Chapter 18 : Angel Ginny
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18- Angel Ginny
“Remus?” Tonks asked tentatively after they were both fully healed and were lying, still slightly out of breath, on the bed.
“Yes my love.” Tonks’ heart fluttered at the affection in his words but she carried on with her question.
“Did you perform a silencing charm?”
“Fuck. It doesn’t matter them all hearing the, well the sex,-”
“- Which they will have.” she stated slightly smugly causing Remus to laugh along with her.
“But that fight. There was stuff in there that Mr and Mrs Griffin should not be saying to each other. There were things nobody outside the Order should know.”
“Exactly.” She moaned miserably.
“Do you think they have the spells on the rooms anyway?” He asked hopefully.
“Doubt it. But we could check.”
“And before the morning as well.”
“Damn it. I’ll have to go and ask Ginny if she heard anything. God this is going to be humiliating.”
“Rather you than me, love.” He smirked at her, unable to hide the joy he was feeling despite the possible crisis going on. “I’ll wait for you here.”
“Fine.” She picked herself up off the bed and moved towards the door.
“Nymphadora?” he whispered gently, looking at her with amusement.
“Yes.” she turned hoping he was going to try to sweep her back into the bed.
“You might want to put some clothes. Not that I’m complaining but it might make it a little awkward with Ginny.
“Thanks.” she grabbed a dressing gown from the back of the door and wrapped it around herself tightly before heading into Ginny’s room.
“Ginny?” she asked softly as she tapped gently on the door.
“Come in,” when Tonks got in she saw that Ginny was in bed but was wide awake, a big book open on her knees in which she seemed to be scribbling furiously.
“Not working now are you Gin?”
“Oh, no. I’m writing to Harry. He gave me this book before we left. He has the other half of the pair and if I write in mine it instantly appears in his and his response appears in this one.”
“That’s lovely, say hi from me, and apologise to him for stealing his girlfriend for the week.”
“I will.” Ginny closed the book and looked up at Tonks, now giving her her full attention. “Now I’m guessing from the look on your face that the silencing charm was a good idea.”
“Silencing charm?” Tonks asked, completely mystified.
“Yeah. When I saw you both go into your room earlier, well I couldn’t bare the thought of lying here listening to you two… well… you know, especially without Harry here… so I kind of did a silencing charm on your room so nobody could hear you.”
“You are an absolute angel. We had this massive fight- if they’d heard that they’d have found out loads of Order secrets, we were just getting ready to perform memory charms on everyone in the house.”
“But you didn’t just argue did you?” Ginny smirked with a knowing, and just a little jealous, look.
“Yeah, I don’t really know how… why… ” she trailed off quietly, the complications of the situations starting to flood into her head.
“Well as your 100% made for each other its hardly surprising.” She smiled at the confused looking Tonks in front of her.
“But,” she whispered more to herself than to Ginny, “I shouldn’t have. It might not even last- he’s probably in there preparing his ‘we can’t do this speech’ right now. I’m with Jay…” tears were streaming down her face now and Ginny hugged her tightly and making comforting noises, “And I love him. I love Jay- he makes me feel safe, when I’m with him he’s all I can think of. Then when I’m with Remus I don’t know what happens, suddenly its exactly how it always was and I want nothing more than to be with him.”
“Tonks, Jay’s a great guy, of course you love him. But it’s not the same is it?”
“No, not when I’m around Remus, or if I’ve spent time with him. Why do you think I haven’t been coming to see him? It isn’t because I haven’t got the time- it’s because I know that for a while after that I’ll be unconsciously comparing Jay to him. And Jay deserves more than that. He’s amazing, and I do love him.”
“Talk to Remus. Just talk to him. And remember Tonks, maybe Jay was just a rebound- someone who was nice and loving to you after what happened with Remus, that kiss at Ku De Ta.”
“Thank you Ginny, you’re an angel, thank you so much for listening.” she smiled weakly at Ginny and wiped the tears out of her eyes. “And I meant what I said earlier- if you ever need someone to talk to, I know you’ve got your own problems, we should go out for a drink and a talk soon.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
“Nymphadora, come here.” Remus said gently as Tonks stepped into the room, her face still visibly tear streaked; he held out his arms to her and she retreated into their safe hold. She explained about Ginny’s silencing spell and saw the relief evident on her face.
“What are we doing Remus?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know my love, I don’t know.”
“You let go didn’t you. When you hit me you started to loose control- just to do. Then, the sex, you weren’t a gentleman-”
“Stop apologising Remus. I loved it. It was what I’ve wanted you to do since I started to get to know you.”
“Yes, I let go. That hasn’t happened since I was a little boy, apart from full moons of course.”
“And what now, are you back to being controlled, gentlemanly Remus?”
“Yes, but maybe not all the time. You know what I said, about how you were the only one I could ever settle down and kids with,” Tonks murmured her assent, “it’s true. You’re the only one I want.”
“I know, but are you going to do what you’ve done every other time?” she looked directly at him and there was challenging look in her beautiful eyes, “Let your guilt, and god knows what else, stop you? I can‘t live with that, you know that.”
“Yes, I know that.”
“So you won’t stop it? You’ll let yourself love and be happy?” she said hopefully, “with me?”
“Well I wouldn’t be able to do it with anybody else!” he smiled gently at her, almost shyly.
“But your not going to have second thoughts?”
“Not unless you turn Death-Eater on me, and even then I think I’d find it hard to let you go.”
“Well, it’s lucky I have no intention of changing sides then isn’t it.”
“Yes, very lucky.” he took her small hand and gripped it in his larger ones. “You not having second thoughts? I mean for you I’m hardly ideal, and Jay could give you so much more, he’s young, whole, well off, and respectable and…-”
“-…not you.” she interrupted him. “not my Remus Lupin. Not the love of my life.”
“Thank you Nymphadora, my love. My only love.” he told her as he took her into his arms and held her tight.
When they finally moved apart their doubts, worries and concerns all flooded back. Tonks decided to share hers with Remus, because after all if they couldn’t talk about them now when would they be able to?
AN: next chapter will bring up all the problems in their relationship and their relationships with others… is not as simple as it seems.
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