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Unwell by BrittanyPotter
Chapter 1 : One
 
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A/N: My first songfic about Sirius! Wahoo! I'm infamous for them! any who... ok this is about Sirius In Azkaban, reflecting on things in his life. In his POV.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. J.K Rowling's. Let's go over this slowly. N-O-T M-I-N-E! Get it! Got it? Good!
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all day
staring at the ceiling making
friends with shadows on my wall
all night
i'm hearing voices telling me
that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good
for something
hold on
i'm feeling like i'm headed for a
breakdown
i don't know why


They all stared at me. Everywhere I went! I tried not to go out much but I had to sometime. I knew what they thought. I could feel their stares boring into my back and it maked me look even more uncomfortable. Then it made them think I'm guilty. As if they didn't already. I could hear them whispering to eachother, and I pretended not to notice, but I did. I knew what they said!
Oh, there goes that Sirius Black, everyone knows that he helped kill the Potters!
He was their secret keeper...
Sold them to Voldemort...
That low down filthy scum...
He should go to Azkaban.
But I knew they were wrong. James was my best friend.

i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me
i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how i used to be

Yeah, I said was. Because he can't be now, not anymore. All because of Pettegrew. It's all his fault. The little rat sold them out...ah what I'd do to him should I get the chance to put my hands on his scrawney neck. But really, it's Voldemort's fault. He manipulated so many minds. How can your friend and study buddy be plotting revenge on the Slytherins with you one moment, then be murdering his friends and family the next? Because he was a little wimp, and he always hung around the big boys in the school yard. Always standing in the shadow of the biggest bully so he wouldn't be hurt. Now, people think I'm a murderer. They say I killed my best friend for a bit of power. They think I'm a Killer, Wormtail! Can you hear me? You'll pay for it this time, Peter. Just you wait. You'll pay.

see me
talking to myself in public
and dodging glances on the train
i know
i know they've all been talking 'bout me
i can hear them whisper
and it makes me think there must be something
wrong
with me
out of all the hours thinking
somehow
i've lost my mind

They gawk at me as if I am an animal in a Zoo, that they don't want to get close to incase I bite their arm off. That's not how it used to be. They used to stare with admiration, not fear. They used to watch my retreating back and wish they were a Maurauder. Not watch me leave and be glad I'm gone. They used to laugh heartily at out pranks, not laugh nervously when I smile at them. They used to fear for their dignity and maybe their Bunny Pjammas around me. Not for their children's safety.
LIke I said. Things have changed, and not for the better. They think I'm insane, they think I kill for amusement. They think I am a cold blooded killer. Not a fun-loving prankster. Everything is so serious, now. What happerned, Prongs?

i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me
i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how i used to be

James, and me. We were best friends. The best. We told eachother everything. We were closer than brothers. We used to have such good times. Moony too. Wormtail never participated much. Around seveth year he started to be around alot less, hang around with a different group of people. But we didn't notice. We were too busy being cool, and plotting out next ileagle trip to Hogsmead. I think back now and wonder if maybe we would have noticed him more, If we'd been nicer, If we'd asked where he was going and cared, maybe he wouldn't have done it. But maybe it was already in him. Maybe he was a bad egg from the start. So there were were, then. A Werewolf, A prankster, A Head Boy, and A bad egg. But we can't change the past.
Whatever happened to the Mauraders?people think. Well, one is in hiding, was was murdered, one is a murderer, and one is in Azkaban. WHo would have thought. I've never seen my godson, Harry. Probably never will. I've found out that Peter is hiding at Hogwarts, as a rat. The Gaurds say I've been saying that over and over in my sleep. He's at Hogwarts. They think that I'm out to get Harry, I reckon. Well, that's my life now. The life of a convict. THey think I killed peter now, too. All they know. How I went from having it all to having nothing I'll never know. But I know this. One day, one day I'll get out of here and commit the crime I was imprisoned for. Watch out Peter, because I know where you are. Watch out.

I've been talking in my sleep
pretty soon they'll come to get me
they'll be taking me away




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