Chapter 1 : Wayside Affection
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"Could you walk any slower?"
"Tell me again why it's us buying the whiskey? James could've done it when he went on a date with Lily. Or Peter could've come with you. It's too early."
Remus turned to face his friend, halting for a moment. "You know Peter has a sore throat and James would never make Lily carry our booze. Stop whining."
It was their last week at Hogwarts and as a leaving school tradition they were going to throw a party which was strictly forbidden by the staff, but highly popular among the students. Sirius was the master of ceremonies, but he had very little patience for practicalities. Remus was the voice of reason, as usual.
"If I'm suffering, you're suffering." Sirius' logic was always amazing to Remus. The boy was so immature. "Are we there yet?"
Remus sighed. He would take a sick Peter anytime instead of a grumpy and tired Sirius.
"Are we there yet?"
"Shut up, Padfoot."
"I hate you."
For a short while, they walked in silence until Sirius opened his mouth again. "It's going to rain."
"Thank you for sharing."
But the truth was that it wasn't only going to rain. The sky had decided to disappear behind the masses of water that came pouring down upon them. No amount of charms or spells could keep them from getting wet. They ran, in vain.
They were like living energy, laughing and screaming as they hurled themselves inside a wooden shelter made for situation like this. It had a similar look to it like all old Muggle bus stops in the countryside; near the road, waiting for people to sit on the benches, looking a bit abandoned. The only exception was that its ceiling covered half of the front, too, giving it a cave-like feeling.
Remus sat down on the long bench, shaking his soaked head wildly. "I'm wet in places even my mother hasn't seen."
"I love it when you talk dirty," Sirius said, grinning. All his earlier grumpiness was gone. He loved being wet and loud and boyish. They had to be so grown-up already. It was wonderful to see Remus shake his head like a dog, act like a careless child. He loved him like that.
"I've never seen rain like that, have you?" Remus asked, taking his shoes and socks off, both dripping wet. He put his socks on the railing in front of them, hoping they would dry before they continued the journey to Hogsmeade. He hated cold and wet feet.
"I know. Amazing." Sirius smiled widely, leaning against the railing and looking out. "It's like some kind of fairy-tale weather. The water, it's jumping back up from the ground. Look!" Sirius grabbed his friend's sleeve and pulled him closer. "Look!"
And Remus looked, first at his friend's excited face and then at the reason for it. It really was beautiful. "Wow, look at the trees. They seem to want to get out of the way."
They stood there for a long while, looking out, silently admiring the show nature was so willing to give them and enjoying each otherís company. Nowadays, those quiet moments were rare among the Marauders, too. Days were growing short and school was ending. It was painful to be reminded of their earlier times, those moments of happiness they'd shared with each other, sitting by the lake, running in the woods, searching for all the secrets of the castle. It was all ending.
"D'you remember how we met?"
Sirius turned to face Remus, a bit confused about the tone of his voice. Moony was sad for some reason. "Of course, you hit me with your book. I still have the mark from that." Sirius pulled up his hair, showing Remus the non-existent scar on his forehead.
"Yeah, but you deserved that."
"I was only, mind you, trying to find a vacant compartment."
"Hah, you were trying to hex me so you could get mine."
Remus sighed as he sat down on the bench again; Sirius would never change. There was something very comforting in that thought.
"How long do you think it's going to rain? Twenty minutes? The whole day?" Sirius moved slightly, pulling his shirt over his head and sitting next to Remus. He dropped the shirt on the bench, leaving it there in a wet bundle.
"I failed Divination," Remus said with an amused expression on his face, "but I'd say it's going to take some time. D'you want to stay here or... ?" He couldn't finish the sentence. He really wanted to stay, really wanted to waste some time being with his friend. It was so precious to him, but he didn't want to share the fear of loss with Sirius. It was nagging him, but he didn't want to share.
"I'm fine by this. I wasn't the one who wanted to wake up so bloody early and get on with it like my arse was on fire." Sirius snorted. He was the only one of them who could laugh at his own jokes without sounding like a complete idiot. Remus had no idea how he managed to do that.
"I could kiss you for being who you are." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Embarrassed, he tried to see if Sirius thought he was out of line, but the boy only smiled, knowing exactly what he meant.
"I don't want your wolf breath near my delicate nose, ever." Sirius was laughing now, that wonderful barking laugh of his. So unique. So Sirius. He was genuinely happy. It was catching and soon both of them were fighting fits of laughter and holding their aching stomachs. "I can't believe you just said that. I can't believe."
Remus nodded, unable to speak. He couldn't believe it either.
Suddenly, a boy and a girl came running into their shelter. Sirius moved a bit closer to Remus, giving them room to sit on the bench, too. "Bastards," he mouthed to Remus, making him fight another burst of laughter. He almost sounded like he was giggling.
The couple looked a bit younger than them, maybe fifth years. They were acting very shy and modest, feeling a bit intimidated by Sirius' half-nakedness. Sirius, of course, noticed this.
"Want to play?" he asked Remus almost silently and after a short pause, the boy nodded ever so slightly. It was all the encouragement Sirius needed. He sat even closer to Remus and began to stroke his hair, his shoulders, his chest. "I've needed you so much. Why didn't you come to me earlier? All the girls at Hogwarts have given me a headache. I want only you. Not some sodding school girl. I want a manly man to sneak up behind me, push me against the wall. I want you." Sirius leaned in on him and licked his neck. He whispered, blowing in his ear slightly: "I want you."
Remus looked at the couple over Sirius' shoulder. They were beyond shocked, they were outrageous, both closing and opening their mouths, gaping at them. Remus almost felt sorry for them, almost. He let his fingers get lost in Sirius' messy long hair and pulled the boy against his chest. Remus heard him moan and the sound made him smile. Padfoot really was convincing.
Remus closed his eyes, letting himself feel the warmth of Sirius' naked upper body against him. His mouth found the crook of his neck and he bit the other boy almost too hard, making him hiss and bite back. It was his earlobe that was getting attacked and not just by teeth, but tongue, too. It felt... too real.
It wasn't long until the rain seemed a lot more inviting to the young couple and they sprinted off, never showing their faces in front of the infamous Marauders again.
Sirius pulled away a bit, looking at the empty seat next to them, smiling. "We showed them."
Remus' voice was low. "Yeah, we did."
If it had been any other person, Sirius would have overlooked the odd tone the other boy used, but it really was Remus, Moony, their voice of reason, and he sounded pretty damn unlike himself. ConfusedÖ raspy... sexy? Remus, you nitwit. You've been reading too many weird books. No more books for you.
Sirius turned to look at him and admitted even to himself that it was a mistake. Only then did he realize that his own hands were resting on Remus' shoulder and chest, holding him either closer or pushing him away. He couldn't tell. Remus' right hand was in his hair and his left hand was curled around his waist. They were so close that he could count the hairs growing in Remus' chin. But the worst part was his friendís eyes; they were full of poorly masked desire.
Usually Sirius was very articulate, but at that specific moment, he was useless with words. He couldn't have said anything to save his own life. He managed only to open his mouth and breathe in audibly. He was too scared to move a muscle.
Something shifted in Remus' eyes, as though he had tried to control his feelings but failed. There was desperation in those brown depths of his soul. He was losing himself. He looked like he was in pain and Sirius couldn't take it anymore. His fingers curled around Remus' wet shirt and he yanked him near enough for him to whisper in his ear. "It's all right."
It wasn't but he didn't know what else to say.
"Don't." Remus wasn't sure if he was asking Sirius to move, not to move, stop speaking or what. He just couldn't take any of it at that moment. Sirius was too close, too wet, too real, too Sirius. He didn't know when that feeling had awaken in him; he had no idea why it manifested itself now after all those years together, after all the wrestling matches, naked werewolf mornings, after all the nights they'd slept in a same bed, too tired to move each to their own. What was so different about this moment? Why now?
He could feel the fire within, burning, making his skin overly sensitive to touch. Sirius' hand on his shoulder felt heavy, but at the same time it was a channel between them, sending Sirius' pulse through him and shaking him to the core. He could smell everything so clearly; the rain outside, the muddy road, leaves in the trees, Sirius' fear. It was all so clear. He could smell lust. He just didn't know if it was his only.
Sirius leaned backwards, trying to get some kind of sense out of his over-heated brain. There was only one thing howling in every corner of his mind, What the hell is happening? He couldn't think; he couldn't move. It was just him and Remus, holding one another. Him and Remus. Remus and him, Sirius.
Tentatively, his hand uncurled from Remus' shirt and moved up, touching the back of his neck and the slightly longer hair there. Under his searching hands, he could feel Remus tense. He couldn't blame Moony for being as scared as he was, but he rather liked the fact that he had that kind of effect on his dear friend.
Remus' fingers took a tighter hold on his hair, but otherwise he stayed absolutely still. He was really good at controlling himself and the more he tried to maintain control, the more Sirius wanted to break it. His hand travelled from the back of his neck to his face and lips, carefully caressing the sensitive skin there. Sirius smiled when he heard the guttural growl coming behind those lips. It was amazing what he could do with his mere fingers.
"Don't," Remus repeated and this time he knew exactly what he wanted, but had decided not to take it. It wasn't right. They were friends. He would lose Padfoot. They would hate each other for the rest of their lives. He would lose... He could feel Sirius tugging his shirt up from under his trousers and trying to pull it over his head. That woke him up. "Hey, what d'you think you're doing?"
But Sirius didn't say anything, he just pulled the other boy's hands up and finally, the shirt was off. Remus closed his eyes, too embarrassed to look at his friend. He was so ugly with all his scars, but the mocking words never came. The only thing that happened was Sirius' mouth moving against his exposed skin. His tongue soothed the scars that crisscrossed Remus' bare chest, the soft touches making his breath heavy and uneven. His hands found the back of Sirius' neck, pulling him up to meet his eyes. "What're you doing?" He had to fight the words out of his mouth.
He wasn't ready for the sight before him. Sirius' eyes were clouded, lashes heavy. His mouth was slightly open and inviting and there was this absolute surrender in his posture. At that moment Remus knew Sirius was his if he wanted him. He couldn't deny himself anymore.
Remus leaned closer, touching Sirius' lips with his own very lightly. It was the most personal touch he had ever felt. Nobody had made him feel like this before; his entire body was responding to Sirius' touch. His lips seemed to grow warmer, softer. He wanted to feel everything; he wanted to get closer.
Sirius opened his mouth, but only to tease Remus. He let his own tongue follow the lines of Remus' mouth, but when the boy tried to respond with his tongue, he pulled away slightly. He wanted to play. He bit Remus' lower lip almost drawing blood and making the other boy dig his fingers into the back of his neck. It felt good to have power over someone. Remus was shaking in his arms, but the truth was, so was he.
Neither of them noticed their surroundings anymore; anyone could have walked in and they would have been like air to them. The rain hid all the sounds they made, lulling them into a dreamlike world. The shelter was their private haven.
The kiss grew more intimate with every second and Sirius couldn't hold himself back anymore just to play. There was a real need in him now. Remus wasn't just any other person walking out there. He was a close friend. He was a comrade, brother in arms. He would stand beside Sirius at the gates of hell. He would carry him, if his own will were to fail him. He was there for him. It was overwhelming to be touching and kissing the person he trusted like he was his own kin, the only family he had ever known.
Had he always loved Remus so much?
The thought escaped his lips and he moaned against Remus' mouth. It was too much to feel all those things at the same time. Sirius buried his head in the crook of Remus' neck, holding him close and revelling in the feel of his friendís bare skin against his own. It was so different to hold another boy against him. There were so many bones and so very little soft flesh. But it felt more right than anything in his entire life.
"Did we just... did... " Sirius could barely speak, but he wanted to lighten the situation, say something funny. Something. Anything.
But Remus didn't give him a chance, instead he said everything that needed to be said, "Shut up, Padfoot. You're ruining it."
It was just them. They would work it out.
A/N: I had so much fun writing this ficlet. :)
A huge thanks goes to jynx67, my wonderful and faithful beta who always listens to my troubles. Love you, dear.
The idea came to me when I was in Kyoto, Japan and while I was there jynx67 told me that timeturner had made another interesting challenge. Luckily the idea fitted to her challenge and here we are: my response to timeturner's 'first kiss' challenge.
Thank you melihobbit and FaymosAmos for standing behind me, yet again. I truly appreciate everything you've done.
Another thank you goes to Ghislane. :) Thank you for finding all my mistakes. :)
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