A/N: actually this should be in the discaimer too. the excerpt from Tonks book isn't mine, my brother wrote it... he's the one who came up with the whole Patter Familias stuff. acording to him it's a latin expression used in ancient Rome, and basically it meant that women were nothing but dirt compared to men.
Mangled soldier, wounded in battle…
August 3rd, My Auror Office, 10:03 am
Current score: Tonks 1, Lupin 3
Current mood: Burning with the Fire of a thousand suns…
Number of times I tried to curse myself: 8
Number of times I forgot what I was doing and found myself wondering where a certain werewolf could be: 54
Number of times I went to the window to scream like a banshee and release my frustration. 17
WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?
Why is the Universe punishing me so much?
Is this Karma? Or am I just so thick I can’t even succeed with a simple plan? Excuse me, but I’ll just go to my window and scream one more time….
Ok, I’m back now… Why is everyone staring at me?
Plan A for operation TLSW is now a mangled soldier, wounded in battle…
I know what you’re thinking right now…. What could go wrong with a brilliant plan like that?
I know! That’s what I thought too… but NOOOOOOOOOO, Mr Remus John Lupin had to ruin everything... again…
I woke up at exactly 7.00 am. I took a shower, used my strawberry body lotion, put on a pair of jeans and a light pink top (not that I was trying to impress someone or anything…)
At 7:29am I was on top of the stairs. I heard a door opening and Ginny came out. Hermione’s head appeared behind the door and smiled at me. Ginny gave me the thumbs up and headed to the kitchen… so far, so good.
I heard the sound of something breaking and Molly’s scream “Ginevra, be more careful please!”
“It’s time” I thought. I gracefully entered the kitchen, gliding like a fairy as I greeted “Good morning everyone!”
Then I realised something was wrong…´
WHERE THE HELL WAS REMUS?
On one side of the table I could see Ron, eating what seemed to be at least a dozen pancakes and Ginny by his side with a frustrated look. In front of them was Sirius, smiling lightly and Harry, who by some reason beyond my comprehension wasn’t eating at all and was just staring at his hands.
“Are you going to sit or are you going to keep staring at us like that, dear cousin?” Sirius asked
“Sure…” I sat and looked at Ginny demanding as explanation.
She probably understood because she turned to Harry “Sorry again for breaking your cereal bowl Harry…”
“It’s ok, Ginny, it’s not like you did it on purpose or anything…”
“Bummer…” I whispered under my breath…
“What did you just say, dear cousin?” Sirius asked with an amused look
“Ginny would you pass the butter please?” Harry interrupted
“Yeah, Ginny would just love to pass you the butter” Ron made no attempt to hide his laughter
“Mind your own business, Roniekins” replied Ginny, whose ears were now turning the Weasley shade.
Why wasn’t he there? I though he always slept and had breakfast at Grimmauld Place! I tried to casually ask Sirius where Lupin was, but instead of answering me, he kept giving me suspicious looks and asking why I was so interested…
Fine don’t tell…
See if I care…
Ginny and Hermione tried to cheer me up before I came to work. Hermione kept pointing out that it wasn’t really Lupin’s fault that the plan didn’t work, because he wasn’t even there and he couldn’t possibly know about the plan… I tell you, Hermione is a sweet girl but she can be deadly annoying sometimes…
Nevertheless, her singing card was terrific.
Too bad there wasn’t anyone interesting to hear it…
you’re just too good to be true
can’t take my eyes off of you
you’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…”
It was something like that, I think she copied it from a muggle song, I think my Dad had an album like that…but I still had to put up with Sirius’ jokes about it…
My life sucks…
Moody just came in… I was sulking in my desk and aparently he though I was ill, because he told me I could take the rest of the day off, if I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t know I was looking so bad… or maybe he noticed those couple of times I screamed in the window… or that time I shove off Kingsley from my office… or when I put that Belinda Arrowsmith in the verge of tears when she came in…it was just a quill, why make such a fuss about it?it’s not like I was going to shove it down her throat or anything…
I think Moody underestimates me… I’m feeling perfectly fine!
I’m just upset because the plan didn’t work… but WHY WASN’T HE THERE?
What if something happened to him? I don’t want him to die … or anything permanent by the way… especially to his face…
Pig just came in with a letter…
It’s a double letter from Ginny and Hermione! Operation TLSW is back!
We asked Mrs Weasley why Professor Lupin wasn’t here (and yes we were subtle). Apparently he left really early for an Order assignment. But he’ll be back by the end of the day! You have to come over for dinner; you could start with plan B!
I know Hermione already explained everything so I won’t waist my time… Don’t forget to come over for dinner!!! You can try to make him jealous again and show him just how much Tonks Loves the Sexy Werewolf…
Ok, why is Ginny insisting on this? I don’t know where she got the idea that I could possibly fancy that man! Can you believe she actually thinks that that’s why I’m doing this? Yeah right, FAT CHANCE!
But they have a point… he’ll be there for dinner…
Look out everyone, ‘cause, honey, Tonks is back in the game!
Grimmauld Place, Kitchen,11:36pm
Current mood: enough to break his neck
Current score: Tonks:2 Lupin:5
The first part of the evening went pretty good…
As always my dear cousin Sirius saved the day! (I really have to get him a NICE Christmas present.)Let me explain…
We were having dinner, you know as always, that’s not really important. Here’s the good stuff.
Me: So, Remus, how was your day? I didn’t saw you at breakfast…
Remus: it was fine, thank you. I had to leave early. Actually I didn’t even had to leave that early, because breakfast took half the time it usually takes.
( Bloody git. He doesn’t have to throw in my face that I wasn’t there to break his mug, and that’s why he took half the time… point for Lupin...again…)
Sirius: Moony, you have no idea what you missed today! Great show we had at breakfast… our dear Tonks received a singing card. I didn’t even know they still made that stuff…So romantic… almost draw a tear…
YAY! Point for me! Never mind if I blushed furiously after Sirius said that… Can You believe he actually choke on his food? (Remus, not Sirius…)
When dinner was over, Hermione and Ginny kept giving me those looks, telling me to go on with plan B. Plan B was Hermione’s idea. Apparently I’m supposed to impress him with my overwhelming intellect. So I went to the drawing room where he goes every night and sat on a couch near the fire after picking up a random book from the shelve. He was writing something, probably a report for the order I guessed, and I think he didn’t even noticed me. I HAD to do something…
He lifted his eyes from his report as I settled mine on my book.
“Is something wrong Tonks? Do you need something?”
“Remus! I didn’t even noticed you were there! I was just so absorbed in my reading, this is such a revealing book, you should try it some time!”
“Really? Can I take a look?”
As he started to skim through the pages he made a face that was something between bewilderment and plain stunned. For a brief moment I thought I’ve done it; my plan… well Hermione’s plan had worked. He was clearly impressed with me… or so I thought.
Hermione’s indeed the cleverest witch of her age. I should have known better than to ask Ginny for help…
“Interesting…” he said as he handed me back the book and continued on his report.
That’s when it hit me. What was I reading anyway?
I looked at the title: Patter Familias II: A Women’s role in the wizarding world.. It doesn’t sound so bad., it’s probably a feminist essay or something!
I wonder who the writer is? Phineas N.Black? I started too get worried… I just read a bit of the preamble and it was enough to tell me I blew it again.
Patter Familias II: A Women’s role in the wizarding world is a worthy continuation of Patter Familias I: the Head of the House. Accompany us in this journey with the distinct Wizard Phineus Black, Hogwarts Headmaster, that show us his thoughts about the vital corner stone of the wizarding society: family. After reading the first volume of this collection, where it is traced the fundamental role of the husband in the family, don’t miss this new instalment where it clearly is stated the need a woman has of subjection to a man, in order to accomplish a fulfilling and enjoyable life.
Subjection to a man? FULFILLING AND ENJOYABLE LIFE?
What’s this rubbish? I can’t believe this guy was my ancestor.
I kind of panicked and ran for my life. What else could I do? Oh Merlin, if he thought I was pathetic before, now he has the proof.
It was going all so well… typical.
Point for Lupin.
Which brings us to today’s resolution: no more Miss-nice-girl.
Time for drastic measures.
Remus is going down… hard!!!
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