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Spiraling Guilt by FlameWolf3182
Chapter 4 : A Life She Hasn't Lived
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 27

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When the memories occur,
Of a life you haven't lived.
Stay still, you will.
I've got a secret to hide,
And I've got a secret to hide...
~Coheed and Cambria: 2113

“Hey Zach, you might want to get yourself up, breakfast is soon and we have classes.” Zach opened his green eyes to see his new friend Ron pulling his shirt on and buttoning his black and maroon school robes on. “If you hurry I could wait, you probably don’t know how to get to the Great Hall yet.”

“Thanks Ron, is Harry coming too?” Zach always had friends, but never ones like Harry and Ron. He had only known them for less than a day, and already they knew almost everything about eachother. The two thought it was only proper to fill him in on everything about the school, themselves and of course the Golden Trio. He couldn’t help but notice they strayed away from bad mouthing Draco, Zach didn’t mind people bad mouthing his cousin since he did it practically on a daily basis.

“No I think he went to go pick up Hermione and Ginny went with him. They probably just got to the Head’s Tower. We could head that way if you want, but if you’re hungry we should just meet them at breakfast.” Zach could tell Ron just wanted food, he couldn’t deny he was hungry too so they just headed to the Great Hall without the others.

Draco got up from the spacious green couch when he heard loud knocking on the portrait. Aggravated from the interruption of his Potions homework due in only an hour Draco pushed the portrait open hard knocking back whoever was standing outside.

“Argh, what do you want Scarhead?” Draco growled seeing Harry rubbing his chest.

“Hermione, where is she?” Harry asked shortly.

“We all know you want the know-it-all Mudblood Potter, but I don’t have the time to get her and I’d rather not have more interruptions.” Draco went to close the portrait behind him but Harry grabbed onto it and pushed forcefully past him with Ginny quietly in tow.

“Hey ‘Mione you up yet?” Ginny shouted going up the stairs to her portrait leaving Harry in the Common Room. He learned not to go walking up any girl dormitory stairs already. The Lioness portrait swung open slowly and Hermione came out buttoning her white shirt up and trying to fix her messy hair into a hair tie but failing miserably.

“Oh forget it!” Hermione threw the tie onto the ground huffing loudly.

“Having a good morning so far?” Ginny asked sarcastically as they walked down the stairs.

“Oh the absolute greatest ever.”

“Finally, I can’t deal with Malfoy anymore. Can we go?” Harry said noticing the two girls walking down the stairs and hopped quickly from the armchair by the fire and practically ran to them.

“Nice hair Granger. Hope that quickie with the Weaselette was worth the look.” Draco sneered before they left. Hermione stopped in her tracks fingering her wand just in her robe pocket.

“Watch it ferret, don’t want that essay to, oh say, disappear?” She said before pointing her wand at the almost complete essay creating a flame that crumpled the paper in seconds.

“My bloody essay! That was eleven inches long Mudblood. You’re going to pay for that.” Draco pulled out his own wand and aimed it at Hermione, but she only laughed at him and walked out with Harry and Ginny beside her.

“I can’t believe you have to live with him all year Herms.” Harry said once they were down the corridor and descending down a set of stairs.

“Yeah, it must be hell. I wouldn’t blame you if one day he came into class with green scaly skin.” Ginny laughed along with the others at the thought of Draco finally being the conceited snake he truly is.

“That’s a nice thought Gin, but enough about Malfoy. How was Zach’s first night? You and Ron we’re nice to him right?” She asked sounding like an older sister or even his mother.

“Of course we were. Ron told him about third year though when you punch Malfoy right in his pretty little face. He found it more amusing than any of us, maybe even all of Hogwarts. I swear he isn’t related to Lucius Jr. in any way.”

“Looks like he’s related to Ron.” Hermione said looking down the Gryffindor table to see both Ron and Zach shoveling food into their mouths and then filling their plates right back up the next minute.

“Aw, has wittle Ronnie found a new fwiend?” Ginny asked in a baby voice.

“E eats oren ioo.” Ron sputtered with food leaking from his mouth.

“That’s disgusting Ron, honestly how many times have I told you?” Hermione said not wanting to deal with food flying towards her at the moment.

Ron swallowed the ball of food in his mouth hard, “I said ‘he eats more than I do.’ I never thought it was possible!” him and Zach started laughing but the others just found it disturbing that two Gryffindors were eating more than Crabbe and Goyle.

“So Hermione, has Draco been bothering you any?” Zach asked when he couldn’t eat anymore and the others were engaged in their own conversations.

“I can handle him, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve dealt with his immature attitude.” Just at that moment Hermione caught Draco’s eyes from across the hall. He was staring at her, but once he saw her looking back his stare turned mean and a smirk spread across his face.

“Just don’t take anything he does personal. I really don’t think he hates you, I mean, how could he?” Hermione went red at his comment and looked down at her food. She heard him laugh a little causing her to go even redder. “You’re smart, but you need to learn how to take a compliment instead of pretending no one said anything.”

“I do not pretend.” Hermione said getting defensive.

“I barely know you and I can already tell you aren’t used to getting compliments. You have Harry and Ron and they don’t even realize how perfect you are. They told me about all of your adventures, you seem like the brains of everything.”

“Well, I have school and -”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have a life Hermione.” Zach smiled at her and she couldn’t help but notice how perfect his smile was. There was no fakeness to it, just pure sincerity and a want to fix all problems.

“You’re nothing like what I would have imagined a member of Malfoy’s family to be like. If anything I would have thought you’d be over there plotting against us with him.” Hermione saw the food disappear from the table and the students begin to get up. “So what do you have first?”

“Umm, Potions with Slytherins. What about you?” Zach said shoving the already creased schedule into his pocket.

“Same! Harry and Ron are in that class too!” This was the best news Hermione had all morning, although she would be surrounded by Slytherins, atleast her two best friends and new friend would be there with her.

“Herms, Zach, come on so we can get seats together.” Ron shouted already half way out of the Great Hall. Hermione grabbed onto Zach’s hand and rushed through the crowd to catch Harry and Ron who were being pushed towards the entrance and couldn’t stand and wait for them.

“So who’s this teacher? Should I know anything about him before class?” Zach asked looking from Harry, then to Ron, and finally Hermione when neither answered. “That bad huh?”

“He’s the worse; Snape loves to take points from Gryffindor, especially Harry.” Hermione spoke up after neither of the boys wanted to start their ranting so early in the morning.

“If that’s it then I think I can deal with it.”

“Not even close. Snape finds it his daily game to pick apart everything wrong with the Gryffindor’s potions and is such a troll about essays. This reminds me. Hermione you have to help me write half an inch more for my essay.” Ron said.

“Half an inch?” Zach asked in disbelief. “He can’t be mad for that.”

“He can, and he will be. Ronald why do I find that my lecturing never sinks in. I swear you and Harry would be failing already this year without me.” Hermione sighed and snatched Ron’s paper away from him and quickly read it over.

“Where are all the Gryffindors? Hey ‘Mione are you sure we have Potions today.” Harry said stopping in the dungeon classroom doorway.

“Yes of course I’m sure Harry why wouldn’t we-” She looked up from Ron’s sloppy and rushed essay to see the entire room filled with black and green robes. There was not one Gryffindor there besides them. “Give me your schedules.” Hermione ordered and each boy handed theirs to her. She scanned over them carefully and looked back up the class horror struck. “We’re the only Gryffindors.” She announced and all the Slytherins in the room looked up and either smirked at them or snickered loudly. The four sat slowly down at the two front tables. Hermione sat with Harry and Ron placed his books down beside Zach who seemed to be the only one startled by the sudden crack of doors and in waltz a tall greasy man in all black robes. The man stared down his long sharp nose to the two pairs in front of him.

“Oh no, this won’t do one bit.” A menacing grin crept onto his face. “Potter! Get your books next to Parkinson. Weasley, you’re with Goyle.” Both Harry and Ron grumbled to themselves as they exchanged seats with Pansy and Goyle’s previous partners. Zach got stuck with Crabbe who was too occupied with the blot of maple syrup on his robes to notice the transition. But Hermione was well aware of what Snape was doing, she watched as the tall blonde plopped down next to her and threw his books onto the table.

“Unbelievable stuck with ruddy Granger.”

“I can hear you Malfoy.” Hermione stated with her head in her hands.

“You were supposed to.” Draco spat looking at her in utmost disrespect and hatred.

“Now that the partnering is more, suitable, we may begin with the lesson.” Snape walked behind his desk and sat gracefully with the flowing robe tucking beneath his chair. “Homework in one pile. Potion ingredients are on the board. Get to work!” all the students obediently shuffled into a line holding their parchments and placing them perfectly into a pile on the left of Snape’s desk and filed to the back of the room for their ingredients.

“Just a small stick up his arse.” Zach whispered to Hermione when he got up her in the back.

“Wait a couple more days and that small stick will turn into the bloody Titanic.” She whispered back and left him to get started on her potion.

“Take long enough Mudblood?” Draco said once she placed all the items onto their table.

“Maybe if you could get off your pompous rear than it wouldn’t have taken so long for me to make sure any of this didn’t dropped onto me.” Hermione retorted.

“It’s not like there would be any difference. I wouldn’t notice if newt spleen was running down your face. To think about it, there would be quite an improvement.” Draco said smirking and shaking the jar in her face.

“Just put the damn ingredients in the cauldron. And in the right order ferret boy.” Hermione growled keeping up with all his movements making sure he wasn’t screwing anything up since it would be her grade and Gryffindor’s points and no consequences for him.

Hermione found herself daydreaming while her and Draco were waiting for the potion to boil, but startled when she heard a loud explosion behind her.

“Bloody hell Goyle!” Ron shouted with soot covering his face and Goyle was just laughing at him not knowing he was just as dirty.

“Weasley, that’s 20 points from Gryffindor for disrupting my class. Now clean up and sit quietly for the rest of the class. Mr. Goyle please join Potter and Ms. Parkinson.”

“What are you laughing at Malfoy?” Hermione snapped hearing him laugh.

“I’ve always imagined what a Weasel looks like outside of captivity. Exactly how I thought it would look. Dirty, confused and completely alone.” Draco chuckled getting death glares from Hermione.

“Once your potions are finished, each student please pour a cup of the potion into the supplied goblets and drink it quickly. And do not forget the pillows to the right, place them behind you and sit on the floor next to your partners. Why is no one following directions? I said pillows and goblets get to it!” The entire class jumped up and grabbed the extra materials and quickly returned to their cauldrons. Hermione felt something hit her in the back and saw a white pillow flop onto the floor and Harry standing next to Zach who was trying to suppress his laughter but instead punched Harry’s arm when he saw him pointing a finger at him.

“Looks like you damn Gryffindors have turned my cousin already.” Draco mumbled looking up to see Harry and him joking around while Snape wasn’t watching. “Oy Potter, the flirting is supposed to be kept inside the Common Rooms. It makes the other students nauseous to watch you attempt to get into the pants of the guy population.” Hermione saw Harry lurch forward towards Draco but Zach grabbed his arm and whispered something to him while they both returned to their tables.

“Malfoy just drink the damn potion and shut it.” Hermione said shoving the goblet she had just filled with the smoking pink liquid. Hermione took her own goblet and quickly gulped down the surprisingly good tasting liquid down. She was reminded of strawberries dipped in a yogurt-like topping.

“Granger you have to get on the floor.” Draco said noticing her swaying on her chair with her pillow still on the table. She slipped off the chair and he jumped from his own and grabbed into her waist but only slowed her body down enough to make a soft thud when she reached the stone floor.

“What did you do to her Malfoy?” Ron yelled running over to his friend.

“Shut up Weasel I didn’t do anything, Granger just can’t follow directions right!” Draco yelled back just as loud in a defensive tone.

“Alright everyone back to your cauldrons, Miss Granger should be fine in a couple minutes.” Snape announced and slowly everyone retreated back to their tables or to the floor with a goblet in hand.

“Hermione! Come down for breakfast!” a voice called from somewhere distant. Hermione opened her eyes to a tiny room decorated randomly with furniture, photos and clothing strewn everywhere. “Hermione did you hear me? Breakfast is ready.” She looked up from the dark bed and saw a tall muscular man standing before her with long red hair and a proud smile. “Morning!” He said happily.

“Ron?” Hermione asked in doubt.

“Who else? I guess you’re still tired, but I think I finally got this whole making food with my hands thing down.” Ron said in the same happy tone.

“Oh, erm, I’ll be right down, sweetie?” She said regretting her tone sounding like a question. He just smiled brightly at her and left the room. After collecting her thoughts Hermione left the room and recognized her surroundings as the Burrow. She still hadn’t figured out why she was there, and why Ron suddenly looked so incredible.
‘Ah what did I just think?! Ron is not incredible! He’s Ron, goofy never-doing-his-homework Ron!’ Shaking her thoughts away Hermione walked into the kitchen and saw Fred, George, Ginny and Molly sitting around the table looking oddly at the food infront of them.

“What is this?” George asked spearing what Hermione assumed to be Ron’s attempt at French toast, though it turned out black and still smoking.

“I swear it’s good, just try it.” Ron said biting into his own piece and automatically spat it back out. “Ok, who’s up for mum cooking breakfast again today?” Everyone raised their hands and Ron walked over to Hermione trying to wipe the burnt crumbs from his face.

“Did you talk to your parents about the date yet?” He asked wrapping an arm around her waist.

“What date?” She asked moving uncomfortably in his grasp.

“The wedding! You’re really out of it this morning Herms.” Hermione looked at him perplexed.
‘Wedding? There is no way I’m marrying Ron! Hell I’d rather marry Harry!’


“Mione you’re going to be late to the prophet!” loud stomping came from outside a white wood door and in walked a medium height man with perfectly messy black hair and sparkling green eyes. “Good you’re up, I was hoping I could say bye before I leave.”

“Erm, morning Harry.” Hermione said trying to unnoticeably inch away from him when he sat close to her on the fluffy bed. She saw him lean into her and her eyes went wide as she rolled off the bed onto the floor. “Okay better get ready for work then!” She said quickly walking over to what she hoped was a closet.

“Don’t I get a goodbye kiss?” Harry said giving her puppy dog eyes. “I won’t be back for a couple days. The ministry is sending me to lead that raid in Italy remember?”

“Of course I remember, but, uh, you know, absence makes the heart grow stronger.” She said hoping her excuse would be good enough. But instead Harry stood and walked over to her wrapping his arms around her.
‘What is with my friends fondling me?’ Without warning Hermione could feel Harry’s lips crushed against hers. ‘No, not right at all!' Hermione was screaming inside her head when she felt him run his tongue along her bottom lip asking for entrance. ‘Anyone would be more appropriate than this!'


Hermione woke up in a comfortable sized bed with olive green sheets and a white comforter.
‘Again? Who’s it going to be this time Ginny?’ Hermione inwardly shuddered at the thought of dating her best girl friend. At that moment a shaggy black haired, tan man poked his head in the door and looked directly at her.

“Morning ‘Mi,” The man said brightly walking fully into the room. He was dressed in black cloth pajama pants and a semi tight white shirt.

“What time is it?” Hermione asked trying to get him to talk again without sounding odd.

“Almost time for you to become Mrs. Zachary Hollinger.” He smiled and hopped onto the bed with her.
‘Hmm, Zach aged well. Argh, stop thinking about friends this way. Though he is a bit better than Harry or Ron.’ “I thought maybe we could go over to the restaurant we had our first date at, Cassiopeia. We went there during the first trip to Hogsmeade. My stupid cousin pulled another stunt and I came to your rescue and whisked you away to the perfect Italian dinner, remember?” Zach said puffing out his chest and laughing once he was done.

“That sounds, um, great. When are we going?”
‘Cousin? Hmm he must be talking about Malfoy.’


Hermione woke for the fourth time in an enormous room and in a very spacious bed. She looked over and saw candle wax dripped onto the nightstand and assumed that’s where the vanilla rose scent was coming from. She sat up from the bed and looked around the light colored room and to the extravagant decorations from the large dresser to the small carvings in the crown molding. Hermione could feel a tingling chill on her back and realized she was sitting in a man’s bed that she was yet to discover, with no clothing on. She let out a quiet squeak grabbing onto the blankets and throwing them across her chest.

“Mmm you look better without it.” Hermione startled slightly from the voice and the hand she felt pulling her back down to the bed. Nervously she lay back down and looked into the ocean blue eyes that were covered by silky platinum hair. “Morning. I didn’t think you’d be up this early after last night.” Right when the man smirked Hermione knew it was Malfoy.
‘Why am I in bed, naked, with Malfoy, who is also completely unclothed? But Merlin where did all those muscles come from? What? Ah, where are these thoughts coming from?’ Before Hermione pulled her thoughts together, she froze while Draco traced lines on her cheek. He seemed like such a different person, his horribly cold eyes were now soft with his features that no longer held any angry creases.

“So are we going to stay in bed all day?” Hermione said feeling beyond uncomfortable being in this situation.

“Actually, yes.”
‘Whoa, Malfoy just smiled because of me. This is like the Twilight Zone.’ Draco grabbed onto her still naked body and pulled her under him, but Hermione went rigid staring up at him. She immediately melted into the feathery bed feeling his soft lips crash down onto hers. ‘I should hate this, alot.'

Author's Note: ok first off I just want to say THANK YOU!!!!!! to everyone who has been reviewing it means a lot hearing what my readers think.. so I hope this chapter is up to standard with what everyone was hoping / expecting! also if anyone was confused the potion made Hermione see all those things, not from hitting her head, and the potion will be explained in the next chapter.. and this story isn't a Hr/OC romance.. it will become a Hr/D soon, but there will be mixed feelings and stuff... so please don't get mad or anything if it comes off as a Hr/OC when u expected Hr/D action!

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