There are a thousand words you can use when you talk about “us”. We, you and me, us, together, they, you and I, unbreakable.. and still there’s so much more.
But there’s only one word you can use when you don’t have somebody. Alone.
That’s what I am. Alone.
If I say you and me, you say only me.
If I choose together, you choose alone.
If I say love, you say hate.
Do you know how it feels when the one you love turns ones back on you, leaving you just alone?
Do you know how it feels when you can almost feel how your heart is shrinking for the non-existent love you get?
When you’re torn into a million pieces?
When you can’t take it anymore?
When you’re broken?
I know.
Some say love is the most wonderful thing you can ever experience; I say it’s the most terrible thing you can imagine.
Everybody keeps asking me if I’m alright, and I say I am, but I’m not. I don’t feel alright. Not after what you did to me. Not after you broke my heart in two.
”Filthy Mudblood!” You yelled after me. I stopped and turned around, only to meet you with your sneer. What happened, where are you? I wondered. It was only months ago since you held me in your arms. What went wrong? I thought as I looked with my hazel eyes into your piercing grey ones.
“What do you want?” I asked while sighing. I didn’t want to start a fight with you, so I began small.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
“What I want you can never give me, Hermione.” You said with fake softness when you pronounced my name. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was just too much.
“Stop it.” I said slowly.
“Stop what, Hermione? I thought you liked when I said your name, Hermione?”
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
I couldn’t control myself anymore, so I spat at you:
“And I thought you loved me. I thought what we had was something. I thought nothing could ever break us apart. Apparently I was wrong.”
I gave my love to you, and did I get something back? No.
I gave my love to you; it isn’t fair that I should suffer when you do not.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
“What’s happened to you?” I continued, ignoring the stares I got from fellow classmates that were going pass me. What’s happened to you, that’s what I really wanted to know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you, but I didn’t want to think about you, ‘cause you were lost, forever out of my reach. I couldn’t have you, not now, not ever.
“Happened to me? Nothing’s happened to me; I just got my senses back.” You said and smirked at me.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked.
“I’m not doing anything to you, Hermione, you’re doing it yourself.” You said and stood before me with your arms crossed.
I could almost feel how my heart crumbled away. Is it true? Am I really doing this to myself?
I got tears in my eyes. No, I must not cry. Not for you, never for you.
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
You looked into my eyes and smirked. I tried to look at you with the same venom, but I feared of what I might do, so I closed my eyes. I could feel how a treacherous tear slipped my eye and ran down my cold pink cheek. No! Not cry! I shall not cry! But I couldn’t help it; more tears were now running down my cheeks. I slowly opened my eyes, but I couldn’t see; the vision was blurred from the tears. I raised my hand and wiped them away from my face.
Why are you doing this to me?
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
“Why are you crying? Surely not for me?” You asked.
“No, never for you.” I said with a shaky voice. But that’s not true. I cried for you, you and me. What we had and what we are never to have again. I looked at you. You looked pale from the icy weather, but you always did. Your eyes were showing hatred, and maybe a least some sadness, but they always did. At least now, not before. Not before you were with me. Before, they showed love. Love that now is gone.
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Where is the boy I once knew? Not so long ago, I was happy, with you. Now that’s gone. All is gone. I don’t want to stand here and watch you break me apart. But you’ve already done that, down to my heart. I looked into your icy grey eyes. I couldn’t fight anymore. I can not carry this on anymore. I got up to you; I stood only a few centimetres from you.
“Why are you doing this to me, Draco? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I said with a sad voice. “Leave me alone and stop what you’re doing, I can’t take it anymore.”
You snatched when you heard me say your name. You looked at me, but not with hatred as before. Now with some regret planted in your grey eyes. You tried to say something, but there was no words coming out of your mouth. I looked at you with pleading eyes, but it was too late, you’ve changed back. Your grey eyes once again have hatred in them.
“No, you leave me alone.” You said, not wanting to look at me.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
“Draco…” I said and raised my hand towards your cheek. You jerked away from the upcoming touch.
“Don’t touch me!” You yelled.
I took my hand back again. My eye slipped a tear from the harsh words you said. I sighed inwards. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make you say you were sorry, I couldn’t make you mine again, I couldn’t make you love me again. I felt a sting in my heart. I wanted to cry, but I must not, I didn’t want you to see me cry again. Oh, this pain, just leave me alone! I’m broken, so broken inside. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I closed my eyes and a tear ran down my cheek. I opened them again and looked at you. I didn’t know what to say. I was just standing there. But there’s nothing I could do for you, neither say, you’re lost and always will be.
And with these thoughts in my head, I backed away slowly, taking one last look at you, and then I walked away, walked away from you, leaving you standing there. Alone.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
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