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James's Sketch Book by Houlestar
Chapter 18 : Leave me alone
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 27

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That morning James had heard the music again. The bittersweet melody seemed to show a sorrow that nearly made James cry, the emotion the violinist created was so powerful. He had searched for the player, but had once again not been able to find him.

As he sat down in the potions classroom, he tried to recall the song that the violin had been playing. The melody seemed to be as allusive as water, but it had a lingering memory to it, so it haunted his mind.

“Lily, are you going to sit with us?” he asked as Lily passed by.

Looking over her shoulder she shook her head, “Sorry, but today I have to get something done.”

At first James thought that Lily would walk over to the table in the far corner where Snape normally sat, but was now being occupied by Rae, who was scowling at Lily.

If Lily sits over here thought Rae bitterly, I’ll bit her. Or curse off her nose. either one is incredibly appealing.

Instead she passed by that table and walked straight up to the Slytherin table.

No, Lily, don’t sit there! thought James.

“Um, Hi,” said Lily, trying to sound slightly cheerful.

“What do you want, Evans?” asked Narcissa.”

“I wanted to know if you mind if I sat here, with you,” she added, so they wouldn’t do what they had done to the first year Snape years ago by giving him the table and then moving.

Smith and Green burst into laughter. “That’s rich,” laughed Smith.

“She’s dead serious,” said Narcissa. “You want to sit here? You’re dead sure?”

“yep,” said Lily.

“Why don’t you sit with Rachel, or Potter,” suggested Narcissa.

“No, I want to sit with you,” insisted Lily.

“I’m not letting a mudblood sit here,” mumbled Smith.

“Too bad,” said Narcissa. “I say she has a right to sit here, with us.”

“I can’t believe they let her sit with them,” said Rae as Sirius sat down beside her.

“No, neither can I,” said Sirius.

“Who wants a bet that they are going to get up and ditch the bitch,” said Rae.

“It’s not like Narcissa to let Lily sit with her,” said Black, ignoring his girlfriend’s insult on her ex-best friend. “I mean, she hates muggle-borns. Why would she let Lily sit with her?”

“maybe she likes her,” laughed Rae.

“What’s wrong about that?” asked Sirius.

“Sirius,” laughed Rae, touching his arm. “You’re so innocent.”

“Me innocent?” laughed Sirius. “Haven’t heard that one before.”

“She likes Lily,” repeated Rae.

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Sirius.

“You don’t get it,” said Rae exasperatedly.

“No really, I don’t see what is wrong with being gay, which she isn’t,” said Sirius. “She’s going out with Lucius Malfoy.”

“Look, I was-”

Slugghorn cleared his throat. “today we will begin a new potion-”

The opening of the door caused Slugghorn to stop. “Mr. Lupin, perhaps you could explain to us why you are late,” said Slugghorn, when seeing that it was Remus who had opened the door.

“Um... I was er...”

“Go on,” encouraged Slugghorn.

“You don’t want to know,” muttered Lupin, sitting down next to James.

“Actually I do,” persisted Slugghorn. “Unless you want me to have to make Dumbledore investigate your shady behaviours, I would suggest you give me an adequate reason as to why you were late.”

“I really feel uncomfortable saying this out loud to the whole class,” said Lupin.

“So,” said Narcissa, talking in an undertone, so Slugghorn, distracted with Lupin wouldn’t notice. “What do you want?”

“What do you mean?” asked Lily.

“Clearly you would come over here unless you wanted to ask me something,” said Narcissa.

“I want to know, Black, what you meant by Snape being at a funeral,” said Lily.

“Well that is where he is,” said Narcissa simply.

“You mean that Prince girl?” asked Lily. “He’s at her funeral?”

“Obviously,” whispered Narcissa. “God, it took you long enough.”


“Clearly you are not as smart as people say you are,” said Narcissa. “Must be that mudblood clogging up your brain.”

“Come on Lupin,” insisted Slugghorn. “Just say where you were and I won’t have to take off points.”

Lupin opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the door opening again.

Snape stood in the doorway of the potions class. Even from a distance, Lily could see that he was thinner, and he was normally very. As he came closer, Lily noticed he was paler.

“Take your seat, Severus,” said Slugghorn.

Not looking at anyone, Snape stalked off to the far corner, finding it occupied by Sirius and Rae, he walked over to the area where the Slytherins were sitting, and sat behind Lily and Narcissa’s table.

She noticed that he had slightly red marks around his eyes. He’s been crying. She thought. She remembered what had happened the last time she saw him, and how his father had yelled at him. He didn’t cry then, so why was he crying now?

“How was your break?” she asked him.

ignoring her, he stared at the table.


“Shut up, Evans,” he muttered.

“That’s uncalled for,” said a hufflepuff from the next table.

“look, I know your mad-”

“Leave me alone!” he said loud enough for Slugghorn to hear.

“What was that?” asked Slugghorn, coming over to the two tables.

“I was telling Evans to shut up,” said Snape cooly. “She was being a nosy bitch.”

The whole class seemed to suck in their breath waiting for Slugghorn to do something. Everyone knew that the both of them were in the Slug Club, and they wanted to see how Slugghorn would react to them talking and Snape cursing in front of the whole class.

“Twenty points from Slytherin,” said Slugghorn. “And five from Gryffindor.”

“Why?” asked James.

“Because the both of them were talking, Mr. Potter,” said Slugghorn, as he passed by him on his walk to the front of the class.

Slugghorn started to explain the next potion that they would be making, and as they got started, Lily looked over at Snape. He sat there, not doing anything, just looking at his hands.

Why doesn’t he just do his potions work? thought Lily. He loves it, yet he’s just sitting there...

“Evans,” said Narcissa, following Lily’s gaze.

“Yes,” answered Lily, her eyes snapping away from Snape.

“I would stay out of it if I was you,” advised Narcissa.

“What do you mean?” asked Lily, cutting up some Witch Wart steams.

“Stay out of Snape’s business,” said Narcissa. “He hates it when I get involved, but when I found out what happened, I sort of had to. Listen,” she leaned in closer, “He hates help, and if you try to help him he is going to push you away. I know you may have been friends, but what happened between the two of you isn’t going to make things any better. You chose James-”

“What do you-”

“Listen, all that matters is that you and Severus will never be able to be any sort of friends again. You aren’t going to ever be able to talk about anything. If you want him to confess anything or talk to you about what is going on in his life, get that out of your skull. He hates you-”

“Stay out of my business,” said Snape.

Narcissa turned around, and looked at Snape, who was still staring at the table.

“I’ve already had a word with Evans. And I must say, she doesn’t listen to a word you say, so don’t waste your breath,” sneered Snape. “You should spend more time doing worth while things, rather than hope that she’ll do anything you tell her to do.”

Narcissa looked as if she was about to say something, but then changed her mind and turned away from him.

“I do have ears you know,” he continued. “I can hear when Potter talks about me, and do you expect me to take this when you talk about me? I know you hate me, but that’s no excuse-”

“I don’t hate you,” snapped Narcissa.

“Then stop acting like Potter and grow up,” said Snape.

“You’re saying I’m the one who needs to grow up,” laughed Narcissa. “That’s rich-”

Snape tuned her out. She’s just mad because I don’t care anymore he thought. Well honestly, it’s just her.

“Both of you need to grow up,” said Lily softly.

Snape didn’t seem to hear it, but Narcissa turned around and remained silent for the rest of the period.

“So what do you think of Rachel and Padfoot hooking up?” asked James from across the room, to Moony.

“Makes me kind of sick,” said Remus.

“Really, that’s too bad,” said James. “I think they make a rather nice couple.”

“How can you say that about her when she is Lily’s ex-best friend now?” asked Remus.

“Moony, I was just saying that I’m happy that Sirius has found someone, I mean he has to otherwise he’ll just go around looking for someone to be with, sleeping with random girls-”

“When did he do that?” asked Remus.

“Never, I was just speculating,” said James.

“I think she should find someone else,” said Remus.

“I think you are just jealous,” snapped James. “I know you like her Moony, you’re just too shy to do anything. If she was the last girl on the planet you would still be ‘so how is the weather?’ You should ask a girl out for once. Take action. Use this as a lesson to say, ‘if you like a girl, make haste or she’ll go out with someone else.’”

“I’m not going to ask her out, you know why,” said Remus.

“Not that excuse,” moaned James. “Your fury little problem should have nothing to do with whether or not you ask anybody out.”

“She deserves someone better than Sirius,” said Remus. “And defiantly someone better than me. I would one day have to tell her, Prongs. And what would she do then? Most girls in their right minds would leave me, I can understand that. I’m too dangerous, and any ways, I’m not like you Prongs. No matter how smart I am, no one will want to hire me, I used to think differently, but now I get the fact that being a werewolf makes you useless in the eyes of society.”

“You should at least-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Remus.

Sirius looked at Rae. “I wonder what Remus and James are talking about,” he said.

“probably something guys talk about,” she said. “What do guys talk about?”

“things,” said Sirius, distractedly. “Do you think it would be possible for Remus to not want to be my friend anymore?”

“Not possible,” answered Rae. “You are the best of friends. But then again, I did think that Lily and I would be friends-”

“You’re just going through a rough time,” said Sirius. “But in terms of Remus and me, I don’t know, he may not want to be-”


“Lets not talk about it,” he said.


The rest of the class passed by. Lily looked over at Snape every once and awhile and noticed that he still wasn’t doing anything. He was just looking at the table. At the end of the class, pr. Slugghorn said, “Severus a word.”

Snape walked up to Slugghorn’s desk. Lily lagging behind, was still putting away her materials.

“How are you doing?” asked Slugghorn.

“fine,” muttered Snape.

“Well you’ve had all of the staff worried. We have your best interest at heart you know,” he said.

“Then stop bothering me,” Snape snapped.

“Look, we just want to know if you are all right-”

“I’m not going to do anything-”

“She was-”

“She means nothing to me,” hissed Snape. “She’s dead and that is it. She’s better off dead. After the attack she was hardly living. I’m glad of it.”


“Look,” said Snape. “I’m all right.” He stormed out of the classroom.

Slugghorn looked over at Lily. “You should be going to class,” he said.

Hurriedly, she ran out, hoping to catch up with Snape.

“Severus!” she called out, touching his shoulder.

“Sod off Evans,” he said twisting away.

“Are you all right?”

He ignored the question. “Leave me alone.”

A/N; don’t own Harry Potter.

Well, there it is. I know everyone wanted it. A little shorter than I thought It would be. I’ll try to have the next one out sooner.

Rae is Lucius Malfoy’s cousin. Just letting you know.

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