Given every moment I had
Still I can never seem to keep up with you
You're done with one mile and onto another one thousand
Still I can never seem to keep up with you
I am seventeen years old and I have yet to live up to the title given to me. A Gryffindor is stereotypically one adorned with bravery. Courage is naturally implied. Yet, I prefer to lie back in the shadows, observing my surroundings. That, however, is a product of my upbringing. Things may have been different if I had grown up with my parents. Yet, living with an uptight, paranoid grandmother hardly allows one to build charisma and character.
I believe that my lack of originality is what has drawn me to her. She is unique, rebellious, kind-hearted, and fearless. She is unafraid of what they will say. She has never once let them control her spirit.
Iíve always lived in fear. Better to blend in than to stand out and be ridiculed. I envy her strength. She has lived day after day with whispers and laughter behind her back and yet, she has never thought twice about being herself. She has always remained Luna Lovegood and she always will.
Who am I, really, in comparison? Neville Longbottom, a sad, poor lump of a boy who never had half the courage she embodies. A Ravenclaw. Sheís quick as a whip and full of wit and charm. Her dazed eyes hold laughter and wisdom. She presents her feelings and emotions in a way unlike any I have ever seen.
Iíve stood back for two years, in awe of her personality. She has never broke, never stepped away from who she really is. She has found her own identity in this chaotic world.
Her smile lights a room. I could listen to her talk for days. Some may find her banter odd and unusual, but that is precisely what I like. She is different from everyone else. A good different.
She has become my distraction from reality. The reality being that my parents are certifiably insane due to a pack of sadistic Death Eaters on a rampage. Every time I see her, a part of me tends to loosen up and forget the past. My grandmother tells me itís supposed to be hard. She says that itís alright that I still feel sad when I go to visit them and that I should never be ashamed. They were two of the Ministryís most talented Aurors. Nothing could have been done to stop what happened. Nothing could have prevented it. My parents knew the risk when they entered their career path.
Since learning more about Luna, Iíve felt some sort of connection with her. Ginny Weasley explained to me that Lunaís mum died after an experiment gone wrong. It was sudden and nothing could have saved her that instant. It was out of her hands, just as my parentsí affliction was. I see her and I see joy and amusement. She is so in love with the world. Itís inspiring. Iíve never really catered to the fact that life is worthwhile. Itís always been dark and lonely. It still is sometimes, but since getting to know Luna Lovegood, my world has become more bright.
She misses her mother, but has since learned to deal with the fact that sheís gone. Sheís kept composure and not allowed it to rule her life. Sheís remained solid and strong. Yet, sometimes, I wonder if itíd be easier for my parents to just have died. The way they are now, itís as if theyíre trapped. And every time I see them, I feel sympathy and pity, not for myself, but for them. In a moment of weakness, I shared this with Luna. She was honest, but not brutal. She told me that living an empty life was almost the equivalent of not living at all.
She is the anti-Neville. She is fun, spontaneous, brave, strong. I feel powerful when with her. I sometimes wonder if she feels the same way about me as I do about her, yet itís doubtful. Lunaís nice to everyone, regardless of how foul theyíve treated her before. Her flaws are her strength. Every time someone calls her something foul, she only uses that to her advantage. Sheís comfortable in her own skin and that is what I like about her.
Iím fascinated by her, to be honest. She is like Christmas Eve, exciting and timeless. Iíve never felt this way about a girl before. Iíve never allowed myself to. Luna is the first girl Iíve ever opened up to. When we talk, she is open minded and honest. She is kind and patient. Iíve asked her about regrets and time. She has no regrets and she is not afraid of time. She is so refreshingly different from me. Iíve never found so much to like in someone of the complete opposite. Yet, as much as weíre different, weíre the same. Weíre both shy and quiet, but loyal and patient.
Since my fifth year, I can tell she is a true fighter. She is pure and good. Itís sad that she is one of the rare few at our school that is selfless. She worries about the important things. The girls in her year find her strange and weird, but whoís to say that theyíre not the strange ones? Strange is in the eye of the beholder.
She is beautiful, inside and out. As remarkably clichť as that is, itís true. I love her wavy blonde tendrils which can be calm and reasonable or wild and adventurous. They perfectly display Lunaís core. She doesnít dress to impress. She dresses in a way that amuses herself. Laughter and fun, as she told me, is all that keeps the world turning. And sheís right.
At seventeen years old, I plan on proving to the world that I am a Gryffindor. I am brave hearted and I am courageous. I am loyal and strong. I am proud of who I am. I donít intend on living in the shadows anymore. I never would have wanted to disappoint my parents. Yet, if they were well, they would most likely be disappointed. I canít use them as an excuse forever.
I have someone else to make proud now. I want to make Luna proud. Iím in love with her, have been for two years. She has already helped me in more ways than I can even describe. She has offered her friendship and loyalty to me. Sheís gone above and beyond what anyone else has ever done. And for that, she is special.