Chapter 13 : Shattered Glass...
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“Hermione I am not going to leave until you let me in,” she heard his muffled shout from down the hall and behind the door.
“GO AWAY!” She screamed.
“NO, NOT UNTIL YOU AT LEAST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO EXPLAIN!”
She heard another loud crack and knew he had apparated into the flat. This made her even angrier, what right did he have after all this to just pop into her home.
“I advice you Ron, get out now,” she warned through gritted teeth as she stormed down her hall to the living room.
“This is still my flat too, Hermione,” he reminded her.
“NO,” she yelled more angrily now, “This was your flat but you died remember!”
“MIONE PLEASE”, he pleaded with her but she only shook her head rejecting his petition.
“Get out Ron, I’ve nothing to say to you,” she said. He tried to move towards her but she backed up just as fast as he had started to move.
“Hermione, this was hard on all of us,” he pleaded still.
She only shook her head and turned away from him. She walked over to the fireplace and calmly stood staring at the flames. She heard him moving closer to her and even though she was sickened by the thought of his touch at the same time she wanted to welcome it. She was very glad he was alive but she could not get past the anger of being lied to.
Ron stopped within a few feet of her; he didn’t dare and try to touch her for he knew she was too angry with him. He stared past her shoulders to the mantle above the fireplace. There upon it sat tons of framed photographs of him and her and the so many memories they had shared. He watched as they danced in one frame outside a cathedral, the one he had proposed to her at. She was smiling and laughing and she seemed so happy. Another one was of them on Christmas, their first Christmas in this very flat. He was holding her as she sat on his lap both of them smiling as they stared into one another’s eyes, their first Christmas tree in the background. The last one he glanced at was one of his favorites. It was of him and Hermione with Ginny and Harry on Hermione’s twenty first birthday. They were all smiling and laughing, all arm in arm. Ron ran his fingers through his long red hair. It seemed like only yesterday all those pictures had been taken and yet those memories also felt worlds away.
“You never took any of those down?” he asked softly.
“I couldn’t,” Hermione said almost in a whisper her voice trembling some.
Ron did not know what else to say. He hated he had hurt her and he hated that he had missed out on five years of her life. All he could do now was say he was sorry for however many times it took until she understood it.
“Hermione,” he began, “I know you are angry with me. I am angry with myself. I hurt all of you and it is something I will have to live with the rest of my life. But I want you to know that I will continue to apologize every single day until you can believe in how sorry I am.”
He paused momentarily to watch the dancing flames then started again, “I know you don’t want to look at me and I don’t blame you. I will give you all the space you need Hermione, even if it takes the rest of this life time. Maybe you will never forgive me but I will never stop trying, I will never give up on us and I will never stop loving you. You kept me going through all of it, the thought of you and all the wonderful memories we had. I ached for you everyday I was without you but you have to believe I only did it to keep you safe, to keep you alive,” he finished.
She had not turned to face him and he could tell she had started to cry again but very softly. He wanted more then anything to reach out and hold her, to take her into his arms and make the past five years just disappear. But he knew he couldn’t and even if he tried she would only push him away. He turned and started to walk towards the front door ready to give her the space she needed.
“I thought about you everyday,” she said suddenly and softly. She turned and watched him stop in his tracks.
“Ron, when you died so did I. The Hermione you knew died with you. My whole world came crashing down around me that day and then at your funeral I felt like I couldn’t even breath that surely there was no worse pain in one’s heart then having to endure what your family and I did thinking you had past,” she said.
He turned now and was facing her but respectively keeping his distance. She moved her eyes away from him and was looking at the floor now.
“But then when I landed myself in the hospital and,” she paused to wipe some tears, “When I found out about the baby and that I had lost it I lost the will to live. I only stayed alive for those who loved me but in truth all I wanted was death.”
She was crying now more heavily and he decided to chance it and move closer to her. This time she did not back away from him.
“All I wanted was death, Ron,” she sobbed, “I thought that if I could die I would again get to see your face and the face of the child I never knew. I wasn’t suicidal I just merely wanted to see you again to hold you one last time. To hold the baby,” but she couldn’t finish her sobs had consumed her.
No longer being able to watch her cry and not comfort her Ron pulled her into an embrace. She did not pull away yet she did not embrace him back. He stroked her hair and held her tightly never wanting to let go. He too had started to cry when she mentioned the baby, his baby the life they created together. Harry had never told him of the baby not until a few days ago for he knew if his friend had there was no way he would have stayed in hiding. He would have come immediately to Hermione not caring if it cost both of them or even his family their lives.
Ron was so lost in thought he was unaware she was staring up at him.
“I used to wish this day would come,” she said tearfully, “Wish that I could hold you in my arms alive and well one last time. I never use to want anything but this day.”
He looked down into her brown watery eyes as she spoke. He wanted to kiss her so badly but knew he shouldn’t. He had been without her for five years and now he had her in his arms and he wanted to make up for all the time they had lost.
“I am here now Hermione,” he whispered to her sweetly.
“I can’t do this right now,” she said starting to pull away from his embrace.
“I’ll wait my entire life for you,” he said letting go of her but never breaking contact with her eyes.
“Please leave,” she asked hesitantly.
Her request had stung him but he knew he owed her whatever she asked. He turned without arguing and started again to the front door. Before he opened it he looked back and gave her a sympathetic and loving smile.
“I love you Hermione,” he whispered to her across the room. Then he turned and opened the large wooden door stepped out into the hall and disapparated. Hermione bolted to the door and screamed into the empty hall.
But she knew he had gone, she closed the door and collapsed to the floor in tears. She lay there for what seemed like hours consumed by hurt and lost in disbelief. Finally she stood and realizing she was cold walked back over to her fireplace to warm herself. She stared at the flames for a few minutes but then her eyes slowly moved to the pictures resting framed on the mantel. She stared at them numbly anger was now starting to take it’s course through her veins and before she realized it she took her hand and picked up one of the photographs. She stared at her and Ron dancing in it lost in happiness and suddenly anger turned into rage she flung the picture across the room. It crashed violently into the wall sending glass everywhere and sending the tattered picture frame to the floor. She let out a yell of fury and without thinking used her arm and swiped all the pictures off the mantel. They all crashed to the floor, breaking instantly and sending little glass shards all over.
Filled with anger and hurt she started destroying everything in her flat that remotely reminded her of Ron and the time they had spent together. When she finally came to her window clove to smash the last of their pictures something outside in the courtyard caught her eyes. Draco Malfoy was staring up at her with a poignant look on his face.
Hermione could not control her feet, they whisked her out her front door and down the hall out into the courtyard. It was raining but she hadn’t even noticed.
“I came as soon as I heard,” he said, “but when I got here I saw Ron going up.”
Hermione put one of her hands up to shush him but he continued on.
“I just had to know you were ok,” he said moving closer to her but stopping just before they were within inches of one another.
“Draco,” she started, “I can’t,” but he cut her off.
“You can’t do this anymore,” he said referring to them, “I get it Mione,” he finished and turned away from her starting to walk away.
Hermione watched as he walked further and further from her putting to much distance between them.
“DRACO,” she called after him. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to see her running towards him. It was raining harder now and her hair was matted to her body, they were both soaking wet. She didn’t stop running until she ran straight up to him and threw her arms around him with so much force she almost knocked him down.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded with him, the rain hiding her tears.
“What about Ron,” he said pushing the wet hair away from her face, “Won’t you need to be with him now?”
“I never stopped loving Ron,” she shouted above the thunder claps, “I carried him with me everyday.”
Draco looked away from her now his grip slackening around her waist. She reached up and touched his face gently with both of her hands, turning his head so that she was forcing him to look at her. He tried to turn his eyes from her but her hands were firm on his cheeks not allowing it.
“Through all your evil ways and all your crudeness if anything Draco Malfoy you were real,” she shouted again above the raging storm. Rain was thrashing down upon them mercilessly now but it was as if neither of them had noticed the rampaging storm.
“You might not have been the greatest person in your past and sometimes you’re not now,” she paused to take a deep breath, “but you’re real Draco. You might be wicked but you are real and you never try to hide behind something that you’re not,” she finished.
“But he loves you still does he not,” he asked above the storm.
“Draco I still don’t understand all this I don’t know that I ever will. The only thing I am sure of at this very moment is I don’t want you to walk away from me, I don’t want you to leave,” she said breathing harder.
Ron was back and yet she was standing here in the rain asking him not to walk away. He pulled her even closer to him and kissed her fiercely with his entire soul behind it. She had asked him, Draco Malfoy to not walk away from her. His mind was reeling but all he cared about was the mudblood he could not tear his lips away from. When they finally did come up for air she had released his embrace and was now clutching his hand tightly in hers, leading him back to her flat.
Ron peered at them from behind the tree’s in which he had hidden himself. True he had left when she asked him to but he could not believe it in his heart that she had truthfully wanted him to stay away. Seeing her chase after Draco and then snogging him tore at his already bruised and battered soul. He wondered what spell Draco must have her under because surely his Hermione would never allow this to happen.
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