Chapter 10 : I choose… PART 2: Sirius
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A/N: Well here we are… the very LAST chapter of this story! Wow, now that the time has come it is rather sad… this is the my first ever COMPLETED story! It was rather fun… I might do another You fic… hmmm have any ideas? Anyway, enjoy the very LAST chapter!
Chapter 10: I choose… PART 2: Sirius
‘It’s either me or him,’ Those words still echoed throughout your brain, never ceasing. That’s what he said to you last night on the Astronomy Tower, and then left, leaving you all alone with your confused thoughts. You had sat there last night for who knows how long in a daze before you came to your senses, coming back down and headed to your dormitory where you resided now, tossing and turning in you four-poster bed.
Luckily, it was really late and Lily was already in bed, leaving you free from her questions for the time being. All night you thought of the predicament you were in. You didn’t know what to do. What did somebody do when they were in a situation like this?
On one side there was Remus: sweet, kind, cute, loving Remus who had been your friend from the start. Then on the other side was Sirius: fun, daring, handsome Sirius the bad boy, but also a very sweet guy… when he wanted to be. In your mind, you were racing back and forth to each side, but never daring to cross the lines that divided each.
You stayed like this all night and didn’t stop until you saw a faint light through the window. You decided to get up and get ready. After showering and getting dressed, you grabbed your bag and headed down the stairs. Seeing as it was to early for any sane person to be awake, you didn’t run into anyone. Which, right now, was a very good thing. The last thing you wanted was to be forced to start conversing with people. Your mind only had one thing on it at the moment… or rather two.
You reached the Great Hall and sat down at the deserted Gryffindor table. Not a soul was in sight, not even a teacher. The food also didn’t magically appear in front of you as you sat down, but that was perfectly fine with you.
Tiredly, you place your head in your hands and sighed, leaning against the table for support. Tears of anger, confusion, and exhaustion began to creep into the corners of your eyes, but you quickly stopped them with your finger tips, making sure that not one of them would fall.
Crying was not the thing to do at the moment. You had gotten yourself into this situation and you would be the one to get yourself out of it. Now determined you stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, off to think this whole thing through thoroughly and rationally.
You raced down the hallway, extremely excited, but yet also nervous at the same time. You had made your decision, but once you had made it you didn’t understand why it took you so long to realize. It was now already mid-way into the afternoon, you had spent the entire day so far in the confines of Myrtle’s Bathroom. After managing to ignore all the wailing, you were able to think about your decision clearly. You were sure that Lily and maybe some of your other friends were worried about you, seeing as you missed both breakfast and lunch, but you would have to explain things (at least the Lily) later.
You continued to race down the hallway, towards the library. You had a feeling he would be there. Upon entering the low-packed, yet stuffy room you hurried towards the back to where his usual table was. Reaching it you frowned, the table was deserted… or so you thought until you spotted a familiar bag sitting in one of the chairs.
Glancing around, you began to walk towards the bookcases. Your search seemed to last forever, or maybe that was due to the fact that your heart was racing a mile a minute with every step you took. Upon reaching the Defense Against the Dark Arts Section you took a deep intake of breath. There he was, standing only a few feet away, seemingly engrossed in the book that was held in his hand, but if you looked closely into his deep blue eyes you would notice that they were slightly unfocused, though just slightly. It took you years of observation to discover all of young Mr. Lupin’s behaviors, and yet sometimes he still managed to surprise you.
Walking slowly forward you managed to get about a foot or so before he looked up, eyes now fully alert. They widened when he realized it was you. He just stood there, not saying a word. Hesitantly, you took another step cautiously forward. He still remained motionless.
“Re- Remus…” you manage to say softly as you slowly look up at him. You were now both barely a foot apart from each other. “Remus,” you said again, yet this time more strongly, “I’ve made my decision.”
His whole expression changed very suddenly, but he still didn’t speak. But now he looked slightly anxious and nervous.
“I’ve decided that…” you paused not sure how to say what you were about to say next. You knew what you wanted to say, you even practiced it on the way here, but you were so nervous that you completely forgot your pre-planned speech. Well, you had to continue, fleeing wasn’t an option. You had to fix this mess once and for all. “I’ve decided that…that… I want to be with Sirius”
He just stared at you for a moment, blankly. Then he lowered his head and nodded.
“I’m really sorry Remus…” you say slowly, also slightly lowering your head, “but every time I think about it I can only seem to picture you and me as friends. I really hope that we can continue to be…”
You stand there for a moment, just hoping that he might look up. He doesn’t, so you turn around and slowly make your way out of the library. You really wished that Remus might at least come after you to tell you everything between you two would be okay, and that you both could remain friends…but he didn’t. Hopefully in time you two would be able to fix all your problems.
You made your way back towards the Gryffindor Tower. You were very anxious, you had NO IDEA what you were going to say to him. Maybe that was better… if you prepared a speech then you would completely forget it when you looked up into those amazingly gray eyes of his. You smiled at the thought of him.
“Yellow singing baby bubblegum,” You say to the Fat Lady who was staring at you from her place in her portrait.
“I’m sorry dear but that is no longer the password,” she says shortly.
“What!” you exclaim as you raise both your eyebrows at her, “When did they change it?”
“This morning I’m afraid…” she replies, “Now if you don’t have the password I’m afraid I cannot help you.” She then turns to look into a fancy, silver pocketsize mirror that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
“How can then just change the password like that!” you were extremely aggravated at the moment and seemed to find it helpful to take it out on the innocent portrait, who was currently ignoring your existence.
“Tapioca pudding is weird,” says a masculine voice behind you.
“What?” you say in extreme confusion about to turn around when the portrait swung open.
Someone walks up behind you gently placing a hand on your shoulder.
“I know,” they say, you turn your head to see it’s Sirius, you face then turning four shades of red, “I don’t know what tapioca pudding is either…” He says with a fake sigh and then suddenly brightens up.
“Well,” he says happily, “ladies first…”
You raise an eyebrow at him. You thought that he might want to know why you went chasing after Remus. You figured you should forget about it and were about to climb through the portrait hole, when you remember something that you must do.
“Sirius,” you say while turning around, “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Don’t see why not,” he says as he began to lean against the stone wall, giving you his extra sexy smile.
“Not here,” you say looking around, noticing that the portrait hole was still open, and carefully closing it. You turned back to see Sirius giving you a questioning look. But he nods and straightens up. “Where to?”
You start walking quickly down the hall, not even checking to make sure he was following, you knew he was. You traveled down hallway after hallway, up and down stairways (even though you only wanted to go down), and then finally you reached the main doors that led out to the grounds. You pushed then open and only stopped once you reached the lake, then turning around.
Sirius stopped too and he gave you a confused look.
“What’s this all about?” he asks.
“I…I… just want to talk,” you say trying to avoid his eyes. You see his body tense a bit and look up to see a strange look in his face.
“It’s alright, I already know…” He says in slightly strained voice.
You stare at him, utterly confused, “What are you talking about?”
“I know that you like Remus,” his face darkens slightly, “And I just want you to know that I’m completely okay with it… I won’t stand in your way.” He then turns away from you and faces the lake.
“Sirius…” you say softly, but he doesn’t turn back around. You then place your hand gently on his shoulder and try to make him turn. He does, though he doesn’t look into your face. He instead seems to find the ground extremely interesting.
“Sirius… It’s true, I thought I liked Remus,” you see his eyes narrow, “Bu- but I also… I also knew that I had feeling for you, too.”
He looks up slightly at this for a second, but then turns back to the ground.
“So you brought me here to tell me this why?” he says, you can hear the anger in his voice, “It’s obvious that Remus liked you... You’ve always been there for him, ALWAYS. I’ve never had anyone there for me like that…” He seemed to be talking more to himself than to you. You try to say something, but he continues on, “And it’s obvious that you would fall for someone like Remus… he’s so sweet and kind.” He says this with a sneer.
“Do you know that I’ve liked you since fourth year?” he says while looking at you, caring and sincerity in his eyes. Your mouth drops at this, “But I never said anything because of him…” You can’t believe what your hearing!
“You and him were always so close, I never had a chance…”
“Sirius…” you say softly.
“I should have just gave up a long time ago…”
“Sirius,” you say a little more louder.
“But then the most amazing thing happened! You actually started to like me a little… That night in the common room was a dream come true…"
“Sirius!” you practically scream, but he stops abruptly and looks up at you, opening his mouth to speak, but you immediately cut him off. “Sirius… I had NO idea you felt that way,” he looked down slightly, “And Remus and I have always been great friends… though in the last couple of days it may have seemed like more. I had no idea if I liked him just as a friend or not…”
“And then he kissed me and told me he loved me…” it seemed that you were now the one who was talking more to yourself, but it seemed so good to get this all out in the open. You did slightly see Sirius race his head, his mouth hanging ajar at what you just said.
“And I had no idea what to do! I didn’t know what to think… I also really, REALLY liked you!” You were now beginning to pace back-and-forth.
“But Remus and I have always been so close. It took me forever but I finally came to a realization. Remus and I have always been close, true, but I don’t think I could ever consider him as anything but a friend.”
You now turn back to Sirius, walking towards his slightly. He’s just standing there looking at you with surprise.
“Sirius, I- I,” you were now less than a foot apart, “I like you a lot, a REAL lot, and I jus-” you were cut off by Sirius, who came over his state of shock, and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to him, lowering his lips and placing them on yours, giving you the most amazing kiss that you ever experienced.
You felt wonderful. Nothing in the world could make you feel any greater than standing here with Sirius, both of you holding each other. Your life felt absolutely perfect, for no longer was your brain jumbled with all those confusing thoughts and questions asking you “what to do?”.
A/N: It’s over!!! I can’t believe it’s actually over! I hope you guys enjoyed this story! I got really stuck with the ending for Sirius, but I think it came out pretty good… Please review! Tell me what you thought of the whole story!
Thank you SOOO much for reading, and now I want to personally thank all of those who took the time to review any of my chapters, thank you guys so much it means A LOT to me! I would list you all but there are so many! Thanks again, and I hope to maybe see you looking into my future stories!