Chapter 5 : The Death Eater Who Loved Me
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The Death Eater Who Loved Me
On Monday they all had to go to classes again and I got really bored. Sitting by myself in the common room wasn’t exactly exciting and I didn’t have anything to do. Draco and I hadn’t made arrangements to meet again. We hadn’t kissed either. After letting each other know that we liked each other, or rather: after trying to make the other believe that we liked them we had just smiled at each other and then returned to the castle.
“He probably freaked out”, said Ron smirking, “he’s scared because he likes you and he realised the Death Eaters are going to chuck him out if they find that out.”
I was worried about something else. I hadn’t realised until yesterday that I was actually going to have to make out with him. It wasn’t that I thought he was absolutely disgusting, not at all, he was very good-looking and I also thought that he was a very interesting character. He didn’t seem all evil to me. It was just... he was so young! He was nearly seven years younger than I was. I mean, kissing a seventeen year old... was that even legal? I told myself that he was much more mature than your average seventeen years old, and I also told myself that it was only fake and that I had to think of myself as an eighteen years old. But it still felt SO weird!
When they were off to classes the next morning again, Hermione gave me a guitar. She had asked me last night what my day had been like and when I told her ‘boring’ she had asked me why. I had told her I had nothing to do and that I missed my guitar and the next morning she had somehow manifested one.
I stayed in the Gryffindor common room all morning playing that guitar. I’m crap at playing any instrument, but I enjoyed it anyway. Then I realised that shutting myself up in the common room wouldn’t help me see Draco again and I went for a walk in the school ground. I met Hagrid and we had a chat. He was really nice. I could see why Hermione was friends with him. He took me along to his next class of Care of Magical Creatures and I got to see a Unicorn! I wished I had a camera with me then. But Hagrid promised me there were plenty of opportunities to take photos of the Unicorns. After that it was time for tea and in the Great Hall I saw Draco again. He was sitting at his house table and caught my eye once or twice.
The next day I took my guitar out with me and sitting under a beech tree by the lake spent a very pleasant afternoon in the golden October sun. And there Draco found me. I put the guitar aside.
“No”, he said, “please go on.”
I laughed, genuinely self-conscious.
“I’m a useless player.”
“I can’t do it at all, so to me you seem great, no matter how bad you are. Please go on. Please?”
So I played him a few songs (the really easy ones, but they were all Muggle songs, so he had never heard them before and didn’t know they were the ones that everybody masters in about two minutes) and then I showed him a few chords and taught him Zombie, by The Cranberries.
I didn’t know then that these were the last quiet moments that I had, because after that a few things happened and what could have been my easy quiet life at Hogwarts ended before it really started. When the sun disappeared behind the castle we got up and slowly walked back to the Castle. It as rather chilly now and too cold to stay out. While we were walking back I explained to Draco what Zombie was about and as I had spent some time in Belfast when I was in Ireland I could explain it rather vividly, though I didn’t tell him that I had been there. I figured the line “when the violence causes silence we must be mistaken” also applied to any Death Eaters’ attack and I wanted him to feel bad about it. It seemed to work, he seemed rather put down.
The sun appeared again between a tower and the roof and poured an orange glow over his whiteblond hair. I turned around and saw the sky and the lake bathed in fire and I actually gasped. It was SO beautiful!
I spontaneously grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“Look at that!” I whispered.
“Beautiful”, he said, but I noticed he wasn’t looking at the scenery, but at me.
I smiled at him.
“You’re incredible”, he said, “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
And he kissed me. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be. His lips were soft, his breath was sweet and he obviously knew what he was doing. Telling myself not to think of him as a seven years younger teenager I actually quite enjoyed it.
Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny were thrilled when I told them about it a bit later.
“It’s only a matter of time”, said Ron happily, “until they kick him out.”
“And then”, said Hermione empathically, “you won’t need to pretend any longer you like that git and won’t have to kiss him again. Gosh, I really hope they reward you for that. Kissing Malfoy...”
Then this boy from their year, Neville, came in and told me McGonagall wanted to see me. Hermione took me to her office and I went in. I told her all about my progress with Draco and she seemed very pleased. Until the Death Eaters really kicked him out though she told me to keep going and offered me a new disguise: Appearantly she had spoken to somebody in her ministery who had spoken to somebody else who had spoken to somebody in my ministery and they were indeed setting up a top secret office, (well in the Muggle world top secret) to deal with the threat towards the Muggle world that was Lord Voldemort. And as I was so brilliantly placed, the British government wanted me indeed to do research for them. So here was a career I had never thought of!
The next day Professor McGonagall took me to London, where I met a woman named Julia Carey, who was going to be head of the Department of Non-magical – Magical Co-operation. She told me what it was that they wanted of me, and it sounded easy enough. Basically they wanted someone who had profound knowledge about the magical world. Julia Carey was a witch herself but of muggle parentage and she would do the main work. They wanted me to continue to stay in Hogwarts as my sister was friends with Harry Potter, and Julia knew that it was possible that Voldemort might attack Harry again or something and then I was supposed to get in contact with her. Therefore she gave me an owl, a beautiful tawny one, which I named Rosie. They were also going to pay me. How cool was this! I had my own owl, I made more money than before and I was working for the government now.
The name is Granger. Helena Granger...
After Julia had told me all about my new job we returned to Hogwarts and on my bed was sitting a piece of paper folded into what looked like an origami bird. It was an invitation from Draco to have dinner with him the next evening and I of course accepted. What else would I have done?
I was curious where he would take me. I met him in the Entrance Hall, wearing a beautiful black dress which ended above my knees and tiny black shoes, cause I still couldn’t get over the wonderfulness of my eighteen years old legs. Hermione did a charm on my hair and it was shinyer and sleaker than it had ever been.
He was waiting for me by the foot of the stairs and I had a really big entrance. It was fantastic. He watched me walking down the marbel stairs and his face was all enchantment.
“You look stunning”, he said when I reached the bottom stair.
He was wearing black trousers and a white shirt and himself looked gorgeous.
“Thank you “, I said. “You look dashing yourself. Where are we going?”
I was actually quite nervous. I don’t know why though. after all this was all fake, wasn’t it? He took my hand and led me down a corridor to a painting with a lot of fruit.
“We’re going to the kitchen.” he said. “The house-elfes have everything ready for us.”
There was a small table for us in the kitchen (which was enourmous), set by the house elfes and very prettily so. We sat down opposite of each other. The table was round, the table cloth was spotless white and there was a single rose in the colour of a salmon. Candles were the only source of light. A few house-elfes hurried to the table and poured us drinks, champagne it was and I was impressed. I don’t like champagne much, but I still realise that it’s a special drink. I was still nervous and just to break the silence I mentioned this to Draco.
“A special drink for a special girl”, he said and toasted towards me. I took a sup. Then I went back to my favourite strategy: being straight forward.
“Are you bothered by me being older than you?”
“Good. Because it doesn’t mean anything. What are we having?”
We were having honey melon for starters. The meal was light, mediterranean style and I really enjoyed it. Draco kept me entertained with stories from his classes and everything that went wrong during today’s Transfiguration class. We were having a great time, laughing a lot and enjoying each other’s company. He really had the most intriguing eyes. The houselfes were very discreet, invisible when we didn’t need them, but there in the instant when our glasses needed to be refilled or our empty plates to be removed or anything like it.
“I’ve got great news”, I said when we were half way through the olives and bread. “I got news from the ministery. I’ve got the job. They are setting up a new office for Non- magical- Magical Co-operation, and I will be working for it. They want me to spend some time at Hogwarts to get to know the wizarding world really well. So that means I will spend more time here than I ever thought, a few months maybe. Isn’t that great?”
Draco was thinking. It was only a split second he was taking too long, but I noticed.
“That’s great”, he said. “We’ll have much time together.”
Maybe he realised what it meant now. Maybe he had really liked me, and thinking I was only going to stay for a couple of days allowed himself the fantasy of being with me. Now when it actually was possible to be with me he maybe realised what woul happen if his Death Eater pals found out about his secret affection for me.
I reached across the table and grabbed his hand.
“I’m really glad about this”, I said. “so I’ll get to spend more time with you.”
“Yes”, he said, smiling at me. “I was afraid you’d have to leave too soon. But it seems we really get to be together.”
It was a very nice evening altogether. We were just chatting for hours. The house-elfes kept our glasses full and brought us snacks and we talked and laughed and got on really great. He also told me a good bit about his father. He told me how he had never had any choice but to join the dark side and how he still was never good enough to live up to his father’s expectations.
“Since I went over to the other side I think he’s ashamed to admit he even has a son”, said Draco and I didn’t know what to believe and what not to. “I don’t know what he’ll do if he finds out about you”, he said and looked at me. His eyes looked thoroughly genuine when he said: “And what I feel about you.”
He walked me back to the Fat Lady later.
“Thank you, Draco”, said I. “I had a really beautiful evening.”
“Me too”, said he and kissed me. I heard the Fat Lady squeak with excitement.
“Good night”, said I and turning to the painting said, “Hinkypunk.”
“That’s the Gryffindor password?” said Draco sounding somewhat disappointed.
“Well, not much longer anyway”, said the Fat Lady indignantly and swung forwards. I laughed and gave Draco another kiss. I wanted to be convincing.
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