A/N: I know I took too long to update, please don't yell at me! anyway here's the next chapter hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: it's all borrowed form J.K: obviously. And the girl in my banner is Marjorie Estiano and I don't own her either.
September 3, my Auror Office, sitting at my desk and biting my quill, 11:39 am
Current mood: the River of Joy is running through my soul
Number of times I thought about Remus’ favorite color: 23
Number of times I had to explain Kingsley why I was late: 6
You won’t believe what just happened. I don’t believe what just happened. How could I be so stupid??? Of course it all makes sense now… doesn’t it?
You still don’t know what I’m talking about…
Well, I came to work today by Floo powder; said hello to Laura from the reception; tripped over that old Lady from that boring department that I can never remember the name… you know, the usual.
I was heading to the elevator and a tall wizard was a few feet ahead of me. I noticed him because his hair was exactly like Remus. (not that I was trying to copy that hair color in front of my mirror… every night… before going to sleep…over and over again…). Anyway, I thought it was kind of amusing because he also walked like Remus, you know, like he had a string pulling the top of his head. His clothes also looked like Remus’ clothes and BY MERLIN HE WAS REMUS!!
I was so stunned when I realized it was him that I bumped into someone, causing everyone to look at me.
I raised my eyes only to realize it was Timothy Duston that I had bumped into. He had his hand in my waist and a large grin in his face.
“You have to be careful Tonks. People would think you’re throwing yourself at me.” He still had his hand around my waist and he didn’t seem inclined to remove it.
“Oh, right, sorry for that Timothy”.
I saw Remus giving us an unreadable look and quickly looking away. I tried to step back but Timothy grabbed my arm and pulled me closer.
“So do you want to have dinner with me today? I was planning to ask you for ages you know?”
“Well... Er…. Timothy… you see…”
Luckily I didn’t have to answer because someone called for him and he had to hurry to some mission after guarantying me that he would stop by my office to discuss the matters of our dinner. At least I’ll have time to think of an answer.
I hurried to the elevator just in time. Remus was the only one there.
That’s when the weird stuff started happening.
Remus: Hello Nymphadora. Nice to see you here.
Me: Hi Remus.
(insert awkward silence. Really awkward. Relly really disturbing... and awkward)
We stayed quiet for a few moments. I was staring at my feet and he had his hands in his pockets and I just couldn’t look at him. I can’t believe he saw me in that situation with Timothy. What is he thinking of me right now?
The silence was starting to be unbearable.
Me: I can’t say I’m not surprised to see you here. Are you applying for a job?
(Stupid, stupid Tonks! Why did you have to refer the fact that he’s unemployed?)
Great, I was able to embarrass myself even more than I already was.
Remus: (with something that actually looked like a grin) No... That’s not what brought me here. I’m actually here to attend a meeting with the Department of Magical Creatures Regulation. Although that would be a perfect Department for me wouldn’t it?
Me: (laughing a little more than I intended to at first) Yeah, I guess it would.
Ok, embarrassing phase is gone now. What really sucks is that sweating-palms-phase took place.
Me: So... what is that meeting about?
The elevator stopped and we stepped out. Who cares if this wasn’t the right floor for me?
Remus: (in a low whisper and approaching my ear to speak. Bummer, now it’s butterflies-on-stomach-phase) It’s actually Order business, but to the Ministry I’m just a concerned wizard/werewolf. (in a lower tone) You know Dolores Umbridge?
Remus: (with a quizzical look). Yes, I think that’s the one. (Insert sweet and charming grin here) She’s trying to approve a new werewolf regulation. She’ll be removing most rights we have right now. She even wants us castrated.
Me: YOU’RE JOKING! She can’t do that… it’s...
Remus: (between laughs) Tonks… I’m joking about the
Smart move Tonks. Really smooth… and yes, I said this in a very sarcastic tone.
Me: Oh… Right… I knew that… even so, it’s not fair. Someone should really kick that woman’s ass.
Remus: Well, Sirius thought about that. He actually suggested me to Stupefy her senseless and drag her to the Dark Forest. I told him I would put it in consideration.
Sirius: (small chuckle) You could s… (Buckbeak roared again) her senseless and (Buckbeak again).
Remus: I think I’ll put that in consideration…
And this, my dear notebook, was the revelation of the century. See? I told you it all made sense! I don’t scare a Dementor… Umbridge does! Me? Scare a Dementor? How ridiculous… I should have known all along.
It’s your fault you know? You’re the one that puts all these conspiracy theories in my head… Don’t play innocent! You know it’s true, you evil Diary!...
You know what this means? I was wrong all along! If I was wrong about this I could be wrong about Remus in a lot of things. Maybe he never made fun of me; or maybe his favorite color isn’t blue like I always thought it was. Heck, he could be a woman for all I know. I never saw him naked. Not that I’ve been thinking about Remus naked… that would be a bit… er… weird.
But there’s no way abody like that could be… er… Never mind.
Anyway, I eventually had to say goodbye to him. But I’ll see him tonight at the Order’s meeting, which would be the perfect occasion to… continue our conversation! Oh, bummer. Dinner with Duston. I have to cancel that.
Thinking again I don’t remember agreeing with it in the first place…
Still my Auror office, 06:29 pm
I did a stupid thing.
A really stupid thing
I accepted to have dinner with Duston. Don’t yell at me! It wasn’t my fault!
When he came here just a while ago, I had all my speech planed, to tell him that I didn’t want to go in that stupid dinner.
But he didn’t even let me start, he started talking like I already said yes, and saying how happy he was because he had no friends to go out with.
He has no friends, what did you want me to do? I guess I’ll have to skip that order meeting. It’s not that big deal; I had no reports for the Order…
Bummer, why am I so nice?
But Remus heard Timothy asking me out. So when he doesn’t see me in the meeting, he’ll know I’m with him and he’ll be jealous and… oh, I’ll just shut up.
See? I shut myself up.
Not talking about Remus anymore.
11:49 pm, my room; smashing my head against the wall... repeatedly… over and over again.
I just had the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. I’m serious, my skin has acquired a permanent blush color. It wears off, but when I think about The Incident (that’s how we’re referring to today’s events from now on) the color just comes back. And I can’t morph my skin back to normal. I tried it. Doesn’t work.
I will never be able to look Remus in the eye again. But I have my techniques. I’ll avoid being alone with him at all costs, and if I have to talk to him I’ll just stare to his neck while talking (It won’t be too hard, considering he’s taller than me).
Anyway, here’s what happened…
Timothy took me to this fancy Restaurant in Diagon Alley. I felt weird chills down my spine all the time, almost like I was being watched. After 5 minutes I realized I was going to have the worst date of my entire life. He kept talking about himself, how he was a great keeper in his Hogwarts’ days, how he received a medal in a mission for the Ministry involving a gang of thieves. Or was it contrabandists? Can’t remember, I wasn’t paying much attention. I actually paid more attention to the empty table besides us where I could just swear I saw a chair moving.
Then suddenly he started to talk about You-Know-Who, and how he believed in Dumbledore. He started asking me suspicious questions… almost like he knew that I was in
the Order. I avoided those questions obviously, I know I’m not supposed to give away information, even if that person seems interested in joining forces with us against You-Know-who.
After dinner he offered himself to walk me home, since it was just a few blocks away. You’re thinking the same thing as me right? This guy never noticed me at all, and suddenly he’s all over me, buying me dinner, offering to escort me home… and in top of all that, asking questions about the Order?
I told him I would just apparate home and prepared myself to draw my wand in case he insisted. Almost instantly he said Expelliarmus and I felt my wand slipping away from my hand as he grabbed me by my wrist.
"I would be more careful, Tonksy. You don’t want me to think that you were going to attack me right? Now be a nice girl and tell me what Dumbledore’s up to. The Ministry knows that he’s gathering several wizards and witches and that you’re one of them."
"I have no idea what you’re talking about." I said trying to sound calm. I quickly looked around and noticed we were the ones in the street. But I felt the same chill down my spine that I felt back on the restaurant.
"Don’t make things harder for me Tonks…" He pulled me closer and I felt his breath in my face. "Just tell me what you know and I’ll let you go."
"She already said she doesn’t know what you’re talking about. And I would release her arm if I were you."
Next to us and appeared out of nowhere was Remus. Timothy backed out, and he was obviously as surprised as me when he saw him there.
"And I don’t think it’s very polite to accuse someone of something when you don’t have any kind of proof."Remus continued in his quiet voice.
Timothy gave a few steps back and disapparated without a word. Remus handed me my wand and I noticed an invisibility cloak in his arm.
"Thanks." I said looking into those beautiful grey eyes.
"Don’t mention it. Shall I walk you home?"
I nodded in agreement and he smiled making those butterflies in my stomach to start dancing again.
When we were already in front of my flat I broke the silence.
"How did you know that Timothy was… one of Fudge’s cronies?"
"I didn’t. But when I didn’t saw you at the meeting I felt a bit worried and I figured I should check on you."
I blushed at the thought that he worried about me, but I managed to answer back.
"Let me get this straight, Remus Lupin missed a meeting?"
He smiled and looked at his feet, before looking me in the eye again.
"I thought my presence would be more important here tonight." (insert charming smile here. I mean really, really charming. Like sweep-you-off-your-feet-and-make-you-melt-charming-smile.)
"It was nothing really. I’m just glad that it’s all ok with you." He said taking a step forward coming a bit closer. Too close. And since when are the butterflies in my chest? Is there a secret tunnel between the stomach and the heart that I don’t know of?
"Thanks for worrying about me then." I said in a whisper, closing the gap between us. We gazed at each others eyes as I leaned my lips towards his. When I was already feeling his warm breath tingling my skin I realized what I was doing and I disapparated to my flat without looking back.
I was going to kiss him
I was actually going to kiss him.
Not a friend’s kiss.
What is happening to me? What if… Sirius is right? What if I do have a crush?
But I had crushes before and they have nothing to do with this…
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