Okay. I am back. What a day. We lost against Huffle-pucking-fuff. Whoops. Hufflepuff. IT’S HUFFLEPUFF FOR GOD’S SAKE! HUFFLEPUFF! QUIDDITCH! HUFFLEPUFF! IT DOESN’T FIT! I SHOULD SHOOT RON! HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAVE A FRICKIN’ BALL! HE SHOULD BE SMACKED IN THE IN THE NUTS!
Okay...I’m cool. NOOOO. I’m not. I’m going to kill everyone on the damn team. Like what the hell. I think everyone had a piano tied behind their ass. HUFFLEPUFF! I swear their on steroids. Like one was foaming out of his mouth and then attacked a 5 year old kid and then a vein exploded in his head and he died. Aww. How tragic. NOT!
HUFFLEPUFF DOESN’T FIT WITH QUIDDITCH! THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON IN THE SECOND YEAR! WALKING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS! And then their hero, Cedric Diggory-doo, became a competitor in the Triwizard Tournament. And then I became one. Everyone turned away from me, saying Cedric was the true Hogwarts Champion thingy. HE’S A HUFFLEPUFF! I AM HARRY POTTER! I STOPPED VOLDEMORT AND FOUGHT HIM EVERY YEAR SINCE I CAME TO HOGWARTS! AND THEN CEDRIC DIES! NOW WHO’S THE SMARTER ONE? HUH?! CAN YOU TELL ME?! IT’S ME!
Okay...I’m good. Okay and Hermione must be on the rag or something because she bitched me out for hours. No no no no. Remember, I’m Harry Potter. I’ll kill you. Whoa, slow down Harry ole’ boy. Okay now what else can I bitch about ummm..... oh yes Draco Malfoy got in my way so I gave him my left right left and his ass was on the floor like that, and now im serving detention with Snape. Holy hell there’s one thing that guy doesn’t know what to do is shower. Holy, like I mean whew... that was bad. Here’s some deodorant. Oh crap, another detention for saying it out loud. Then after that I had to go to talk to Dumb Dumbledore and almost expelled me but nooo, I’m Harry Potter. So no because I’d open one big can of whoop ass on the whole school. Ya that’s right. One more thing... wait I got a lot more than just one thing. Oh well there’s plenty of time to complain and you know what everyone listens because I’m Harry freaking with one mother of a scar on his head Potter!
There goes the bell. Shit! Here comes Snape again. Okay. Just leave...NOW! I get out of the classroom safely. Whew. That was close. Oh no, here comes the Rag Queen, Hermione Granger.
‘Harry! You walked away on a teacher! Do you know what this can do to you?! Do you? You can get in trouble and your already in deep trouble as it is. I think you shouldn’t try and catch Voldemort this year. You have your school work and all, you can’t do all that.’ GOD! Will she ever shut up?! No, I can’t stop looking for Voldemort. I’ve come so far and everyone depends on me! If you don’t think I can do it, then you go! Go on! You’re the smart one! You can cram Voldemort, homework, your Prefect duties and making everyone feel like an idiot next to you into one day! I know you can! So..have fun!
Man...I should be on the rag. I’m starting to act like a bitch. But meh...what do you expect? I live with the Dursley’s for heaven’s sake! How would you like to live in a cupboard under the stairs and go on for days without food!? Sounds like fun doesn’t it!?
Oh yeah...I’m heading off to DADA to see Professor Umbridge, my favourite teacher of all. She says I’m a liar and in graves words into THE BACK OF MY HAND!! This is just wonderful. And she teaches us NOTHING!! I have DA, Dumbledore’s Army, to look forward too. One thing I CAN control, except my enemies...MUAHAHA! Wait...that’s not for awhile. Hee hee.
And why did we call it Dumbledore’s Army anyway? Why isn’t it Harry Potter’s Army or something? I’m the one who teaches all the members! I don’t see Dumbledore dragging his ass down to the Room of Recruitment and teaches the kids every week! I AM HARRY POTTER! I deserve some god damn respect.
Whew. All the yelling in my head. It hurts after awhile. Okay...I don’t think there is...wait! Pump the breaks! CHO CHANG!
Yes...she is fine. Mmm. Sexy. And also...a bitch. Cedric Dickory..hee hee Dickory...anyway Cedric Dickory lover. CAN’T GET THE HELL OVER HIM! SHE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE LOSER IS GONE! DEAD! JUST LIKE DRACO MALFOY WILL BE WHEN I GRADUATE! MUAHAHA!
Wait...forget I said that. Didn’t say a thing. Hmm hmm hmm. Didn’t say it. Nope.
Okay...back to Cho. Ooo... can’t stop thinking of her. GET OUT OF MY THOUGHTS! GET OUT! I, HARRY JAMES POTTER, BOY-WHO-LIVED- wait...I’m starting to sound like Umbridge. Uhh...gross. No way.
Ooo. I should complain about Umbridge! No...wait...I already did. Hee hee. I loose my thoughts sometimes...haha.
Okay...let’s be serious. Sirius...HAHA! They are the same thing! Serious, Sirius! Get it?! I finally did! HAHA! That is so funny. Ah, how the smallest things amuse the smallest minds. Wait..I’m calling myself stupid? Meh.
Okay, seriously. My godfather, Sirius Black, is dead. I cannot believe it! I AM SO FUCKIN’ PISSED OFF! HE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF BELLATRIX LESTRANGE! SHE SOUNDS LIKE A FRICKIN’ MOVIE THEATRE AND SHE IS THE SIZE OF ONE TOO! HAHA....no wait...that’s Pansy. Oh well, there both funny!
Ah...this is great. Wait...I’m supposed to be in classes right now. Meh. I won’t go. Who cares? I SURVIVED THE DARK LORD WHEN I WAS 1!!! HAHA! I CAN DO ANYTHING!!
Uh-oh...people are looking. I shouldn’t have said that out loud. Hee hee. Just pick up your picks and keep walking Harry. Wave to the people. Nod at the little girl who is now running away from you. Good, just keep walking. Whew, close one. Why are they following me?! Shoo! Get away! What? Do I have meat in my back pocket, you vultures!
Oops. That will cause I detention. I hope the girl doesn’t have a book print on her face for the rest of her life. Oo, you can see the writing on her face. Better run!
Well, I will be back if I can out run Filch or Mrs. Norris...damn idiots.
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