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Mrs. Potters Lullaby by JaxGranger
Chapter 1 : Mrs. Potters Lullaby
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 23

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The Lyrics to "Mrs. Potters Lullaby" belong to The Counting Crows and Adam Duritz, and, as always, characters belong to JKR :) Enjoy!

Well I woke up in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast

He woke slowly, rubbing his eyes, and the sun poured in the window. His heart sank, feeling as if his chest might burst with the pain of the dream he just escaped.

Its always the same, night after night. He’s in a room full of people he doesn’t know, but they’re all greeting him like an old friend. The room is churning and he feels lost and terrified. Then all of a sudden, he sees his mothers eyes, her smile. He runs straight into her arms, sobbing. He begs her to save him from the hordes of people grabbing for his attention. She hold him quietly, never speaking, rubbing his back, while he cries, tugging her long red hair with his small baby hands. Just as it used to be.

The movie in his mind plays night after night, haunting his subconscious. No one understands... They’ll never understand.

Well, I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame
and though I'll never forget your face,
sometimes I can't remember my name

His life is a circus. Of fame and jealousy. Of friendship and love. He is tossed from stardom to insanity by public opinion, and his every movement judged. There are times when he shuts out his best friends, thinking that they are only there for him because he’s “the boy who lived”. In these terrifying moments, he retreats inside himself; staring off into the sunset through the window of the castle. Fearing that his whole life is just a lie, created by others to give reason to the downfall of Evil. He doesn’t want to be famous...

All he really wants is to hear his mothers voice one last time.

Hey Mrs. Potter don't cry
Hey Mrs. Potter I know why but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

On one such night, when Harry was feeling more withdrawn and terrified than ever, he decided to talk to his mother in the dream, and beg her to speak to him; tp give him guidance, advice... anything. He murmured as he fell asleep, “please be there for me tonight, mum. I need you.”

Well, there's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything

Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
And the ghosts of the tilt-a-whirl will linger inside your head
And the ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When I see you a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

He tossed and turned all night. His dreams had him running from something unseen and terrible. He tried to keep focus on his mother, but she was no where to be found. Around every corner were the most horrific events of his young life...

Cedric crumpled in the graveyard next to the triwizard cup.

Sirius falling through the veil.

Dumbledore dying at the hands of Snape.

Harry screamed at the images, “I couldn’t help you! I could never help you! You died because I wasn’t good enough to help you.” He fell to his knees, crying “I couldn’t help... I can never help... everyone I love dies. I am a curse.”

Then all of a sudden, there are warm arms wrapped around him. His hands tremble as he sees a lock of red hair fall into his eyes.

“Mum, please help me. All I see is the pain I’ve not been able to stop... the pain I’ve caused by just being Harry Potter...”

She smoothed his unruly hair, and stared at his face. Their eyes are mirrors, and in them is the key to unlock the door to Harry’s closed heart.

Hey Mrs. Potter don't go
Hey Mrs. Potter I don't know but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

“Mummy...I miss you. Talk to me...please Mummy... talk to me.”

All the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep

He awakes... keenly aware of the darkness. “Why was I evicted from this dream, when I was so close to getting what I needed?” He felt panic rise in his chest. He had to get back to sleep.

He tossed and turned painfully. “Just let me get back to her.” he pleaded with the air.

After what seemed like hours, he drifted again into sleep.

So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well, I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
But I'd sure like to find out
So why don't you climb down off that movie screen

Running again, he’s returned to his dream. He knew that if he could face the demons of his mind long enough, that he could find her again.

Running down the black corridors, he finds only death and pain around every corner.

“Mum!?” He pleaded “Mum, where are you?”

He fell to his knees, and as it always happens, there she was; warming him from the inside with her tender touch and happy smile.

Hey Mrs. Potter don't turn
Hey Mrs. Potter I burn for you
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

“Mum, I really don’t want this anymore.” he confessed, “I’m so grateful that you died to save me, but sometimes I feel like you shouldn’t have bothered...”

She put her finger to his lips and her expression became one of disappointment. Very slowly, she moved beside him and turned him to face his fears one by one.

They watched his battles replayed in live action. They watched as Harry fought and saved so many of the people he loved.

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
and orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for
That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before
So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door...

One by one he saved lives. As he watched his fights he knew that he would be the one to defeat Evil and win the war once and for all.

His mother took his hand, and led him out the nearest door.

We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up in the palace like it's the last of the great pioneer town bars
We shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
You can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far

She brought him to the front yard of a familiar house, and laid down on the grass facing the sky. He followed suit and cuddled up next to her. He stared up at the blanket of stars, feeling more complete than he ever had before. He could see future battles written in the sky, and he could only hope that he would win them.

Lily turned her head and looked into her son’s eyes. He tried to read her thoughts, but they were too complex. “Mum, just talk to me... tell me. Please” he whispered

She drew in a deep breath.

Hey Mrs. Potter I won't touch
Hey Mrs. Potter it's not much but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

“Harry, you must listen to me.” she whispered softly, “Love is all you have. I gave it to you, and it saved your life over and over. Now, you must learn to love others. Hermione and Ron love you so much Harry. Molly, Arthur, and Remus... Harry, they loved us, but they love you even more. Love them Harry. Give the gift that I gave you. It will save their lives time and again, as it saved yours...”

“Mum, I miss you.” Harry whispered as he choked back tears, “I wish you were alive, to guide me, to watch me, and help me”

“Harry, I am with you every moment of everyday.” She smiled, “Dad and I sit with you while you’re in class, while you get in trouble with Ronald, and until you tuck into bed. And then I sit by you, watching while you sleep. I love you Harry. Dad loves you. Your friends are your family them Harry.”

Harry heard a noise behind him, and wiped his tears so he could see clearly. At the door of the house at Godric’s Hollow stood his father, James, and Sirius waving.

“Lily, come on in its freezing!” James shouted

“Alright Harry... this is where I leave you.” She put a hand on his shoulder, seeing him try to get up and go in with her, “You can’t come in -- not yet. But we’ll be here, watching you. We love you Harry.”

She rose and strode toward the door, James and Sirius leaned out the door, “Hiya Harry” James waved, “That was a great catch at the Ravenclaw match last weekend, very proud, son. Very proud.”
Harry felt his chest swell as Sirius reached passed James, “Harry! Say hi to Buckbeak for me, and tell Hermione to loosen up, she’s passed her Arithmancy exam.”

“We love you Harry” Lily smiled. “Take care darling.”

Harry woke that morning feeling light. He pulled back his bed curtain, and looked to the sun shining in the morning light. For a moment the sun turned brilliant green and winked. Harry smiled, “Good Morning Mum...I love you too.”

A/N: Thanks for reading!! :) Go ahead and review -- I can take it! :)

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