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Trilogy of Errors Part 2: Lies, Fabrication, and Defenistration by CrabPerson
Chapter 3 : An Evening With Potzer
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Chapter 3
An Evening With Potzer

Ron then all of sudden put Harry in a sort of bear-hug.
"aaaahh" Harry choked.
"I'm glad too...." Ron said still hugging.
"I.... Must live!.... Need too... BREATHE!!" He gasped. Ron let go of him quickly.
"Sorry." He said.
"That was a fast recovery......."
"Would you have wanted me to watch you squirm around for my approval?"
"No thank you!" Harry said getting used to the way the writer enjoys making things short and sweet.
"...Well now that we're back to normal, thank god, I need to get things straight with Hermione... Where is she?" Ron asked. He didn't have to wait long as she suddenly appeared next to Harry who now had full gape tanks.
"How do you keep doing that?" He gaped. Potzer also appeared out of nowhere and pulled Harry aside.
"Wait they might need help." Harry said as he and Potzer watched the two.
"No, no... Watch..." Potzer said. Harry watched as the two looked at each other.
".... So.." Hermione said.
"... yeah.."
"They're not saying anything?!" Harry said.
"Shut up and watch!" Potzer said. Ron tried to brush Hermione's hair with his hand, but she grabbed it.
"Uh oh." Harry said.
"No, watch." Potzer said. They both stood there, Hermione still holding Ron's hand by her head.
"......... Oh! Oh..... You think they'll clean up that table?" Harry asked watching Ron and Hermione.
"No, of course not. See I told you they'd be fine... You wanna follow them?"
"How do they see where they're going?" Harry asked amazed how the two had their eyes closed and could still see down the street.
"That was also incredibly fast.." Harry sighed.
"Would you want for them to do nothing but have the 'I'm gonna' win her/him back!' cliche?" Potzer asked.
"No not really." Harry shrugged.
"Good choice. Now, We'll see them later tonight I presume." Potzer said walking away. Harry followed with nothing to do. They both started walking the opposite direction of the new-born R/Hr. I think this is the proper time to delve into the closed off public pool that is Potzer Lovegood. Obviously, Luna never really talks about Potzer. This being because she didn't know he even existed until about a year ago. Harry, himself, is now 25 years old. Potzer is maybe 28 years old. I would have to go into details about Luna's parents if I were to explain it. Some have even speculated as to whether or not they are actually related, since according to Potzer he spent 8 years in the Bermuda Triangle with a wizard named Edmund Stroud. He is definitely a mysterious character. All the times Harry saw him, his brown hair looked as if he was thrown into a large fan and survived. He often wore a jacket of a deep purple color, called mauve. If you remember he was currently an announcer at the Quidditch College, which was apparently a strenuous job as told by Potzer's 5 o'clock shadow.
"So what do you wanna do?" Potzer asked.
"Ah..... Well before we go anywhere I need to go to Gringotts."
"That's fine, but I'm not talking to any Goblins...." Potzer said. They both walked up the marble steps and into the large bank. Harry knew the drill, talk to the Goblin, ride the tram, get all the money you need, get out. He was in the stage of the tram ride right now. It came to sudden screeching halt.
"TIME!" Potzer said. He had a bet with the Goblin he could make it to the vault in under 90 seconds.
"............ 76 seconds." the Goblin said.
"IN YOUR FACE!" Potzer yelled holding out his hand. The Goblin dropped a few sickels in Potzer's outstretched hand. The three then got out too open Harry's vault. The Goblin put in the key and came the sound of all the gears behind the wall turning. It lurched open as Harry and Potzer walked toward it. The door was now fully open. Harry stood there, draining his gape tanks at the vault. It was empty aside for a few coins. Harry had forgotten about all the transactions over the years.
"....... Isn't there supposed to be money in here?" Potzer asked.

Harry threw back another shot of some type of alcohol at the Leaky Cauldron.
"I don't even remember spending that money...." Harry sighed. Potzer sipped on his large bottle of alcohol.
"When you have so much, it goes so fast..." Potzer said.
".... What in the hell am I drinking?" Harry asked as Dom (Tom had passed away and his son took over) poured Harry another shot.
"Why it's Starkman's!" He said slamming a bottle with a picture of a burly, drunk looking man on it. It said "Starkman's Fine 10 Crown".
"Barney Starkman made this stuff. It's currently the second best drink in the uhh... Galaxy I believe.
"What's the first?"
"Not quite sure... I don't think there's been a record of the best drink in existence." Dom explained.
"Well that's hard to believe.... It feels like my brain is oozing out through my ears...." Harry said downing another shot.
"I think your the first person to actually drink the stuff. No one's asked for the stiffest drink behind the bar."
"So that would mean it's..."
"Over 100 years old...."
"Does it age like whine or milk?" Potzer asked Harry.
".......... a little bit of both." Harry said. Just then, Hermione stepped down the stairs and joined Harry and Potzer.
"Hey Dom..." She said.
"What happened to you guys?"
"Oh, me and Ron got a room.."
"Hehe... Got a room... That's funny.." Potzer mumbled.
"Where is Ron?" Harry said looking back at the steps.
"Oh, he's asleep."
"That's even funnier.." Potzer said aloud.
".... Hey, you drink Starkman's too?" Hermione asked Harry seeing the bottle.
"I stand corrected..." Potzer giggled.
"Oh that's right, Ms.Granger has had Starkman's on a few occasions." Dom smiled.
"Only a few..." She tried to cover up.
"This bottle was half full when Mr.Potter got here..." Dom said. Hermione glared at him.
".......... You know, Harry, Ginny is supposed to be here today. Ron said she came with him." Hermione said changing the subject.
"Well that's great.... I'll try to mend fences while totally pissed." Harry sighed.
"Dom, shouldn't you have something to sober him up."
"If he's willing to drink it."
"I'd be willing......" Harry said. Dom pulled out a bunch of (unlabeled) ingredients. He then took a large glass and a funnle out. He began pouring all the ingredients together until it made what looked like a sort of salsa.
"You know, most kids who do well in potions often turn out bartenders." He said.
"You don't say..." Potzer said looking at the drink. When it was done Dom then poured it into a mason jar and gave it to Harry.
"Drink that like you would a normal drink." Dom said. Harry grabbed it and inspected it. He decided to just drink it all at once. He began pouring it all down his throat at a fast rate. When he was done he slammed it down.
"........... Are you ok?" Hermione asked looking amazed. Harry didn't answer.
"If you're gonna throw up do it on her." Potzer said taking another drink.
"Actually..." Harry began.
"I feel fi-" He collapsed from his stool to the floor.
"Harry!!" Hermione said jumping up.
"That's just a side affect..." Dom said looking over the bar.
"What, death?" Potzer said also getting up. Harry had a pulse, he was no doubt alive. There was another sign of his living, since he immediately shot up.
"You okay?" Potzer asked. Harry looked like he was waking up.
"Come on.... Do you know who this is?" Potzer said shaking Hermione.
"I feel fine." Harry laughed, sober.
"Well good.." Hermione said shoving Potzer away.
"So you're completely sober?" Potzer asked.
"Yeah... Thanks, Dom."
"No problem." Dom smiled.
"Harry, if you don't mind me asking... Why were you drinking so much?"
"Well...." Harry sighed getting up.
"He's broke." Potzer blurted out.
"Yeah.. I'm broke." He sighed again.
"Really? I thought you would have enough money to last a lifetime.." Hermione said a little shocked.
"Well I spent the rest on Starkman's....." He had just realized this.
"Don't worry... We'll figure something out." Hermione said.
"Until then I need to find Ginny..." Harry said.
"......... Run, Harry... run...." Potzer said. Harry did what Potzer said but at a slower pace.

Harry had already had one lightning fast recovery of a relationship. He hoped lightning would strike twice. He walked around looking for any sign of red hair in any shop. Before finding red hair, he found something that caught his eye. He walked into Flourish and Blotts and saw a sign.... A rather interesting sign.

Landenhousen Publishers are looking for a hot new series of books.
We are offering 4000 Galleons to publish. Plus millions more after.
Please notify manager for details.

Harry's stomach flipped.
"Can I help you?" asked someone who looked like the manager.

47 Minutes Later

Harry continued down the street looking for red hair. And he found it in Weasley Wizard Wheezes. But that was Fred and George. He continued on until he found her outside the magical menagerie reading a book. He came up slowly and sat down next to her.
"What do you want?" she asked not looking up from her book.
"To give you an apology." He said. She closed her book and turned toward him.
"I'm listening..."
"Ginny, I'm sorry. I should have told you..."
"Yes you should have." she said.
"I know it's already been explained to you-"
"It has, and I'm amazed you couldn't tell our voices apart."
"The point is, I'm sorry. At least I was trying to get you back."
"And you did....."
"Until he came and ruined it all." Harry sighed.
"So it was 100 percent a mistake? I need to hear it from you."
"Hermione was the farthest thing from my mind..." he said. After only a day, she kissed him again. His stomach did another flip.
"This is the second time today I've had a fast recovery of a relationship." Harry said.
"That's because it was a mistake..."
"Makes sense..." Harry smiled.
"I'm so glad... Now things can be ow they should be..."
"Thank god.." Harry said.
"We'll always be together........ You won't have that autobiography on your back." Harry smile immediately turned blank. Because only 47 minutes ago.........

"We'd be glad to publish a Harry Potter biography." the Landenhousen executive smiled.
"I'm gonna be rich!! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!" Harry celebrated.

"Hehe... No more biography..." Harry stomach crumbled.

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