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Harry Potter and the Tears of a Shadow by LizPsky
Chapter 4 : Chapter Three: Best Not to Dwell
 
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 6


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Chapter Three: Best Not Dwell

A/N: I still can’t get photoshop. It always crashes at “Initializing IFC Colors”. Anyone know anything about Photoshop? I really need it to work! Better yet, anyone have the installation files??? LizPsky@msn.com email me if you do!


“Was it you who spoke the words,
that things would happen but not to me.
All things are going to happen naturally.
Oh, I’m taking your advice
and I’m looking on the bright side and
balancing out the whole thing.”
~ “You and I Both”, Jason Mraz


Livi de Tomel awoke in an energized fashion and walked down to the Great Hall in the same robes she had been wearing yesterday. Snape was speaking to Dumbledore in low tones while Dumbledore chuckled to himself and Snape grew more infuriated. A pale sickly man sat at the edge of the table with Madame Pomfrey talking somberly.

“Ah! Professor de Tomel!” Dumbledore beamed at her as Livi self consciously made her way to the table.

A strict looking woman with a tight black bun stood up and shook Livi’s hand. She looked the same as she had when Livi, no, Dorcas, had left Hogwarts.

“Minerva McGonagall of Transfiguration,” she greeted briskly.

“Livi de Tomel, I’m the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.”

Livi took a seat at the between the peaky looking man and Snape. It wasn’t until Livi saw the large scar running from the man’s right ear to his shoulder that she realized who he was, for Livi had been with him when that scar had been gained. It had been one of the worst Death Eater raids in history.

Yet it was hard to believe that it wasn’t her. It was Dorcas Meadowes; she was now Livi de Tomel and it was going to be hard getting used to that.

“Remus Lupin,” he extended his hand wearily.

Livi smiled and shook it. His hands felt exactly the same as they had been before she died. Callused yet gentle and caring.

When did he get so old? She thought sadly, looking into his tired eyes.

“Livi de Tomel.”

“Watch the Defense position,” he began playfully, though his eyes were pained and galaxies away; his skin was pale and he wasn’t eating much. It must’ve been the full moon soon. “It’s cursed.” Lupin explained.

“Now, now, Mr. Lupin,” Snape sneered. “This one may actually be able to keep the job unlike others I could name…Like the Death Eater, Pompous Fake, Werewolf,” Snape seemed to relish saying that one. “Or the Polyjuice Pretender and how can we forget the lovely Ministry Maniac? But of course the students loved the werewolf.” Snape finished, looking pointedly at Lupin.

Livi actually looked to see if there was venom dripping off of Snape’s tongue.

“What is your problem, Sevvie?” Livi snapped angrily towards Snape. “That is Mr. Lupin’s business, and not your own.”

“Oh, but it is…” Snape sneered.

“It’s not his fault, Ms. de,” Lupin began quietly.

“Oh,” Livi interrupted, “but it is. It’s Sevvie’s fault for being a biased jerk.”

“Do not call me Sevvie. I am not some bloody dog!” Snape hissed. “Unlike some…” he added in a deadly quiet tone.

“Enough!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “Professor de Tomel, please. And Professor Snape, I suggest you place childhood grudges aside. There is a war going on and we are all on the same side. You’re acting like fifth years!”

Not far from it, Dumbledore…

After breakfast Livi found herself wandering the halls of Hogwarts, not quite ready to go into Diagon Alley. The school seemed the same as it had been nearly twenty years ago when she had attended. There were a few more worn marks on the floor and there seemed to be a mini swamp growing in part of the castle. Livi looked down at the marsh thoughtfully.

“Fred and George Weasley’s work.” A calm voice stated from behind her.

Livi swung around so fast she almost hit Remus.

“Mr. Lupin, you should be resting. You look simply dreadful.”

“Being a werewolf does that, Ms. de Tomel.”

“Please call me Livi.” She smiled.

“If you call me Remus?” he offered.

Livi smiled but inside her heart was breaking. She wanted to run up and hug him so badly. To kiss him senseless and have him swing her around like a cliché ending to an old Muggle romance movie. But life was never simple and this was no exception.

“So,” Livi took a deep breath, unsure of what to say.

“Are you afraid of me, Livi?” Remus asked simply.

Livi snorted. “I’m as much afraid of as I am of Sevvie.”

“Poppy insists that with the Wolfsbane potion that I should stay in my quarters. I just wanted to check to see if it was okay with you if I did so.” He paused and looked at her like a small child does his mummy when he’s afraid. “Is that alright?”

The Astronomy tower was empty that night; Remus Lupin was sitting near the edge with Dorcas Meadowes’ small hands in his strong ones. The moon was a small sliver of nothing and the stars twinkled playfully above their heads and as their lips grew closer, the two prefects, one a Gryffindor, one a Ravenclaw, looked deeply into each other’s eyes. There was nothing of undying love in those eyes and in the heat of the moment they didn’t hear the sounds of unwanted footsteps as the male Slytherin prefect crept towards them.

When the lovers parted, Severus Snape was looking down on them in disgust.

“Meadowes,” Snape drawled. “And Lupin? My, what a couple you are. Hogwarts’ most desirable girl has gone to the dogs.” Snape smirked then said, “Litterally.”

“What’s he talking about, Rem?” Dorcas asked, confused.

Snape laughed loudly. “Y-You mean he hasn’t told you? Oh this is grand. Well I won’t be the one to spoil this relationship.” He turned swiftly on his heal and walked away, but not without a last comment. “By the way, I’m sure Dumbledore will be thrilled to hear that both the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor seventh year prefects were snogging under the moonlight.”

Pain was clearly etched across Remus’ face and Dorcas looked at him sympathetically.

“You’re a werewolf aren’t you?” It was such a simple question with such a complex answer.

“Do you want the answer I wish was true or the one that is? One involves a perfectly normal Remus while the other involves a horrible monster that doesn’t deserve to attend Hogwarts or know you or any of my friends for that matter.”

Dorcas didn’t answer him right away but rather pulled him into one of the strongest hugs she could muster.

“Never,” she whispered sharply in Remus’ ear. “Ever think you are worse than that jerk. You are so much better than every other student here at Hogwarts and I don’t want you to forget it. Werewolf or not, you’re the one I love.”

“How could you love me?” Remus whispered bitterly, his head on her shoulder.

“Well, Rem,” Dorcas began simply. “You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, you’re brave, you have the greatest sense of humor and,” Dorcas pushed a strand of hair from his face and kissed his nose. “It’s always going to be forever you, me and the stars, Rem.”

“You, me and the stars.” Remus repeated as he nudged his head into her long red hair, taking in the smell of herbs and citrus. “I love you, Orca.”

“And I you, Rem.”

** ** **

The woman’s face had gone blank and her eyes had glazed over a bit, changing from their pale blue to a sharp turquoise flecked with silver. A single tear fell from her eye as she stared into nothing.

“Livi, Livi? Ms. de Tomel!” Remus began to get louder, trying to bring her back from wherever she was. “Livi de Tomel!”

The woman’s body gave a sharp jolt and she looked at Remus strangely. “Sorry, what did you say?” she asked quietly.

“When I transform tonight, under the influence of the Wolfsbane potion, is it alright with you if I stay in my room?”

“Perfectly fine.” Livi assured him. “Remus, I think you’ve under estimated me. I’m not biased in any way towards werewolfs. Slimey gits like Snape on the other hand…”

Remus snorted. “Want a tour of the castle?”

“I’m guessing you attended?”

You know it better than most, but then again, you showed them to me for snogging… James and Sirius just thought you were breaking into the Restricted Section. Ha!

“Second in my class,” Remus stated proudly.

“Who was the first?”

Let’s see if you’re still ashamed of losing to your girlfriend…

“A Ravenclaw by the name of Dorcas Meadowes.” Remus sighed. “She was something else.”

Merlin! Why are you doing this to me? I hate you Sirius Black. This is your fault.

“Would you show me around, Remus?”

“It’d be my pleasure.”

** ** **

Harry Potter stared down nervously at the thick envelope in his hands. It had arrived nearly minutes ago and Harry was unsure of whether he wanted to look or not. Dudley was downstairs whining about something Harry was sure that Dudley had to have or he would just die.

Death is a funny thing. Harry thought to himself. I mean, Sirius died protecting me and my friends while my mum and dad died protecting me. Am I really worth it?

Somewhere in the back of Harry’s head, a voice reminded Harry of the Prophecy. Harry shut his eyes tightly trying to squeeze it from his mind. He had enough stress with the envelope in his hands. Knowing that he was the only hope for the Wizarding Community and even Muggle community scared him. It scared him senseless because he couldn’t do it. Harry couldn’t imagine himself defeating the darkest wizard in the world. But he had to or else…

No! Not now!

Reluctantly Harry tore open the envelope. The first was a letter from Minerva McGonagall about supplies. The next was a short note from Albus Dumbledore.

Dear Hogwarts Student and or Family,

As many of you are aware of, Voldemort has returned. As an extra precaution, Hogwarts’ wards have been strengthened and Aurors will be patrolling the school grounds at all times, along with the Hogwarts Express. An earlier curfew will also be enforced as will several other rules. The safest place for your children is Hogwarts.

Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Harry sighed and threw the two letters aside. He had quickly glanced from each grade, pleased to know that he had gotten into NEWT level Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures and Transfiguration. The last letter was his Potions grade. It was slimmer than all of the other letters. Harry vacantly wondered if he really wanted to be an Auror now that he knew what his true purpose in life was.

Shrugging nervously, Harry tore open the envelope.

Potter, Harry

Potions Written: Acceptable

Potions Practical: Acceptable

Overall Grade: Acceptable


Harry felt his heart sink. He wasn’t going to be an Auror after all.


Author's Note: So, I was super lazy on updating... Sorry. Chapter four hasn't been started yet. School is proving to be a pain.


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