He gritted his teeth, his eyes shut tightly and not a sound came from him as a long, pale finger pressed the skin on his forearm.
He loved the pain. He adored the pain. The pain had become his life. Without it he knew he would lose his mind. He could forget the past. He could forget the girl, the mudblood, for her part in his life. Yet forgetting her was very hard. She was always lurking there in the dark recesses of his mind just waiting for an opportunity to make an appearance.
He loathed her with a passion he knew went deeper than the veins of hate. He had loved her. He knew it would take time for the wounds to heal. The process was slow but the thought of revenge was hastening it.
Slowly yet surely he was concocting a plan for the ultimate revenge. She would pay for using him. She would know what happens when you take advantage of a Malfoy. He wanted to make sure she would never forget him and the grave mistake she had made by choosing a Weasley over him. He could only hope that she would live long enough to experience the dreadfully vivid and most probably accurate images of the one you love in the arms of another.
“Welcome Draco, to our circle.” Voldemort hissed behind the shadows. The finger was moved from his skin and Draco felt relief wash over him like a cool breath of wind.
A circle of death-eaters surrounded him. He was finally a part of them. For years he had dreamed of the moment when he would become what his father wished of him. Yet now, he was a death eater, he felt no more a man than he had been before. In fact, he felt degraded. He was branded. It was no better than being an item on the shelf with a barcode on him. He was no more important than the other items on the shelf. Just exactly the same.
It was at that moment that Draco Malfoy could not understand why his father found being a death eater so appealing. The Malfoy’s were born leaders but as death eaters they were followers. They thrived on standing out, on being better than everybody else, and yet again being a death-eater did not include this.
“Draco, we wondered about you when you were being held captive by that old fool running Hogwarts. Most believed you to be a traitor. I had faith in you. I knew you wanted this since you were a child. I was right of course.” Smirked a near-mirror image of Draco as their fellow death eaters began to talk, “I’m just disappointed we could not get our mark together. Never mind, we’re both faithful followers now.”
After the ceremony Lucius, Draco and Salazar apparated to a small but lavish house in the mountains. With Dumbledore and the order most likely searching for Draco, the manor could not be used.
Lying on his bed with the moonlight streaming upon him, Draco began to think of her. It was only at night that he allowed her to take over his mind. Most of the time he thought of the possible reasons that could explain why she had decided to have an affair with the Weasel. But at rare ties, when he was almost asleep, his mind traveled back to the good times they had shared together. These memories included kissing her, touching her, hugging her, laughing with her and his favourite…fighting with her.
He missed her and he wanted her but there was no way he could forgive her. She had betrayed him. She was the traitor. She was a liar and a deceitful Gryffindor. He wanted never to see her again if he could help it. She was stupid, ignorant, mudblood Granger again.
And he still loved her.
You Gotta Be out There
Tears that shone like jewels slowly rolled down her cheeks until they reached her chin and fell quickly to the ground. She was rooted to the spot she was standing it…the doorway to the living room in Grimmauld Place
You Gotta Be Somewhere
The room had been destroyed. Shards of glass splintered wood and other broken objects covered the floor unceremoniously. Precious items that belonged to the Black family had been smashed to pieces.
It had been him.
A week had passed and nobody had seen nor heard of the whereabouts of Draco Malfoy.
Wherever you are
As soon as Ron had left her chocked and confused at the Gryffindor table that fateful fays she had rushed to Dumbledore and asked him to take her to Grimmauld Place immediately.
They had arrived to find the living room in the state of dishevelment it was still in. Dumbledore did not ask her questions. He called a meeting, however, with the order. From what Hermione could recall, Dumbledore was under the impression that Voldemort’s followers had managed to find Draco and had kidnapped him. She did not have the courage to tell the headmaster the truth. It was of no consequence. She knew he would be with Voldemort whatever the case was.
He knew the truth from the ring. She cursed the rings with all her power. She wanted to destroy it like it had destroyed her relationship with Draco. But no matter what she did, nothing could even scratch the surface. It simply burned a fiery red as it had for the past week.
As she was in no danger she knew he was. He had gone to Voldemort willingly. There was no proof to support her theory but she felt in her heart that it was true.
She missed him and she wanted desperately to tell him the truth. For a week she had cried for him and for a week he had not come.
Cause there are these night when I sing myself to sleep
Nobody could comfort her. She missed him more than she had missed him when he had been taken to Grimmauld Place.
Every night without fault she clung onto her pillow, buried her face into it, and cried until she fell into a restless slumber.
And I’m hoping my dreams bring you close to me +
She dreamed of the night they had spent together and the heated display of affections they had shared that no words could ever achieve. But every dream ended the same way. He would walk away from her and fade into the distance. She would scream as loud as her vocal chords would allow and run into the mist to find him but he was never there. She was lost and he was not there to help her. She would wake and cry even more.
Are you listening?
Draco Malfoy was as stubborn as a mule. She knew no matter what she told him, he would never believe that she had not kissed Ron willingly.
Ron and Harry could not understand why Hermione was so unhappy. Each time they asked her what was wrong she would break down again.
She called for him in her mind. Telepathy was something that even in the magical world could not be achieved. But somehow Hermione felt Draco could hear her. She pleaded for him to come back but he never responded.
Hear me, I’m crying out
She was broken inside. If she had not known it was physically impossible she would have sworn her heart had been torn in two.
I’m ready now, turn my world upside down
He had left without even leaving a letter. She knew she was being ridiculous but felt a letter detailing how much he hated her would have made her feel better. She had no idea where he was, how he was or if she would ever see him again.
Find me, I’m lost inside this crowd
Today was the day. Undercover members had it on good authority that Voldemort planned an attack. It was supposed that he would bring down Hogwarts first. To bring down the heart of the enemy so that they would gain control.
Hermione watched as people bustled through headquarters, preparing things. They would go to Hogwarts by floo in a few moments and hopefully put their strategy in place.
She felt like an outside, a stranger, a ghost. She had been fraternizing with the enemy and only Dumbledore knew it. How could she help defend Hogwarts when the man she loved was going to be fighting against her and those she was close to?
It’s getting loud, I need to see you
They arrived at Hogwarts and Hermione felt even more separated. Students were rushing to the dungeons and listening to what the teachers were telling them. They were going to lock the students up so that Voldemort could not find them.
Some of the first years were crying and even a few of the older ones could not control their tears.
Hermione felt the urge to run away. Draco had been able to do it so why couldn’t she?
I’m screaming for you, please hear me
Harry and Ron led her up the stone stairs and into the first floor. Everybody was gathered there. The entire Weasley family, Lupin, Mad-Eye, Tonks, McGonagall…everybody bar Draco.
A tear rolled down her cheek and Ron hugged her, “We’ll be alright Hermione. We’ll make it through. I won’t let you die.” He told her in a soothing voice.
She cried even more. Couldn’t he understand? She wanted to die. She needed to be with Draco. He wouldn’t come so she could not live. She could not bear to live whilst he hated her and was determined to see her in pain and misery.
I used to be scared of letting someone in.
Her lower lip trembled as they made their way to the castle grounds. They had been assigned to certain sections. Ron, Harry and Hermione and the rest of the remaining DA had control over the small space around the whomping willow and the tree itself as it was a good defense should somebody come too close.
“This is it.” Harry said in a quiet and shaky tone. Hermione realized that Harry looked more scared than she did. His face was ashen white and his eyes darted from place to place nervously.
“If one of dies at least we’ll be together.” Ron uttered, he seemed scared but a little more ‘with it’ than Hermione would have thought he would be.
She gave her best friends a small smile in gratitude. She was still annoyed with Ron for doing what he had but she could not very well blame him. He did not know the full implications of his kiss.
The three of them had been friends for almost seven years and she was glad to have them beside her in the Great War.
But it gets so lonely being on my own
But Draco was not there. He was going to kill people and all because Ron had kissed her.
She closed her eyes for a moment so that she could recuperate. Every thought of Draco drove a dagger into her heart and made her feel faint.
She opened her eyes and looked down at the blazing ring sadly. She knew it was not just red because he was in danger. She was now in danger too.
Her lungs tightened and she could barely breathe. He had told her that if she was ever in danger he could be by her side instantly.
Hopes that he still loved her were slowly fading. He honestly believed that she had willingly betrayed him. He did not care that she was in danger.
He hated her.
With no one to talk to, no one to hold me
Voldemort’s mouth was moving and the death eaters listened with great anticipation for their instructions. Draco heard nothing. His ability to hear had been switched off. He could hear instead, his thoughts and feel the insistent burning of the ring on his finger.
The strings of his heart were pulling him to her. He wanted to see her. It was like a mosquito bite that needed to be scratched.
He had thought of taking the ring off and being free of the guilt of knowing that she was in danger. Yet something always stopped him. If he still had the ring on at least she knew that he cared at some point, however small that point was. For if he took off the ring, the connection would be broken and the stone would go clear.
I’m not always strong
He was broken from his thoughts when he was alerted to the movement around him. They were putting their masks on.
He looked down at the black mask in his hands. Death and destruction filled his being. He had chosen this destiny and by Merlin he was going to see it through.
He cringed when the ring began to get warmer. Danger was growing. Was this plan, this charade worth risking when Hermione, filthy mudblood, Granger had a good chance on dying?
‘Don’t think of that.’ He scolded himself knowing any thought of her would weaken his resolve.
Oh I need you here, are you listening?
Standing in a circle they apparated to the gates of Hogwarts. Everybody knew they could not apparate inside the grounds or the castle itself, a fact Draco had heard Hermione mention often.
“You know what to do my loyal followers. Now kill the worthless wizards and witches who dare to challenge me.” Voldemort hissed venomously. They barged through the gates and into the grounds.
Draco had no idea where he had to go. He had not been listening.
“Where are they master?” Draco heard peter Pettigrew whisper to Voldemort, who chuckled.
“They’re hiding! Like cowards!” Voldemort laughed loudly, obviously trying to achieve an angry response from the opposing side.
Nothing happened then…
“We’re not cowards you bloody idiot!” Draco heard the voice of Ronald Weasley fill his ears. He looked around to see if anybody else had heard the voice but nobody else had heard anything. He then scanned the area carefully but could not find the weasel.
“Potter’s invisibility cloak.” He thought aloud. His eyes widened as he realized the red haired bastard was near him.
I’m restless and wild, I fall but I try.
“Shut up Ron.” Hermione whispered angrily, covering Ron’s mouth with her hand. They were hiding near the tree after touching the knot so that they would not get lashed at.
“But he called us cowards!” Ron hissed back. He hated it when people called him a coward. He could barely handle any insult anymore. He was sick of it.
“Shut up the both of you. I think Malfoy can hear us.” Harry said in a hushed voice of annoyance.
“Malfoy?” Hermione breathed. Her heart skipped a beat and she found herself leaning behind the tree to see for herself.
Standing not too far away from the tree, with a black mask on, was a blonde haired boy. Hermione did not know anybody else who had platinum blonde hair so realized it really was him.
“Draco.” She whispered again, her heart thumping wildly. All rational thoughts disappeared. She forgot that Ron and Harry were next to her under Harry’s cloak. She began to walk towards him and was caught by surprise when she was held back.
“Are you mad? What do you think you’re doing?” Harry hissed in a low voice.
I need someone to understand.
“I’m sorry.” Hermione whispered, still looking at Draco. He was looking directly at them now. Even though Hermione knew he could not see them she was certain that he had heard them.
But why then, didn’t he alert Voldemort to their presence?
Can you hear me?
He was frozen to the spot he stood on. His eyes were wide with realization.
Hermione was only a few steps way.
He had heard her scold the weasel and also apologize to Potter for a reason he knew not of.
‘Say something. Tell the Dark lord. Tell him that they’re there.’ His mind instructed. But his mouth remained firmly shut.
If he said something, Voldemort would murder Weasley (which would give him great pleasure) and then Granger. His plan would not work if she were dead.
I’m lost in my thoughts.
“Now!” roared a voice and as darkness descended upon them, thousand of people ran towards them. Draco whipped out his wand and looked to where the ‘Golden Trio’ had been.
He saw her for the first time since he had found out about her betrayal. She stood as limp and scared as he did. They stared at each other for a moment as the cries of people being murdered began to fill their ears.
And baby I’ve fought for all that I’ve got. Can you hear me?
Ron and Harry began to engage in the fighting but Hermione remained wand in hand, staring at Draco.
His expression was blank and she was unable to read what he was thinking. She was going to approach him but as soon as she took a few steps in his direction he ran off.
Her heart sunk in her chest as all hope vanished.
They were over.
A/N – Yeah, yeah go on, say it…you hate me. Well there’s still two chapters left to go in this story and what eventful chapters they shall be. If you are emotional I DEFINITELY recommend tissues, water or something for the next chapter. I promise it shall be the saddest yet. I give full credit for the song lyrics to the beautiful Kelly Clarkson. It is called ‘Hear Me’ and is on her latest album. Anyway thanks for reading and please drop me a review. Love you all! Love Sara4Harry xox
A/N - I have a new website up. Plus to celebrate I have introduced a reviewer of the month thing. To hear more about it, visit my website and click on 'Reviewer of the Month'. This month it's Vera :) Congrats honey!
Write a Review The Checkout Chick: Chapter Twenty Nine