I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
Rejection is one thing I will never be able to handle. Fear is not an easy obstacle to overcome. I don’t know how Harry does it. He has faced You-Know-Who at least five times, and he didn’t show any fear when he did. I know I am supposed to be his best mate and all, but I will never be that brave.
My fear of rejection is keeping me from my one way to get to happiness. Hermione. I see her and I see beauty. I want to tell her, but I can’t. What if she doesn’t like me the same way? I could just feel my heart tearing into two if that were to happen. So, instead I watch her, secretly wanting her, from the side.
Sadly, when I walked into the library, I didn’t get see the side of her I wanted to see.
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
“Go away!” Hermione was almost yelling. This was it, my chance to show her how I feel. I was about to step in and tell off Malfoy for being a jerk, when I suddenly heard him speak.
“No Granger. Is that any way to talk to me?” He asked mysteriously. Hermione laughed. Laughed! What was she laughing about? Malfoy was being a jerk. She shouldn’t be laughing.
I looked around the corned curiously. This was a mistake. There was Malfoy, standing right in front of Hermione, with his hand on her cheek. She smiled as he whispered something I couldn’t hear. Then, he leaned in a kissed her. To my dismay, she didn’t object. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and welcomed him. I walked back to the common room, feeling like I had been stabbed in the chest.
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
I entered the common room, and ignored Harry as he tried to get me to stop me. I continued up to my dormitory, and slammed the door with all the force I could conjure. My mind was racing. Why Malfoy, and not me!? What about me! Hasn’t she noticed me at all? What is going on! I slowly drifted off to sleep, thoughts of Hermione buzzing through my head.
I was standing there, in plane site. It she looked straight, she could see me. But she didn’t look. She was facing Malfoy with the smile that I have been longing for her to show me since third year. She looked at him, and gave him a huge hug, and he embraced her in return. They let go and a cab pulled up. I saw Malfoy get in and Hermione was about to follow after him.
“Hermione, I love you! Don't go! I am sorry I didn't tell you!” I screamed at her. But she didn’t hear. She looked right through me and got into the car.
I woke with a start, breathing heavy. It was morning and everyone but me had left the dorm. I got dressed and ready for the day awaiting me, thinking only of Hermione and Malfoy.
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
I had somehow made it through the day without having to speak to Hermione. It was already night when we arrived back to the common room after dinner and everyone was settling in to do their homework. I got out my books and began to read the assigned pages, when my concentration was broke from Hermione’s voice.
“I’ve got to go to the library. I need to use the references there for my essay so I may take all night, don’t wait up for me.” Harry nodded and I just sat there silently. She left and ten minutes later, and I got up.
“I’ve got to go to the Owlery, I’ll be back soon.” I stood up and headed for my destination, which, by the way, wasn’t the Owlery. I silently entered the library to find it empty. I looked around a bit more and saw no one so I decided to give up and head back to the common room.
As I was walking down the corridor, I heard a noise from the empty class room to my left. I hesitantly opened the door, and quickly regretted it. There was Hermione and Malfoy (who was pinning against the wall), making out with each other. They kissed for what seemed like forever and I didn’t blink once.
To my utter disgust, this followed in Malfoy stripping off Hermione’s top, leaving her with just an undergarment. I couldn’t believe she was letting him do this. But she seemed to be enjoying herself, considering she was caressing Malfoy’s chest, hands under his shirt.
Now, let me go
And I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
This was more than I could stand. I turned my head to face the ground and slowly walked away from the room. My heart was now not in just two pieces, but there was nothing left of it. I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. I walked up the rest of the way to the common room as if I were nothing more than a moving body.
“What the bloody hell is wrong!” Harry exclaimed as I walked into the room. I guess I looked in a bad state.
“N-Nothing.” I croaked.
“Nothing my arse!” I ignored him and continued to the dormitory silently. I entered the room and lay on my bed, not even changing. But I wasn’t tired, I needed to think. Why would she choose him? I love her, not him! He tormented her for the last five years of her life, and she goes for him. There has to be an explanation. I doubt he even likes her! He is probably using her.
At this thought, my mind exploded. That had to be it! He had to be using her, why else would she like Malfoy?! I stood up and stormed angrily out of the dorm, headed to the one place I could seek my revenge.
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
I was not even paying attention to where my feet were carrying me, but I ended up at my destination. I peeked in the room, and saw Malfoy and Hermione still kissing, but now both were shirtless.
I stormed in, not even thinking of the consequences. Hermione jumped back, grabbing her shirt and scrambling to put it on.
“Weas-“ Malfoy started, but didn’t get to finish. I had already jumped on him. Hermione, who had her (now wrinkled) shirt back on screamed. Draco was trying to get off or throw a good punch, but he was pinned. Hermione was trying to pull me off, but it was useless. She then came to her senses and pull out her wand. She pointed it at me, and before I knew it, I was hurtling across the room. She rushed over to Malfoy to see if he was hurt, then helped him up.
“Ronald Weasley! What in the hell do you think you are doing!” She yelled, boiling with anger.
“Getting that ferret off of you! What are you doing with him anyways!” I shot back at her. Malfoy seemed to find this quite amusing, for he was standing there with one of his famous smirks.
“Well, he’s changed…” Hermione started, but never finished.
“Chan- CHANGED! Hermione, don’t you remember how he has treated you for the last five years? Do you remember how many times he has called you mudblood? Why would you even waste your time on him!?” I screamed in anger.
“I-I told you. He has um… changed?” Hermione said barely audible. At this, Malfoy finally spoke up.
“Listen to her Weasel; she is your best friend.” He was still smirking triumphantly.
“Don’t talk to me ferret, and no, she isn’t.” I left the room, leaving Hermione in her shocked state.
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside
A week after the drama that occurred with Malfoy, I was still utterly disgusted with Hermione. Harry, to my dismay, only was mad at Hermione for about a day, but afterwards continued talking to her and ignored the topic of Malfoy. As for the rest of the school, they agreed with my reasoning: Slytherins and Gryffindors aren’t meant to cross paths as they had.
I was still quite distraught about the whole matter. I’ve loved Hermione for at least four years now, and Malfoy has only liked her for just a few months. Yet, she chose him! I don’t know… I guess I just need a break from Hermione. Maybe, if I ignore her long enough these feelings will disperse and someone else will come in the picture with me.
If Hermione chooses MALFOY over me, I guess it just isn’t meant for us to be.
A/N: THE END! Alright! Revised ending!! Any better people?? I hope you like it better… It seemed more realistic if at least one of her friends weren’t completely pissed at her. And, I mean, Ron couldn’t get over Hermione in a week like how it was written before! Ok, well please review on the new stuff! Thankies, bye!
Oh, and take note: I am a girl trying to write in a guys POV and I don't think that it is one of my strong points =).
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the storyline. Credit goes to Killers for the lyrics and J.K. for the characters.