You ever love a person so much it hurts? It hurts to be around them when they talk about that special someone in their lives. It hurts when they don’t see you the way you see them.
Yea, that’s my story.
I’ve been in love with Sirius Black since we were twelve when he first kissed me. I smile every time I think about it. He made it his mission to be the first boy to kiss me. I’d run from him every time he’d come around. Or hide in my dorm until he left for class or went to hang out with his other friends. Eventually he cornered me in the common room and kissed me right there in then.
He shouldn’t have done that. I started falling in love with him. Now at seventeen, I knew I was definitely in love with him. But he’d never see me the way I see him. To him, I’m just his best friend, someone he can come to when he needs girl advice. The flavors of the week, I call them.
Do you have any idea how much that hurts? It’s like having my heart ripped out a dozens times and then have it stomped on by every Quidditch player in the school.
Yea, I know, it seems like I’m exaggerating, but I can assure you, love hurts when your in love with your best friend, and he doesn’t love you back, well, doesn’t love you the way you love him.
No one knows, except James, the little sneaky prat. I don’t know how, but he does. I wish he didn’t though. I don’t like the way he looks at me whenever Sirius comes around with another girl, it’s like someone’s died. I can bet Sirius notices it.
“Has anyone seen Murphy?” I could hear him going around asking for me.
I wonder how long I can hide from him in the girl’s dorm. Knowing him it won’t take that long. He’s a sneak he’ll probably find a way up here.
“Murphy, I need to talk to you!”
I laughed silently; I liked to hear him call my name. It made me feel special in a way. He’s had tons of girlfriends, me, I’ve only had one boyfriend, but it didn’t last long.
Not that I really cared.
The girl’s dorm was quiet; everyone was outside, or in the library studying. I could hear light footsteps approaching the dorm; then the door opened slowly. “Murphy, are you in here?” Lily poked her head inside.
I raised my right hand lazily and grunted softly.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked walking towards me bed, which is by the window, “why aren’t you outside with Sirius? He’s looking for you, you know.”
I shrugged, “I don’t feel well.”
She sat on the foot of my bed, “well at least go see Sirius, the guys practically tearing the whole school apart looking for you.”
You’d think he’d use the Marauders map to look for me. Well he would if it weren’t for one tiny problem…I have the map. I took it from him last night. Maybe that’s why he’s looking for me.
“Meh, I’ll talk to him later,” I rolled over on my side, “I just want to stay indoors today.”
Lily’s been my best friend since our first day at Hogwarts. We’re completely different, but a lot alike. That’s why our friendship works.
“Why wont you come outside with me?” she asked shaking me, “I need you to help keep Potter away.”
I couldn’t help but laugh loudly, “So I’m guessing that threatening him with your wand isn’t working any more, eh?”
She sighed, “unfortunately no.”
“Just give it up, Lily, you’re going to end up going out together, then you’re going to get married and have little tiny babies,” I joked.
“Don’t say that!” she stood up, “can you imagine me, and that--that Potter boy together? Its ludicrous if you ask me,” she crossed her arms over her chest, “that boy has a bigger ego then--then…well I don’t know who, he just does! Can we stop talking about him?”
I sat up and stared at her, “Lily, you’re the one who brought him up.”
“Oh…right,” her cheeks started to turn as red as her hair.
She liked James, I could tell.
“So are you coming outside with me or not?” she tried to change the subject.
I smiled and turned away from her, maybe I should go outside, not like I’m doing anything up here, “you go on, I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Alright, do you want me to wait in the common room or…?”
“Nah, just go outside, I might be awhile, but I’ll definitely be there.”
“You better,” she walked towards the door, “don’t take to long,” she shut the door behind her.
I sighed and stood up. I changed into some comfortable clothes, and put on my old sneakers. I didn’t even bother with my hair; I just put it up in a ponytail.
The common room was definitely empty, so were the corridors. Was I the only person inside?
“Hello Castillo,” well that answered my question.
I turned, “Black.”
Regulus Black, Sirius’ younger brother, he was in sixth year. Just as handsome as his brother only he was a Slytherin.
“What,” he took a step towards me, his cold dark eyes staring into my brown ones, “no hug?”
“Look, Black, I really don’t have time for you right now, so buzz off,” I began to walk away from him.
“Love’s a mystery, isn’t Castillo?”
I stopped again and sighed annoyingly, “what are you going on about?”
He shrugged, “nothing just that I know something you don’t know.”
“I definitely don’t have time for your childish games, so if you’ll excuse me,” for the second time, I walked away.
I have no problems with Regulus Black and his cronies, they didn’t give me a reason to hate them, and I didn’t give them one either. As long as we stayed out of each others way it was all good.
“Oh but see I think you do,” he walked up beside me, “I see the way you look at my brother…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He grabbed my upper arm, and pulled me closer to him, our faces almost touching. My heart started beating faster.
He opened his mouth to say something, but a voice from behind me made him close it.
“What’s going on here?” Sirius walked up beside me and glared at his brother, “what are you doing bothering Murphy?”
“Nothing dear brother, I just had an urge to talk to her.”
“Well next time you get the urge to talk to her, don’t,” Sirius looked towards his brother’s hand, which was still holding on to my upper arm, grabbed it and shoved it away roughly, “and don’t ever touch her…again.”
I looked at Sirius, he had never been this protective of me, but it is understandable, Sirius and Regulus hate each other, and compete over almost everything.
The younger Black smirked a little, “I’ll talk with whomever I please, whenever I please, and if I want to touch her,” he reached out to touch my face gently, “I will,” he smiled a little when our eyes locked together; then looked at Sirius before walking away.
Sirius and I watched him go, quietly, once he was out of sight Sirius turned to me, “what was all that about?”
I looked at him, Godric, he was handsome, “I don’t know,” I shrugged, “sort of corned me when I was walking outside…”
“Oh…” he looked at me strangely.
“What?” I asked, “Do you think your brother and I are having a secret love affair?”
“I don’t know, you could be,” he said seriously.
I gaped at him then smacked his arm with the back of my hand, “Sirius Black, I cannot believe you would think such a thing!”
“I was only kidding!” he laughed.
“Fine,” I started walking away from him.
“Hey where you going?” he jogged to catch up with me.
“I told Lily, I’d meet her outside. Why?”
“Oh I was hoping we could talk…”
I glanced at him through the corner of my eye, “about what?”
“I met a girl…”
I sighed, “And how is this one different from the rest?”
“She’s got a great personality,” he said.
“And again I ask how this one is different from the rest?” I hope he didn’t notice the bitter tone in my voice…wait…actually…yea I hope he did.
“She could be the one.”
Sirius was a hopeless romantic, I had to admit that.
I sighed in defeat, “Tell me about her then. Tell me what makes her the one.”
He smiled happily; we continued walking down the corridor.
He went on telling me about this girl he met though I was only able to pick up some words every now and then. My mind was else where.