“No—she’s more furious than ever!” James ran a hand through his hair. “What am I going to do? Now thanks to you, I also have an insane blonde following behind me every step calling me ‘darling’ and ‘Jamesie-poo’!”
Sirius doubled over with laughter. The four boys were standing outside the boys bathroom again where James had just reemerged from hiding. This time, it was mostly out of fear that Anna would find him and try to hug him more—or worse.
“It’s not funny! It’s really not funny!” James insisted.. but he was laughing too, as was Remus. Peter was snickering but you could only really see his shoulders moving and no sound.
“What am I going to do?” James continued.
“Plan B of course—it never fails!”
“Where have we heard that before..” Remus said sarcastically.
“What is plan B? James asked.
“You read her diary!”
“WHAT? I can’t do that!” James shook his head. “ Besides, we don’t even know if she HAS a diary!”
“Don’t be dense—all girls have diaries.. and someone like Lily Evans would definitely have one! She loves books, of course she loves writing and all that nonsense..”
“Books aren’t nonsense simply because you don’t read them,” Remus objected.
Sirius ignored him.
“How are we going to get it anyway?”
“Well, that is where Peter comes in..”
Peter’s ears perked up at the sound of his name. “It is?”
“Yes my little worm-tailed friend.. you get to steal it for us.”
“S-s-steal it?”
“Yes.. you transform.. find the book for us—tell us where it is.. and I can take it from there.”
“I don’t know about this, Padfoot—“ James rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly.
“Don’t worry, Prongs—this will work! We just find out if she likes you or not and all our problems will be solved!”
“Where is he? He’s been gone nearly an hour!” James hissed as they sat around a table in the library awaiting Peter’s return from Lily’s room.
“Calm down, Prongs, he’ll be here!” Sirius assured him. As if on cue a large garden rat scuttled across the floor and instantaneously turned into a ratty looking teenage boy behind one of the shelves. He poked his head around the corner before joining the other boys.
“Took you long enough!” James complained. Peter shrunk back.
“Well—I’m sorry—I really didn’t mean to.. I mean..”
“Did you find it, Peter?” Remus asked curiously, cutting him off.
“Yeah, did you?” James was anxious now.
“It took a while—but—“
“Did you or didn’t you, Wormtail?!” Sirius quizzed. The librarian looked fiercely in their direction causing them all to speak in hushed voices.
“I did.. it’s in the very bottom right corner of her trunk.” Peter whispered.
All three remaining boys sighed in relief.
“Now what?” James asked quietly.
“Now.. Julia.” Sirius grinned.
“Who?” the others asked together.
“Julia Gates—black hair, blue eyes..” He began.
“Reads a lot.. very intelligent girl..” Remus said dreamily. No one noticed.
“Friend of Lily’s?” James raised an eyebrow hopefully.
“Bingo,” Sirius winked. “I’m dating her this week just for you, Prongs!”
“WHAT?” Remus’s ears turned red when everyone turned to look at him—the librarian narrowed her eyes in their direction once more. “I mean.. isn’t that a little… well.. I mean.. do you really think you should date someone to use them like that?” He whispered.
“Well of course not, Moony! But this is an emergency! Besides, she’s agreed to get the diary for us for one night only! I have to go tell her we found it… excuse me, she should be somewhere in here as we speak.”
Hardly fifteen minutes later, a smiling girl with raven-colored hair swept towards the table with Sirius smiling. She caught sight of Remus and blushed.
“Hello, Remus.”
“Hi, Julia..” He was staring at her and she dropped her eyes and started drawing circles on the floor with her foot. Sirius was oblivious.
“Here it is—“ he held up a red and gold booklet with the Gryffindor house emblem on the cover and her name in shiny gold letters ‘Lily Evans’. “It’s all yours—but read it quick!”
James nodded. “Umm.. I’ll be back in a little while.” With that he moved away from the others and tucked himself away at one of the tables where no one would see him hunched over the text. Taking a deep breath and looking around him again he slowly unfastened the clip sealing the book and opened to the first page.
It was blank.
Great, James thought, it’s blank! He was about to shut the book again when a thought occurred to him. What if it’s a spell?
Of course… he answered himself. Why not? She’s a brilliant witch.. it seems just like something she would do…
“But what spell?” He thought out loud. At the sound of his voice, words spilled across the page. Not the ones he had been hoping for, however.
[Password?] the page asked.
Drat her! Of course it’s bewitched! James sighed. Okay, Potter, get a grip. What would she use for a password? He felt around in his robes for a quill and started writing.
[Books]
The word vanished. Nothing happened. “Bah!” James ran a hand through his hair. “Okay.. something deeper than that..”
[Hogwarts]
[Prefect]
[Headgirl]
Nothing. Nothing. And nothing. Every word he wrote disappeared. He sighed and was nearly ready to give up, when something possessed him to do the unthinkable.
[James Potter]
He didn’t know why he did it. He knew it wouldn’t be the password. He just needed to write it there on the page beside ‘Password’ to humor the injustice of fate itself. He never expected anything to happen.
But it did.
The whole page was wiped clean and new words began pouring out.
[September 2nd,
I’m back at Hogwarts again. I saw James today. The prat. He thinks he’s so macho and important. He keeps ruffling that wild hair of his and the girls fall all over the place like he’s some kind of god. I don’t know what they see in him. He’s a complete slob.. his robes are never straight and frankly, I don’t see how THAT happened.. he’s so conceited you would think he would be constantly trying to straighten himself up. I wish he would leave me alone
Lily.]
James gulped. This wasn’t turning out well at all. He flipped forward a few more pages.
[September 16th,
James is in all my classes. I can’t believe my rotten luck. Now there’s no escaping his arrogant vanity! I still don’t know why he won’t give up on talking to me. I was talking to my friend Emma today and she says that the Ravenclaw beater Alan Landon likes me. He’s not so bad to look at. Unlike Potter. Why WON’T he fix his hair!
Lily.]
He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously before flipping forward looking for the latest entry. He stopped near the end when a passage caught his eye.
[December 12th,
I ran into James Potter again today. He still refuses to take no for an answer. He actually had the nerve to ask me to Hogsmeade this weekend! I turned him down. He’s been jinxing people again—WHY does he have to do that! I hate it when people try to bring others down and I detest bullying and that is all James seems to do. There is not a single selfless bone in his whole entire body!! But what a body it is…
Lily.]
He stared at the last line for a very long time before turning the page. His brain was screaming that he should stop and put the book down but something inside of him just wouldn’t let him stop. Not after reading THAT. The next entry was written just the day before…
[December 13th,
Potter. The imbecile. He has no moral fiber and no conscience. Today in the Great Hall he had the nerve to kiss some—floosie!-- right in front of everyone and make a complete scene! It makes me sick! I can’t believe he would be that.. that.. IMPOSSIBLE! To top it all off he even left the hall holding her hand and went off to do Merlin-knows-what. I lost my appetite and left to go to the Library and GUESS who came flying around the corner and knocked me over? That’s right. James Potter. My books went everywhere and my Transfiguration notes were scattered everywhere and are now hopelessly out of order! I wanted to hit him. Or kiss him. I think I could have kissed him when he apologized. I wanted to horribly. But I couldn’t. I won’t be fooled! He is nothing but a conceited prat and a bully… and plus he has a girlfriend now. I won’t like him. I don’t like him!
Oh who am I kidding? I love him.
Lily.]
James’s breath was caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“So what’s this you’re reading, Potter. Something inappropriate no doubt—“ Lily snatched up the book before he could stop her. He jumped to his feet and tried to grab it from her but she hid it behind her back.
“Give it back to me, Evans.” She shook her head and kept moving away from him looking smug.
“Why? What’s so important? I just want to see the cover—“ She had backed into a shelf by now and surprised, paused just long enough for James to catch her wrist. She tried to look at the book but James continued to hold her wrist so that the book remained as she had held it—behind her back.
“No. I mean, it’s personal.” James insisted. Well it’s not exactly a lie, he thought.
“Oh I see.. macho Potter keeps a diary, does he?” Lily grinned. James pressed closer and made another grab for the book but Lily maneuvered it away from him and kept it behind her back. James was intensely aware of how close her face was to his.
”I think I could have kissed him..” her diary’s words—her words—came back to him. There she was. Looking at him. Watching his reaction. His hands still on her wrists and the book was behind her. He leaned closer to her.
“Lily—“
“James..” she leaned to meet him. The next thing James was aware of was the warmth of her lips on his. Lily dropped the book and ran her hands through his hair as the kiss deepened. Finally James stopped and drew back.
“Lily, I—“ He expected his eyes to meet hers. But instead he found her looking at the floor near his feet. His eyes fell to where her stare was directed. Her diary was lying open on the floor, the cover facing up, her name twinkling in gold unmistakably.
“Oh my God..” she breathed.
“No, Lily, look, I can explain—“
“Don’t even try, Potter—get away from me!” She pushed him aside and snatched the book from its place on the floor and made to move past him.
“Lily, please, I couldn’t help it, Lily, I’m an idiot, forgive me!” James fell to his knees pleading. “I’ll do anything, please, I’m sorry!” She stopped but didn’t look down at him. Tears were shining in her eyes.
“So am I, James.” The words were barely above a whisper. She turned her eyes to his. “Sorry I believed you were ever going to change.”
With that she strode past him and disappeared.
James crumpled to the floor and pressed his forehead to the cold it offered, his hand curling into a fist.
Why did I do it? Why? A voice said in his head.
“Prongs—where are you?” Another voice hissed. It was Sirius.
Sirius? Suddenly everything came flooding back. I’ll kill him.
“Prongs? Oh there you are! Find anything interesting?”
James stood to his feet. “She found me.”
“Who did? The librarian?” Sirius looked behind him.
“Evans.”
“What? She was here?”
“Oh.. oh yes she was,” James chuckled painfully. “Isn’t that funny? Isn’t that just ODD, Sirius? You could have at least warned me, don’t you think? You were sitting by the door after all, and I KNOW you saw her come in, didn’t you? Am I right?” James drew himself up to his full height and glared at his friend.
Sirius laughed nervously, “Now, see reason, James.. you were gone forever.. I thought you would have had sense enough to hide the thing when she came up if you hadn’t finished reading it already—“
“Oh I tried, believe you me—but she found it anyway. Whose idea was it that I read the blasted book in the first place?”
“Well—“
“It was YOURS!” James cried, taking a step towards him with wide eyes.
“Prongs, be sensible, she’s just a girl, she’s just a—EEH!” James had yanked him by the collar of his robes.
“She’s not JUST a girl.. she’s the girl I love, and now I’ve ruined any chance I ever had with her!”
“Listen to yourself—YOU did it. I never told you to read that book.. I only suggested!” Sirius said hurriedly.
“Let him go, Prongs,” Remus suddenly stepped up to them. “This is not the way to handle this situation.. you may still stand a chance with Lily.. we just all have to put our heads together and find a new way to get her back—and Sirius’s head would be a valuable one to have around.”
Sirius nodded vigorously. “He’s right!”
James sighed and finally released him.
“I’m sorry, Padfoot. Everything just went so wrong…”
“What happened?”
“Well.. she came up behind me and grabbed the book before I had a chance to react, I kissed her, she looked at the book, and left.”
“Whoah whoah whoah—back up—you KISSED her? Did she kiss back?”
James nodded.
Sirius laughed. “Then don’t you get it? We still have hope yet! She LIKES you!”
“She loves me.”
“What? Well I doubt it goes THAT far—“ Sirius raised an eyebrow.
“No—I read it in her diary.”
“Ah ha! Europa!”
“You mean ‘Eureka’,” Remus corrected.
“Whatever!” Sirius slapped James on the back. “She’s as good as yours—I have the perfect plan this time.. no way this could go wrong—“
Remus and James exchanged glances.
“Now hear me out..” Sirius began, before divulging his newest plan to gain the love of a girl.
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