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Addicted by PreTeenWriter
Chapter 1 : Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2


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Addicted
Kelly Clarkson

A solitary figure stood in the never ending shadows before a man who she had pledged her entire life to. The man who controlled her completely, the man who had gotten her stuck in a hellhole of a prison.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around


He was ever powerful and she had joined him at the age of only seventeen. He had been pleased for such loyalty and had made her his most trusted. She had seen the most horrible things in the world, all for him. Her face, to those who saw it from her dark black hood, was calm and tranquil, often alive with a certain glow when she was performing a mission. But inside she was a wreck; a wreck from not being able to control a single thing in the war stricken world.

It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time


Her life had faded very slowly; the money, the men, the beauty; everything she had given up for this one man. And yet he controlled her, like a wooden puppet on strings, bending to his every desire as he twitched the strings to get her to do things. She had gotten stuck in a dark, rotting prison out over sea for twelve years with her husband, his brother and the son of a powerful man in the ministry. But it wasn’t her husband she was dedicated to; it was him.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me


He was cold, a villainous murderer with all the evil power in the world. He would go to any lengths to get what he wanted. And to try to achieve his goal, he had joined many followers such as her. She had joined just after her sister’s husband had joined. Her sister, however, had avoided the inside circle of darkness – she had supported from the sidelines and therefore her soul had been barely tarnished. She, however, was nothing like her flirty and fun past self. She had wallowed into the cliffs of despair and angst. But as everyday she served him, she regretted it more and more. It was obligatory to have a mark on her left forearm – a skull with a snake, black as her soul was now, forcing her to leave the sole thing she used to catch her husband’s wandering attention – skimpy clothes. But now that was gone. And so was the inch of security she had obtained from him.

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone


Her life was being taken away from her – from when she was 17, her innocence was gone. When she was just a bit older, she was caught for trying to bring him back. He had died, deserted her and she was desperate. He was the only thing she had lived for; and with that idea she had gone almost. When the Dementors captured her and tortured her for twelve years, the little sanity she had left had been robbed from her. The fact that he hadn’t bothered to go searching for her was heart wrenching; the fact that her sister hadn’t even cared where she was was only another stake into her broken and sinister heart, the stone cold and brittle thing that was the only thing inside her that lived.

And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now


He was her drug of choice; the method of addiction she used to wrench power and love and happiness from the life of other for the pain of her own. She had even thought about picking up the knife that lay on the ground beside her and drive it into her wrists like her sister had done. But her sister had had people who had cared about her, who had helped her turn back. Her life was now in a tumultuous spin and she couldn’t control it. That was what bothered her most.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me


Then he had come for her – rescued her, proclaimed her his most faithful; she remembered the glow that had set upon her corpse-like face as she fulfilled his missions with more enthusiasm then before. It was like a drink of water in the desert, a thirst quenching drink; and she wished for more, for more, so her tormented soul could suck the joy from others. She became even more anguished and kept begging him for more; he was now the only thing she could see in this nightmare.

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this


Then, he had slowly gained more powerful followers, shoving her to the side a bit more. She felt like screaming constantly and took her anger out on other, ready to sacrifice herself for him; anything, she just needed him to survive. She couldn’t remember a life before this, she couldn’t remember being young and clinging onto her mother to get away from the light. She could only remember him, nothing but him. It scared her almost, the power he had over her, the sheer control he had over the misery of her.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me


She had groped around helplessly in the dark, trying to find someone to help her out of this. Everyone had deserted her; her sister, her nephew, her husband, even he had. But what scared her more than the infinite darkness was the feeling she felt. It made her feel like a stranger in her own skin. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt for so long. It was strong and sucked even more life out of her; it was an agony, a want that couldn’t be fulfilled. What it was, she didn’t know. She couldn’t identify herself, lost in the anguish and dark. Tears splattered the bloodstained ground constantly from the addiction of this dominance.

It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me


This was her life; this was her sole purpose; this was Bellatrix Black.




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