A/N: I know I took a long time to update and I’m really sorry. I was going through some hard times, and I had a few personal problems, so I wasn’t in the best mood to write fanfiction. I apologise for that, and I know that many of my readers gave up hope on this fic by now, but thanks to the ones who are actually reading this and were wiling to wait so long for an update. I also want to apologise for any mistakes you may find, but I couldn’t send this chapter to my beta reader. (By the way, Sam, if you’re reading this, I can’t send you e-mails, they keep coming back… try to e-mail me so we can figure this out.)
I also realised that many of you keep asking what my natural language is, so just for the record, I’m from Portugal, so my natural language is Portuguese :)
Chapter 8- I’m going to say Hi. Then I’m going to kiss him again.
September 10th, sitting in a garden’s bench, a few blocks from Grimmauld Place, 06:30pm
Current mood: Anxious. And I mean really anxious.
Number of times I thought of getting rid of my muggle relationship’s book:12
I know what you’re wondering…. What is a beautiful, gorgeous and desirable woman doing sitting on a bench all by herself for the past half hour, right? We have an Order meeting tonight at Grimmauld Place.
And you know what this means right? I’ll have to see him.
The charming, sweet, owner of that breath-taking smile, werewolf, with whom I am definitely NOT in love with.
Yeah, it took a whole week to figure that one out, but I can assure you dear notebook that I am, by no means in love with that man.
I am not in love with Remus Lupin.
I am NOT in love with Remus Lupin.
I am NOT in love with REMUS LUPIN!!!
Bummer, it’s not working… I read in a muggle book that if you repeat the same thing over and over again you convince yourself that it’s true… Apparently it doesn’t work…
Well, being in love isn’t as bad as it seems right? I mean, I really like that tickling feeling in my stomach when I think of Remus… and when I think about the almost-kis… I mean, the incident, I get all those chills…
Do you think that he felt the same thing I did when we were… well, you know? He didn’t step back… and he was the one that gave the first step, right?
Argh, this is driving me insane!!!
But he is so sweet… and he worries about me… Yeah, he worries so much he even skips Order meetings to come in my rescue…
Thinking again, maybe he did it because he thought I wasn’t able to take care of myself! Oh Merlin, he thinks I’m an incapable and completely useless Auror!
Ok, calm down Tonks… you just have to stick to the original plan… avoid being alone with him at all costs. And if he talks to you, just… just stare at his neck… don’t you dare to look into those beautiful grey eyes Nymphadora Tonks!
Ok… I’m going to Grimmauld Place. Wish me luck.
Grimmauld Place, number 12, sitting in my bed
Remus J. Lupin is probably the most wonderful man in the whole world.
No, scratch that…
Remus J. Lupin is DEFINETELY the most wonderful man in the whole world.
I arrived to Grimmauld Place just in time for the meeting. Everyone was there, except for the kids. I miss the kids. Especially Ginny. And Hermione. And I miss Harry too. Well, now that I think of I also miss Ron… well, that’s not the point. Guess who sat in front of me at the table?
during Order meeting
Remus (while sitting down in front of me): Good evening everyone
Me (raising my eyes and meeting his beautiful grey ones… Stare to the neck Tonks, STARE TO THE NECK!): Hi.
Stupid Tonks. Last time you saw this man you tried to kiss him, and all you can think of to say is Hi? Just pay attention to the meeting and pretend he isn’t there.
Dumbledore: Now that everyone is here let’s start our meeting. Remus, I believe you have a report for us?
All eyes turned to Remus. Bummer… just stare to the neck, Tonks, stare to the neck! He does have a sexy neck by the way…
Soon the meeting was over. And the staring-at-the-neck plan wasn’t very effective… without realising I caught myself exchanging glances with Remus every other minute.
In case you didn’t understand me correctly I’ll explain better, we were exchanging glances, which means he was looking at me too!
We smiled at each other a couple of times and every time I felt my heart melting.
After the meeting I was chatting with Emmeline and Hestia when I felt a soft touch in my right hand, while someone handed me a piece of parchment. I raised my eyes and I saw Remus walking away.
You have something in your old room waiting for you.
Of course I came running to my room as soon as I had the chance. I tried to act casual for a few minutes, but curiosity took the best of me. I entered my room and Remus wasn’t there. Not that I was thinking that he was actually waiting for me there… but there was a small chance… you never know…
I walked to the bed and I saw another note and a delicate pink daisy. Daisies are my favourite flower you know? Well, you probably don’t know that, but Remus does, because he’s a thoughtful gentleman… Sirius could learn a lot with him.
For seven days I have seen the sun rise, but I haven’t seen you.
I have walked this earth but I only want to be with you.
I spent all my life searching for something…
Searching for love… searching for you…
He loves me! He loves me! HE LOVES ME!
Tomorrow morning, when I see Remus, I’m going to kiss him. Yeah, that will be the first thing I’ll do. Ok, probably not the first thing… I’ll probably smile a little first.
But then I’m going to kiss him.
Then I’ll stop for a few seconds and I’ll say “I love you Remus Lupin”
Then I’m going to kiss him again.
Then I’m going to say hi.
Then I’m going to kiss him again.
Maybe I should brush my...
(A/N: no that's not a mistake. the chapter ends here :) )
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