Sirius, Edward, Remus, Peter and Albus hadn’t seen any signs of Lily and James since he dragged her out of potions class this morning. The five were beginning to grow concerned and grabbing food from the Great Halls headed up to the Albus’ dormitory room. They ate in silence as they all were feeling quite guilty for what they had done to the red-head.
The portrait hole burst open violently causing them all to jump as James carried Lily over her shoulder as she kicked and tried to scream, but no sound was coming from her mouth as her lips moved.
“Stop kicking you annoying spiteful cow,” James yelled at her as one of her legs broke free of his grasp and just missed kicking him in a highly sensitive area.
James motioned for them to move off the couch, and once they did he threw her roughly onto the fluffy pillows. No one was prepared when she immediately lunged at James knocking him to the ground and retrieved her wand from his pocket. With a quick flick at her own throat she was able to be heard once more.
“You’re an arrogant imbecile Potter with absolutely nothing to back it up. You know that?” Lily shrieked at him. “You are like a bloody caveman, bullying a woman in an attempt to get her to go out with you. Immature dolt!”
“Give me one good reason why you won’t go out with me,” he asked bitterly.
“You stupid self-centered idiot, has it ever occurred to you that I like someone else and I’ve been hoping HE would ask me out?” she snapped. “Believe it or not I too have had my eye on someone for the better portion of two years but I’m just not stupid enough to make it obvious by stalking them.”
After an uncomfortable pause, where Sirius and the others watched in shock, she continued. “Face facts Potter, YOU AREN’T MY TYPE! And if you even remotely were before, after the rubbish you pulled having the idiot squad conveniently lock us in the Astronomy Tower together last night and then taking our clothes …” she shuddered emotionally then added, “I’ve never been more humiliated and disappointed in all my life. You are lucky I don’t hex you and your wandering paws into oblivion. Don’t you ever speak to me again and if you ever lay so much as a finger on me Potter, I will do my best impression of a muggle butcher and cut whatever you used off. Do I make myself clear?”
They all looked at the pale, almost cowering James who was struggling to breathe as he gasped, “But Lily, I really had nothing to do with it.”
They watched as Lily kneed James’ groin and sent him to the ground in agony calling him a liar. Sirius grabbed her arm and turned her to look at his panic stricken face and anxiously said, “He’s telling the truth Lily, it wasn’t his idea, it was mine.”
“I’m not stupid you know, I know that James is the leader of your special education group,” Lily told him with tears in her eyes as she turned around and kicked James in the backside as he was curled up on the floor protecting his ability to reproduce.
“Lily please, it really was my fault,” Sirius begged as he grabbed her by the arms. He could see the sadness in her glassy eyes.
“I have never been so disappointed in all my life with anyone,” Lily said as her tears came.
“Lily please,” pleaded James from the ground, causing her to turn around and tell him to shut his mouth as she kicked him in the backside once more.
“I’m not disappointed in you Potter. From the likes of you I expect vile infractions like the ones committed,” she yelled. “I’m disappointed in myself because I was stupid enough to waste over almost two years of my life, hoping that Black would finally look at me the way he looked at the others girls. I’m an idiot Potter because every time you stalked me and asked me out I was praying it was him. That is why I never went out with you Potter, so now you know the bloody truth. So stay the hell away from me.” And she kicked his backside once more as she stormed out of the room in tears.
Sirius stood white as sheet, stunned by Lily’s words. No one was prepared when James got to his feet and lunged at his best friend, yelling at him that he was a back-stabbing traitor. Remus and Peter managed to pull James off Sirius before any real damage could be done. They had never seen James so incensed before, as his hazel eyes shot daggers at his former best friend.
“All these years, you knew that I was interested in Lily,” James seethed, “Yet you quietly flirted with her just to screw me, didn’t you Black?” Before Sirius could reply, James yelled, “Didn’t you?!”
“No James, I wouldn’t do that to you,” a slightly dazed Sirius told him. “I wanted nothing more than you and Lily together. You’ve got to believe me,” he pleaded.
“Rubbish,” he snapped at his friend as Remus and Peter forced him back down when he tried to lunge at Sirius once again. “All these years you wanted Lily too and last night you saw your opportunity to take her. Well it didn’t work, so you sacrificed your best friend. Well in the end I won, because now she hates you as much as she hates me, so neither of us can have her.”
“No James,” Sirius pleaded, “it’s not like that. I would never.”
“Go to hell Black,” James said as he got to his feet, shook off Remus and Peter’s holds on him and left through the portrait hole.
“Bloody hell, what have I done?” Sirius said as he plopped himself down on the couch with his hands in his face as the others were
Albus sat next to him, the same troubled look on his young face as he corrected his friend, “What have WE done?”
“Albus and I will find Lily,” Edward told them heading towards the door. “Remus, you seem like the more reasonable chap, why don’t you take Peter and try to find James and calm him down. Sirius, you just stay here because if you stumble upon either James or Lily I can’t guarantee your safety.”
James entered the Room of Requirements, closing the door behind him and with a flick of his wand, magically sealed it. He turned to look at the red-head, sitting on the couch wearing the same mischievous grin on her face and quickly hopped over the back of it and sat next to her.
After a quick kiss, he said, “I feel so evil.”
“Did you see the look on their faces?” Lily asked with a twinge of guilt mixed in with her giddiness. “We are evil.”
“Poor Sirius,” James told her as he wrapped his arm around her. “Hell, I actually feel bad about all this.”
“I do too,” Lily told him quietly “but I think we should keep going until I feel warm once again. Certain parts of me still feel frost bitten.”
“I’d offer to warm them up but you would hex me,” he told her grinning mischievously.
Lily blushed at his words and said, “Remind me again why I like you?”
“Because according to the head girl in our time, I’m perfect,” he told her as they both turned spectacular shades of crimson.
“You are dreadful Potter,” she told him as she covered her flushed face with embarrassment.
“I know,” he replied pulling her to him and lightly kissing the top of her head. “Is phase two ready?”
“Quite,” she replied.
Albus and Edward entered transfiguration class an hour later, finding James sitting in the furthest rear corner of the classroom. Both boys go sit with him, as Sirius, Peter and Remus enter a few moments later. With a single glare from James, the three sit as far away from his as empty seating would allow.
Professor Langano entered the classroom from her office, accompanied by both Lily and a tall, leggy blonde in her school uniform accented by a blue and bronze tie, the colors of Ravenclaw House. They watch as the Ravenclaw hands the professor a silver chain, the one on which the boys know hangs the time turner that brought them to this here.
Lily and the blonde sit at the only vacant table together, placing them between the tables containing the divided Marauders.
“So what do you think Roxanne, do you think you can help me get home?” they heard Lily whisper to the blonde.
“I’ll write my father, he’s an unspeakable,” she whispered in a distinct Scottish accent. “So what is it like where you are from? I imagine it must be quite spectacular.”
“Not much different here at the school than it is now,” Lily replied quietly. “Boys are the same now as they are then … IDIOTS.”
Roxanne couldn’t help herself she giggled aloud, causing the entire class to look at the two girls.
“Miss Evans, do you have something to share with the class?” Professor Langano asked.
“Just that boys are idiots Professor, nothing more,” Lily told her casually causing all the girls to laugh.
“Well Miss Evans, allow me to dispel that myth,” she told her. “At this school our best transfiguration student sits in this very class. Perhaps the two of you can compete, a battle of the genders if you will.”
“My strong suits are potions and charms Professor,” Lily told her with a nervous laugh, “but I’ll give it m best try.”
“Mister Dumbledore,” the Professor called with a smile, “would you agree to participate in our informal competition?”
Albus looked into the professors eyes and there was no missing the mischief held in the bright orbs. Reluctantly he rose, gave Lily his hand and escorted her to the front of the classroom.
“Each of you stand on one side of the classroom with wands at the ready,” the professor told them as the amused murmurings spread through the class. “On the count of three, the first one to transfigure the other into a rabbit wins.”
Young Dumbledore looked confident standing before the class, while Lily had an odd twinkle in her eyes that grew slightly brighter when they met James’ ever so briefly.
“One … Two … and THREE!” exclaimed the professor.
Everyone was in shock, Dumbledore was fast, but Lily was just a hair faster, but rather than transfigure him into a rabbit he now stood stark naked before the class as the girls cheered and made lewd comments.
“Miss Evans!” the professor snaps half-heartedly as she flicked her wand at Dumbledore and covered his most private areas with a miniature tobacco leaf.
“Turn about is fair play after all,” Lily replies innocently. “Oh and I think you need a bigger tobacco leaf, either that or young Mister Dumbledore is quite happy to see us.”
“Detention Miss Evans, tonight,” the professor tells her as she transfigures the tobacco leaf back into Albus’ clothes. “Miss Evans, Mister Dumbledore a word if you would. This way,” she told them as she escorted them both to her office.
“Lily, you raid the kitchen for popcorn and I’ll bring the pensive. It will be quite an eye pleasing detention,” the professor told her with a smirk. “Albus, as always, thank you for the show. My word you are perfect. Playing quidditch agrees with you” as she spanks him on the backside.
Dumbledore walked back to his seat, blushing profusely and as he passes tables where female students are seated his backside gets pinched by his many, new adoring fans.
“Next time we play each other in Quidditch Albus, now that I know what lies under those robes, I might just make sure I brush against you a few times,” the Ravenclaw Roxanne Mochrie told him with a mischievous grin. Her eyes met James momentarily, then looked at Albus appraisingly and muttered, “Perfect.”
Albus took his seat and quickly buried his head in his arms praying his cheeks would return to their normal color. When the cat calls continued, Edward stood up and said, “Ladies, please behave. This is a classroom and as such we must maintain a sense of decorum.”
“Quiet down Lefty,” Roxanne told him with amusement, “Everyone has seen you starkers and while it is a rather impressive sight, why take what has been shared many times over when we can have fresh meat and break them in using their own special techniques.”
“Lefty?” questioned Edward in confusion as his cheeks flushed.
Roxanne laughed so hard she snorted, before finally saying, “Next time you bathe you will figure it out.”
Everyone laughed as Edward blushed profusely; then Roxanne added, “Oh and note to both of you, GET SOME BLOODY SUN!”
Yes, James and Lily are being very naughty to Sirius, but alas, HE DESERVES IT!
My motto for this chapter and the upcoming one is: NAKED IS AS NAKED DOES! I feel so evil.
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