Chapter 9 : Welcome to Snape's World
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Lily hadn’t slept all night. Her sleep had been substituted for crying.
When she went to sit down with the Sisters all three of them stood up and left her. Instead they sat with the Marauders. Lily looked to each side of her and noticed that the whole school was watching her, watching how her friends had exiled her because of what she did to James. Her tear ducts must have run dry, because that was the only reason she didn’t burst into tears.
Most Saturdays Lily spent hanging out with her friends, but she didn’t have any more friends and there was nothing that she could do that would change that.
With nowhere to go and no one to turn to she ran to her room. She never remembered feeling so lonely.
On her way she crashed into Severus Snape, sending his homework flying in all directions.
“Watch it Mudblood!” he snapped as he scrambled to pick up every piece of paper.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly and began to pick up papers. Snape shot her a deadly look but let her help him. It didn’t take long with both of them and as Lily handed the papers she collected back to the Slytherin she asked him, “Do you hate me for what I did to James?” She wasn’t expecting him to say yes, and she had no idea why she asked… it sort of just slipped.
Snape continued to sneer but shook his head.
“Do you hate me because I’m a… muggle born then?”
He looked hesitant but shrugged, “That’s part of it.”
“Then what’s the other part?”
“I hate you because you’re just like them,”
Lily sniffled and looked at the floor as she replied, “Not anymore.”
Snape began to walk away hastily but suddenly turned around and said, “Well Evans, welcome to my world.”
James didn’t come down for lunch either.
Lily was growing worried. After dinner was served she caught up to Sirius and asked if James was okay. The Marauder gave her an evil glare as if to say “Duh! No he’s not okay!” but instead he replied, “He’s in his room.” Nothing more was said as the Marauder left.
Lily watched him go and a single tear dripped out of her eye. From behind her she heard footsteps approaching and then heard the cruel voice that she wanted to rip out ever since the night before.
She whirled around and stared into the face of Narcissa.
“Oh hey Lillian,” she smirked.
Lily struck the Vixen in the face sending a loud slap through out the Great Hall.
“You bitch!” she snapped, “You planned that ever since we made the bet didn’t you? You sneak!” Narcissa just laughed and even ignored the slap.
“Well you get what you give Evans.”
“What I did to you isn’t nearly as bad as what you did to me! You ruined my life you fat cow!”
Narcissa’s smirk was wiped off her face, “You brought it on your self Lily… I specifically remember you proposing the bet first. So you can suck on that because you ruined your own life. Blaming me isn’t going to fix anything for you.”
Lily hated to admit that she was right. Tears began to plummet off of her face again and she began sobbing uncontrollably. She left the room just as Narcissa began to tease her about being a crybaby.
It was now Sunday, and James hadn’t left his room since the dance.
Lily sat alone in the crowd of Gryffindors at the table. No one spoke to her, but lots of people spoke of her. It was if she vanished into thin air, but was only remembered as “That Girl From the Hallowe’en Dance.”
She couldn’t bear it. If only James would come out, she could just see him and apologize for the whole mess. Not that he’d forgive her but at least he’d know that she never meant to hurt him.
That night Lily prayed, “Dear God, I don’t ask you for much so please grant me this one small favor. I don’t deserve James’ forgiveness, nor my friends, but I only ask that you help James get through this alright. I’m so worried about him. He hasn’t come out of his room for days… but I guess you already know that. Please let him know how much I love him and how terrible I feel for what I did to him… Am…no wait! Please give me the courage and wisdom to speak to him, even if it’s just for one last time and he’ll never talk to me again…Amen.”
Lily’s worries came no closer to ceasing. On Monday morning when James didn’t come down for breakfast, nor show up to any of the classes scheduled for that day. It was one thing to stay in a room all day but to miss school for it…
He was seriously hurt and it was all her fault.
She sat in her room for the first time in a while with dry eyes. For several hours she sat up thinking of how she could reverse what she had done but nothing had come to her.
Nothing, that is, until eleven o’clock at night. She had been lying in her bed when she had an idea. It wasn’t going to be easy, and it may not even work, but it was all that she could do and it was worth a try.
A/N: So sorry if this chapter wasn't written well. I was up until 3 AM finishing chapters 7-11 so naturally my brain wasn't as functionable. ;) Thank you for all of you who take the time to review, your critisism is what will make me a great author one day!! *big hug*
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