Chapter 1 : Things Will Never be the Same
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It was a Friday night in the Gryffindor common room. Students were talking, laughing and playing an occasional game of wizard’s chess in celebration of the weekend. A group of pretty seventh year girls were sitting on one of the window seats, talking about the Hogsmeade trip that was to occur the next day. One of them had bright red hair flowing down her back, and captivating green eyes. Her name was Lily Evans.
“So who are you planning on going with?” Lily's friend, a brown-haired girl named Mary McDonald asked her.
“You know I don't want to go with anyone that has asked me,” Lily replied with a sigh. Mary just shook her head.
“Why don't you ask someone then?” Mary asked her.
"I don't know." Both girls knew the answer to this question was untruthful, but Mary sighed and began chatting with the other girls instead. Lily listened as they talked about who they were going with and what they planned on doing. She knew that her lack of enthusiasm was troubling for her friends, but she didn't care. It was hard pretending to enjoy their company when she would rather be spending time with her best friend. Lily frowned inwardly, and corrected herself. Severus Snape was her ex-best friend, and they could never be friends again. She could never trust him again, or anyone else for that matter.
Over by the fireside, four boys were talking about their plans for the next week's full moon. One of them had extremely messy black hair, and he was leaning in and whispering ideas to the leader of this group, who had sleak black hair and a big grin on his face. A sandy haired boy next to them was rolling his eyes, and a mousy looking boy next to him was looking around cautiously, making sure no one was listening. These boys, nicknamed the Marauders, went by the names Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail, or James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, in the order they were mentioned.
“Should we plan a prank for tomorrow’s Hogsmeade trip?” Sirius asked the group. James shook his head.
“Actually,” he started, “I was planning on asking Lily to go with me,” The whole group laughed at this.
“Prongs, when are you going to give it up,” Remus said with a laugh, “Lily is never going to go out with you!”
“We’ll see about that,” James said with a determined look. He got up and walked over to the window seat where Lily and her friends were sitting.
“Lily,” James said quietly, “Can I have a word?” Lily turned around, and groaned inwardly. Didn’t he ever give up? Her friends giggled as the pair walked to a quiet part of the common room.
“Are you going with anyone to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” James asked her quietly. Lily sighed, she knew where this was going. She hated to turn him down again, but she really didn’t want to go with him. She didn't trust him at all.
“Well, do you want to go with me?” He stared at her intently, while she thought about how to break it to him gently.
“James,” she started slowly, “Why do you keep asking me out? I’ve turned you down more times then anyone can count, and still you keep asking! I don’t want to be like the other girls, OK? I don’t want to be some girl you use and then dump the next day, OK? So could you just leave me alone?”
“You aren’t like the other girls,” he said, and he stared into her green eyes so intently, she had to look away.
“You’re right, I’m not like the other girls,” Lily said angrily, “I’m not going to go out with an arrogant jerk I hardly know, and let him get in my pants! I’m not like that! So stop trying!” James just stared at her with a sad expression on his face.
“Look Lily,” he said sadly, “You’re right, you don’t know anything about me. I thought you were smarter than that, but I guess I don’t know you either. I’ve never done that with a girl before, OK? And I wasn’t planning on hurting you.”
“So if we don’t know each other, then why do you want to go with me so badly?”
“I know that you’re smart, beautiful, and extremely stubborn, and I want to know you better. Is that so horrible?”
“Did you just say I was beautiful?” Lily asked him slowly. Her face was filled with such shock that James laughed.
“Yes, I think I did,” he said sadly. He turned to walk away.
“Wait!” Lily said. He turned back around, and she stood there at a loss for words. Everything he did was so intense, she was unsure of how to respond. She had no idea what to say. The thoughts were pouring through her mind so quickly, she couldn't hold on to any of them. It was like trying to hold on to grains of sand. Everything was spinning around so fast, nothing was real. Lily knew she had to run away, before her feelings caught up with her. She couldn't let him love her, she couldn't let herself be hurt. Severus had hurt her more than she would like to admit.
And while she was thinking of this, James was hating himself for bothering. They didn't know anything about each other, and she didn't want to know him like he wanted to know her. He hated the way he loved her, even though he didn't want to. He didn't want to be hurt anymore, but there was something that wasn't letting him let go. Their eyes locked.
"Never mind!" Lily said all of a sudden. She turned and ran from the common room before he could say anything to stop her. His eyes, she saw the love in his eyes. And she knew right then that she felt it too. James cursed mentally as she ran.
"Good job Prongsie!" Sirius shouted from across the room. The other marauders were laughing their heads off. He sighed, and ran upstairs to get the Marauder's Map. He was sick of being laughed at, sick of not knowing why he was being turned down. He had to talk to her.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" James exclaimed once the map was in his hands. He frantically looked at every place that Lily might be, but he couldn't find the little black dot labled 'Lily Evans'. Finally, he noticed her in the prefect's lounge. Why hadn't he thought of that? Lily was Head Girl after all!
James sprinted down the stairs, passing by the marauders yet again, but this time he didn't care. He ran out of the room, and through the hallways of Hogwarts, until he found the prefect's lounge. He racked his brain for the password. Since he never came here, he didn't remember it. It had to be some sort of candy, since Dumbledore made this one up.
"Ice mice? Acid pops? Chocolate frogs?" The portrait swung open at the last suggestion, and he cautiously went inside. Lily was sitting in a chair by the fireside, staring into the flames. He went over to her, and sat down on the floor in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him. She just wanted to be left alone, and here comes the person she wanted to see least of all. She looked into his eyes, and saw the hurt and love that they held, and she had to look away. She hated how she was falling for him.
"Why do you hate me?" Lily just stared at him as he asked her that.
"I don't hate you," Lily stuttered, "I'm just afraid." That wasn't what James had expected her to say.
"Of what?" Lily hesitated for a moment, she couldn't be scared anymore. She had to face her fears. She had to learn to trust again. She had to let someone love her, and maybe, just maybe, to love them back.
"Of this." She leaned down to where he was sitting on the floor, and kissed him. She pulled away, and he had a look of pure shock on his face, which turned into a smile. He kissed her back, and it was then, that they both knew things between them would never quite be the same.
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