it wouldn’t have lasted anyway, but they were wrong. I would have loved him everyday of our lives, and I still do. Other people thought we were just friends…enemies at some points…but still friends.
Oh, but it was so much more than that.
What we had was so…pure and true. I know, it sounds horridly cliché-ish, and I hate clichés. But there’s no other way to describe it. It ran thicker than blood. It went deeper than the soul. It was…more than love.
He was my whole life. The people who knew say that we were so young that it didn’t mean anything. I wanted to slap them every time they said that. How dare they! Didn’t mean anything?! Being with him made me feel whole. I didn’t have an emptiness. I didn’t…I appreciated everything more because I had that love in my life. I knew it was him. He was the one. The one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with and beyond. Nothing could stop us from loving each other.
Not even his death.
He was only 17. That was too young. He hadn’t graduated from Hogwarts. He didn’t really get to experience life. None of us had. It was a dark time for the wizarding world even though Voldemort wasn’t terrorizing it.
It wasn’t fair that he died. It should have been me. It took me four years after his death to finally, truly admit that there was nothing I could have done. I had to make that clear to myself or else I would never get over him.
I hate thinking about that day. I try not to as often as possible. My friends know not to bring it up. It’s a touchy subject. I mean obviously because we were…I mean we had…I think you get what I mean.
At the first touch I knew I was ready. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t sure if he had done it before or not, but he seemed to know what he was doing. I remember him leaving a trail of hot kisses starting from my forehead and ending on my belly button. He had avoided my lips knowing I would beg him for more, and I did. I can still feel the beads of sweat dripping from my forehead. I can still feel his touch on my skin. I can still feel the electricity that his kisses sent through my body.
Every touch, bruise, scrape, kiss…everything he gave to me…I can still feel it.
But the other day I started to forget what color his eyes were. I broke down crying. I don’t want to forget him. All I have left now are memories. That’s all I have to cling to. I can’t let those go too. If I ever forgot his smile I don’t know what I would do.
One thing I know I’ll never forget is the day we met. That was the best day of my life…besides the day we made love for the first, and only, time.
No one knows that we did that except us two. It was our little secret. It was the one thing we shared that only we would understand…and if anyone found out we would have gotten expelled for having sex on school grounds.
I often wonder if it would have been better if we had gotten expelled. Maybe we wouldn’t have been anywhere near Hogwarts. Maybe no one could have hurt us. Maybe…maybe he would still be alive.
I often find myself wondering what life would have been like if he had survived. We’d still be together. Possibly married…talking about kids. The thought usually brings a tear to my eye, but not today. Today is his birthday, and I know he wouldn’t want me to be sad. I know he wouldn’t want me to cry.
I just wish I could go back in time to the day we first met. I’d tell the story, but you all know that already. It wasn’t special or spectacular. I didn’t even like him after the first impression. Thankfully we were both given a second chance. When we met for the second time, I still held the first impression in my mind, but he soon laid it to rest.
Sure we had our differences. What couple doesn’t? He only raised his voice to me once. After he was done yelling he turned around and walked away as the tears fell down my face. He immediately turned around and apologized and begged for forgiveness. I gave it to him and he brushed my tears away with his thumb. Then he kissed me. That’s usually what happened when we fought.
One time we went on an entire week without talking to each other. He died before I got to say I was sorry. Thankfully I was still able to ask for forgiveness. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to get that. I’m not sure I deserved it.
“I’m sorry,” I had said. “I love you! Please forgive me!”
That was it. I then fulfilled his final request, and because of it, everyone found out about us. So many people hated me for being with him. I wasn’t even invited to his funeral. It was a very good friend of mine who was able to persuade my way in. I sat right there in the front. Right where no one wanted me. Right where he wanted me to be. In one of the eulogies that was read, the reader said I shouldn’t have kissed his dead body. It was unnecessary, it was unnerving, it was unnatural.
But unnatural would have been us two not being together. We belonged together, and in time there was only one other person who could see that.
I noticed someone else approach out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t move. I didn’t speak until the figure spoke.
“You can’t stay out here all day,” they said. “You know he wouldn’t want you to.”
“It’s his birthday today,” I said even though the figure already knew this. “I’ve been here since midnight last night, and I won’t leave until midnight tonight.”
“Please,” they pleaded. “Come to my house, get something to eat. Take a small nap. Anything. I’m begging you.”
“I won’t,” I replied. “You’re the only one who understand how much I still love him. Please understand what I’m doing now.”
“You’ll freeze to death.”
“Then so be it.”
They sat beside me. “Please Harry,” Hermione begged. “Cedric wouldn’t have wanted you to live like this.”
Even eleven years after his death I cried. I knew she was right. Cedric wouldn’t have wanted me to live this way, but I know I deserve it. Of all the people who said we wouldn’t last…the only person who had said, “I told you so,”
A/N: yeah i know it's short, but i dont care. plz review! tell me what you thought the ship was at first. I really wanna know!
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