Chapter 1 : Prologue: Hurt
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When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.
My heart wrenched in my chest as I stared at the picture in my hands. They both looked so . . . happy. The two of them looked like they were truly in love.
The man’s name was James Potter, and the woman’s Lily Evans. But believe that Lily is a Potter now.
Lily’s fiery red hair flew around her as James twirled her around. A huge smile brightened up her face, and James had a small grin, barely visible. As James twirled Lily around and around, I could see the diamond on her ring twinkling in the soft light; definitely married
I wish I was her, I wish I could have the man that I love and have him love me back.
My love for him wouldn’t have had to be a secret, and I would know that he truly did love me.
But, I’m not one of those girls falling over themselves to get him to notice me. He hasn’t had those since school. Nor am I one of those women at the Ministry who drop papers just to see his backside as he courteously picks their pages up for them.
Because I’m not.
These feelings I hold, would have never been here if my stupid brother hadn’t made a bet with him. The bet was made because both boys had their egos inflated over the maximum setting. Remus had a problem with that, so he decided to make a bet with them.
Easy enough, right? Remus didn’t know how to win a bet unless it pertained to chocolate; well that’s what they thought.
If they couldn’t make the two girls fall in love with them, then they would have to kiss Snape. But if they did succeed, Remus would have to kiss Snape, or something of the sorts.
Firstly, to be fair, they had to find two girls that weren’t head over heels for them.
Well, Remus didn’t have to look far, he found two girls straight away who didn’t fanaticize about devouring their faces. They were Winifred Black and Carrey Winters.
So, the two of them had to be apart of the bet but only Winifred, more commonly known as Winnie knew about it since Sirius was her twin brother. Carrey happened to be Winnie’s best friend and she secretly knew about the bet without the three boys knowing.
Winnie and Carrey had to ‘date’ or a least try to tolerate the two birdbrains for at least one term. In the silence of the Gryffindor common room, you could hear Carrey and Winnie complain about the two boys, but slowly their complaining ceased and soon if you listened closely you could hear the two girls practically praising the guys.
After the bet had finished, Winnie and James had become a couple, but as the year drew to an end, they slowly began to drift apart.
I went into this phase, where I would say him and her instead of James and Lily.
James had torn my heart out, and Lily had taken him from me, and also helped with the tearing,
I had written a little piece about them.
Would you like to here?
I can’t believe how horrible he is, leaving me for her.
I used to dream that his hazel eyes only focused on me, and everything else was just a swirl of colour.
But now I realize that I was wrong.
His eyes centered on all the girls he could get into bed with.
The only reason he kept me around was because he liked the challenge. He liked annoying me, and then making me rethink my choices. He loved playing with me, I realize now. He loved to use me as a toy, when other girls were out, he used me as his doll. When my brother, and his two other best friends were out, he would use me.
I hate him more now, than I did when I saw him with her; devouring each other’s faces. Was that really them though? He never came after me when I sobbed aloud. It might not have been him then, but it probably was.
I’ve had time to go over every detail of our relationship, the talks we had, and the looks in his eyes, how he reacted around her. I never got any hints there, but maybe I was looking, but I wasn’t really seeing.
Maybe I was just so happy that I had found the person that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
Maybe I was glad to be in the spot light for once. One of the only girls he had dated that stayed with him for over a week.
Maybe, just maybe I didn’t want to believe it when I saw it.
You were the one.
I knew it in my heart.
We were to be together.
Forever, never apart.
I remember, flying back to the house, grabbing my wedding scrapbook, and flying back to the school.
I remember picking a wedding dress out of the scrapbook and everything else, because I thought we were going to get married.
I remember thinking that we would never be apart.
I remember saying to myself, I would never cheat on him, I would be loyal to the end. And it’s true. I haven’t been with a man since I ran away.
And even though I haven’t seen him for so long, I can picture his face, his eyes, and his soul in my mind. Well, actually, I have a photo, but their child and his love are in it.
I know that we aren’t together any more. I know that he doesn’t love me anymore. But I still can’t bear to let go of him.
We were in love.
I could see it in your eyes.
I could feel it in my veins.
I never noticed your lies.
I think that he was in love with me for a while, before I became boring.
At the beginning he would wait for me after classes, and we would walk to the lake sit down and watch the Giant Squid float around.
When ever I was near him, my heart began to beat faster, and I could actually feel the blood pumping in my veins, and that’s when I knew I was in love.
But, towards the end, I hardly ever saw him. He wasn’t waiting for me after class, instead he was in tutoring.
My brother had told me once, that they were pranksters, but they were very smart, much to our class mates’ dismay.
If he was smart, why was he tutoring? That was the first question my newest friend Abbey had asked me. But, I brushed her aside, thinking that he was probably helping someone out.
But, when our nightly talks were cut to an end, I would run up to my room and cry. When someone would ask, I would say I miss my owl Midnight, who had died a few weeks prior. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t crying for that reason, but I made myself believe that I was.
I began hearing stories a few days before he broke it off. People had told me they saw them kissing in hallways between classes. People saw them by the lake, sucking each other’s face off. People told me that they were even having sex with each other.
Just because I have different virtues than her, doesn’t make me a bad girlfriend does it? Just because I wouldn’t make love to him, doesn’t mean he should cheat on me does it?
I told my brother of my worries, but he just shook me off, saying that I was being silly, and then accused me of cheating on the man I love.
So, I was hurt and confused. It was hard not to hear what the school was saying; it was hard not to grow green with jealousy when I saw the two of them together. But, the hardest part, was trying to convince myself that he was cheating.
You always loved her.
You never loved me.
You left me behind.
For all the world to see.
I guess I had always known deep down, that he would never change. He would never be the man I thought he could be. Well, he did change.
Through the thoughts of my brother, which ran through my head many times over the year, he had committed himself to her. They got married and had a baby boy. Who would be sixteen years of age now.
He had left me behind in the past, and in my dreams of what would have been. When we were still together, the whole school could see I was broken. All except him, my brother and her.
Now, before you get the wrong idea and think that I’m some crazy fan girl of his, I’m not.
At the beginning of my first year, I had talked to him and had actually been one of his friends.
But when he grew older, I hated what he had done to the whole school’s population of girls. He and my brother were known as play boys. And even though the girls knew what they did to other girls, they still wanted and hoped to be one of their flavors of the week.
The only reason why I began to fall for him wasn’t the way he talked, walked or looked. It was how he made me feel when I was around him.
I would have never got to feel the way I did if it was not for my brother and his stupid bet. They had betted each other that they could not make any one fall for them, just the bimbos that walked around school. So my brother had chosen me for the traitor, and he had chosen his crack pot cousin.
I hated the idea at first, but I had warmed up to it after a few weeks.
He and she had destroyed my life. They made me run away from my brother, the only person who truly cared about me, to a world I had never known. They made me start fresh, and made me hate them and myself even more.
Now, throughout my ranting, you had sat here and listened. But you’re probably questioning yourself. Who are they? The they are my brother: Sirius Black. The man I love James Potter and his wife, Lily Evans.
And I stand her today, and pour my feelings out to you. I loved James and I still do, and I have always hated the red head Evans.
How did this all start? Is that the question you want answered?
Well, I’ll answer it for you.
This whole story started with the sperm and the egg.
I’m just kidding.
It started with the surprise betrothed to Winifred Black (me) and Lucius Malfoy.
So, that;s what I wrote. You're probably sitting there thinking, what was that about? And I don't understand this.
But you should hear the whole story, from my point of view. So, sit back and relax while I tell you the story how James Potter opened my heart, then tore it up.
Author’s Note : So, what do you think? I think it’s pretty good so far. I started this story with how Winnie found out about her betrothal. But, I decided to put this one in front of it. I have the first three chapters (including this one) and half of the fourth one done, but you’ll just have to wait for them because I need to edit them. So, hope you like it.
I know that this is confusing, but I made it that way. You weren’t supposed to know who she loved and his wife until the end.
Oh, and the little snippets of a poem in here are from a poem titled Lies by me.
Please review, criticism is always welcome!
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