Chapter 1 : What I Would Do For You
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"Where do you think you're going?!" Draco yelled at her as she ran past him. She was storming through the common room they shared together, resisting the urge to destroy things, and trying to reach the stairs that led up to her dormitory, but she was unable to because Draco blocked her path.
"Why do you think you can just bloody run away from me?! You think that will bloody solve anything?!" He asked as he gazed down at her honey eyes.
The room around them was in alternating scarlet, gold, green and silver. The couch by the overly ornate fireplace had books strewn across it from the homework that had previously been being done. Suddenly homework seemed trivial. How could anyone possibly care about the future when the present was so horrible? She defiantly put her chin in the air and met his steady gaze with her own.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
When his eyes met hers she had to force down the feelings and memories that assaulted her. There were so many that she almost fell backwards as they grazed across her mind like the breeze of a hurricane. That's how she felt on the inside, the turmoil was like a storm raging in her blood. The calm before the storm had dissipated and here they were, standing before each other. But all those memories had to be forgotten. Had to be pushed aside.
Fifty thousand tears I've cried
Because they all meant nothing now.
"You made your choice Draco!" She spat at him with her hands clenched in fists at her side. She wasn't to blame for this. Her anger was righteous and well founded. How could he stand there before her and look at her with that expression?
He stepped back in shock. She still didn't know? Good. You'd think the all-mighty Hermione Granger would have already figured it all out, but she was blind. She was blind and did not see what she didn't want to see.
Deceiving. . .
She put her hands on her hips. What had happened to him? Why had he changed? She rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand. Her head hurt so much.
. . . and bleeding.
This wasn't the Draco she had fallen in love with.
The Draco who had held her and kissed her, right on this very floor. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of pain and emotion, her hand slowly dripping down her face and melting back to hang at her side.
The Draco who had held her hand as they walked down the hall and only squeezed it tighter when people stared and jeered. Which very many had. People just hadn't been ready to accept something like that. People still didn't accept it, but they hadn't cared. They had had each other . . .
and you still won't hear me.
The Draco who had given her the diamond ring on her delicate finger and had vowed to love her forever. She breathed in deeply and tried to push his words out of her mind. They made her weak and she needed strength, at least until she could run from the room, away from the horror she had found, and escape.
The Draco who had to sit with her at the Gryffindor table because the Slytherins had gotten so bad. Even at the Gryffindor table they were alone. Alone but together. Now there was no Together. It was only Alone.
What had happened to that Draco?
I'm going under
"You made promises to me Draco." She said softly but with just as much anger as she could muster. The flooding of memories had left her feeling suddenly weak. She held a hand out in front of her as if she could stop everything from happening between them with that simple gesture. As if she could stop the words before they reached his ears and as if she could stop his words too.
Don't want your hand this time . .
She looked up at him and a tear escaped her eye. He reached for her, to brush it away like he had done so many times before, but she recoiled, her mind screaming at him, and yet she somehow managed to stay silent.
I'll save myself
She thought she saw hurt in his eyes but he stepped to the side, leaving her path open, his head tilted towards the floor so she couldn't see his face, and she ran up the stairs to her dormitory without looking back. There could no longer be looking back. She could not dwell anymore on things in the past. The past was painful. The past was a lie. It had all been lies.
Maybe I'll wake for once
Draco turned back to the common room and put his fist through the first portrait he came to. Perhaps he could transfer the pain to the wall. He looked at the shattered face of the occupant. That was how he felt.
Not tormented daily . .
He fell back on the sofa, blood dripping between his fingers and stared at the fireplace, clenching and unclenching his fist while the blood streamed through his fingers and started remembering . . .
defeated by you. . .
"No!" She squeaked as she ran away from him to the other side of the couch, giggling at him.
"You think that," he said pointing to the couch with a raised eyebrow, "will stop me?" He concluded, further embellishing his point with a finger pointed at his chest.
"I don't know . . . will it?" She smiled coyly at him.
He smiled back but before she could have thought about running away again he had flipped the couch and pulled her under him. All in one fluid motion.
"O.k. . . you win." She said throwing her hands in the air in defeat.
He smiled gently at her and nuzzled her neck. The books they had opened in an attempt to actually work on homework lay forgotten around them.
"Mmm. . .Draco?" She whispered as he kissed her. He stopped and raised his head so he could look at her. She ran her hands up his arms as she looked in his eyes.
Just when I thought . . .
"I lo-. . . . What is that!?" She had reached his forearm and the skin had been different, not smooth and silky, but rough. He had flinched as she had grazed the area. She pushed him up by placing a hand on his chest and then backed away, a look of horror on her face.
I'd reached the bottom
There was silence for a long moment as they stared at each other. Wondering. What now? He sadly raised his sleeve and she covered her mouth with her hand. Shining against his beautiful pale skin, was the Dark Mark.
"No ... no . ..no..." She backed away in shock. He reached gently for her but she continued to back away in fear.
"Let me explain." He begged.
I'm dying again
"Explain!?" She hissed as she backed even further into the wall. "You're a Death Eater?" She fought the tears pricking her eyes.
I'm going under
"You're a Death Eater." She whispered to herself. She should have seen it coming. How could she have been so blind? So deceived . . . Why couldn't he find the words to begin to explain to her what he had done? How could she possibly understand?
"You. . ." She said as she moved closer and closer to the portrait hole. To an escape. He couldn't let her leave, then she'd never listen. He'd never be able to tell her. He'd never be able to explain why. It would be the absolute end of everything.
Drowning in you
"You made me believe you loved me." She hissed at him, almost blinded by her tears.
I'm falling forever >
She took his silence as an answer and slammed the portrait behind her as she left.
I've got to break through
He lifted his head as the portrait swung shut behind her with a loud slam.
What had he done. . .
I'm going under
As he relived his nightmares and watched the blood trickling through the fingers of his clenched fist, He noticed the snake ring on his middle finger, now red with his own blood, and his mind went back in time again.
Blurring . . .
He was at his father's mansion. Or at least the dungeons of his father's mansion.
and stirring . . .
His hair hung in his eyes and he could taste the dirt and blood in his mouth. He was shackled to the wall by thick silver chains that sapped away at his strength and his spirit. MAgical chains that bound him inside his body. Trapped his mind in fear.
The truth and the lies
He heard footsteps coming down the hall and slowly approaching his cell. He would not lift his head. He knew who it was.
So I don't know what's real . .
When he heard the door pushed open he found he couldn't find the strength to raise his head anyway, so he remained gazing at the cold stones before him, at the dirt ground between them and the occasional mouse that would skitter by.
. . . and what's not.
The footsteps quickly became louder as they approached him and then silent as whomever had entered stopped next to him.
Does he feel any remorse for what he's done to me? He wondered. Any pain or love what-so-ever when he looks at me? . . . I doubt it.
Without warning a boot connected with his side. He strained against the chains that bound him and closed his eyes against the pain. He imagined the hands of delicate brunette with honey eyes running her hands over the aching parts of his body.
The thoughts in my head
And it soothed him.
He looked up and was assaulted by the reflection of his own image.
"Lucius." He growled at his father.
"You are wanted up stairs." Came the cold reply. Lucius waved his wand and the heavy chains fell from Draco's body. It was strange how the weight had been lifted, but he felt no lighter.
He followed his father up the familiar stairs and entered the library behind him.
"Crucio." A voice said as soon as he entered the room and fingers clawed at his neck. His bones twisted and crunched. His chest caved in. His ribs cracked, fractured and broke.
But the pain was nothing, until her image started to fade from his mind.
He panicked. He grasped at every small thing he could. He tried to remember the way her hair dusted her face in the wind when they walked by the quidditch pitch and the way she laughed when he fell down in the hallway and scattered both of their belongings everywhere. She had warned him he couldn't carry her books and his but he didn't listen. He tried to remember how she would smell like flowers, even at the end of the day when they were sitting by the fireplace doing their homework.
But he couldn't. They didn't know it, but that was the cruelest punishment he could be given. They had stolen everything from him. they had stolen her.
The counter curse was muttered and he was left in a gasping heap on his back in the middle of the floor. Before he could fully compose himself he was grabbed roughly and forced to stand. He was surrounded and forty Death Eaters' wands were pointed at him.
So I can't trust . . .
In the center of the room the Dark Lord stared menacingly at him. Draco wasn't surprised that he was here, in fact he found the presence of the man to be light compared to what he knew was coming. He knew why he was here. He knew why he had been brought here . . . lured away from Hermione.
"Malfoy Junior." The Dark Lord drawled to the seventeen year old on his knees before him. "Stand like a man." He told the young blonde.
Draco spat on the ground in front of the Dark Lord. "I am more man than you will ever be."
I'm dying again
The Dark Lord roared with laughter. "Are you? Then join me."
Draco didn't have to think about his response. "Never." He hissed as the image of a petite brunette flared up in his mind.
The Death Eaters rippled with laughter and Voldemort held up a hand to silence them. "I think I could persuade you otherwise." he said.
I'm going under
He flicked his wand and images started to flash across Draco's mind.
Drowning in you
'It's only a fake image.' He tried to keep his mind away from watching. 'It's not real. She's not in danger.' But he could not keep himself from watching.
She was running. Running through the woods. He could feel her fear. The image flashed and she was surrounded.
"Hermione!" Draco cried out as he watched in horror. All twenty or so Death Eaters raised their wands at the small girl in the center.
I'm falling forever
"No!" Draco's eyes were dripping with tears as a blinding green light flashed and twenty Avadas hit her from every direction. Her body was lifted from the ground as if it were a feather that many winds were assaulting from all sides. She twisted this way and that before falling unceremoniously to the ground with a sickening crunch.
I've got to break through
He hung his head in silence as the images left his mind.
He had made his decision. What else could he do?
He raised his eyes directly to the Dark Lord's. "What must I do." He said quietly.
He was jarred back to the present by a gentle clearing of throat. He raised his head and his eyes met hers.
Why was she back?
He lowered his head again and cast his eyes back to the floor. Whatever she was going to say, it was going to hurt and he braced himself for the blows.
So go on and scream . . .
But harsh words never came. Instead, he felt his bloody hand gently being held.
Scream at me . ..
His head shot up. She was sitting next to him on the couch. She was looking at their intertwined hands and the sticky redness that was streaming from between them.
. . . I'm so far away . .
"Why did you do it?" She asked quietly. He looked away. Would she believe him? Did it even matter if she did? It had been done and he wouldn't go back and undo it even if that opportunity had arisen. He had saved her. She was safe and that was all that mattered.
"To save you." He said in a whisper that was almost inaudible. "Why did you come back?"
She was silent for a moment. "I couldn't walk away." She admitted quietly. "I couldn't . .. I couldn't even get to the end of the hall." She smiled softly and met his eyes again, the smile slowly fading away at the stark anguish in his eyes.
He was so alone.
I've got to breathe. . .
"You became a Death Eater. . . to save me?" She asked in wonder.
He looked down at the floor and she knelt so that he was looking at her.
"Take me to your master Draco."
He stood quickly, pulling her up with him.
"What!? Are you crazy?" He asked. He had taken the Dark Mark to save her and now she wanted right into the man's clutches?! "Hermione you can't . . I can't . . .No. . . Why? Are you insane!? Do you want to be killed?!"
"No." She placing a hand on the side of his face. "I'm going to become a Death Eater too." Small tears were slowly making their way down her cheeks.
"What?" He whispered in shock. "Why would you do that?"
"To save you." She whispered back.