Chapter 5 : I Love My Mummy
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Disclaimer: Remus still ain’t mine. Life sucks, I know. Nothing belongs to me!
Father's hands are lined with guilt
For tearing us apart
Guess it turned out in the end
Just look at where we are
Made it out, still
got clothing on our backs
And now I scream about it
How it's so bad, it's so bad
The only time Remus could remember feeling any worse was the night not so long ago when he was bitten. He felt his father’s illness was his fault, but did he not, the father who had disowned him completely, deserve it? Maybe.
“Remy?” said Remus’s mother in a quiet tone, stroking Remus’s hair.
Remus did not say anything. He kept staring at his hands, wondering if his life could get any worse.
“Honey, I’m sorry it had to be like this.” Her voice was filled with all the pity Remus did not want.
“I’m fine, Mum. I don’t care if he dies, really,” muttered Remus, now focusing on the tiled floor.
“Remus, you shouldn’t talk like that. He’s your father....” Her words were soft, but they were harsh. To a third person, she would have seemed very kind when she spoke, but Remus could interpret her tone and emotions very well.
Remus could not promise he would not talk like that. The man his mother defended so, was the same man who had disowned his only son, calling him such things no six-year-old boy should ever hear his father call him.
“Yes, Mum,” he murmured. His voice was quiet, and his head still hung. He was not very sure what made him so disheartened, as he hated his father with every last bit of him.
“Remus, you shouldn’t feel bad about this. It’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s, it’s his. He shouldn’t have walked out on us. You couldn’t help you were bitten. He loves you, though, Remus, he really does. He just can’t show it.” Remus’s mother laid a hand on his shoulder, a gentle smile upon her weary face.
“He’s guilty,” said Remus in the same, small tone.
“I know,” said his mother, taking his small head in her arms and hugging him.
“No,” he said, “he’s feeling guilty. He wrote me and told me. But I still hate him.”
“He wrote you?”
Remus nodded, taking the sleeve of his robes and wiping his nose. The git he had for a father might feel a bit guilty, but it was not over him, and Remus knew it. If he missed anything it was sitting on his bum all day and forcing Remus to plow the field behind their house. Or maybe he missed Remus’s mother? Whatever it was, Remus was sure it was not him his father was missing.
“And he was guilty of leaving?”
“Something like that. He doesn’t miss me, though. He misses you, and I know it.” Once again, Remus found his nose running and his eyes burning.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this. You’re not ready…” said his mother, her sentence left unfinished.
“I love you, Mum. Not Dad. Dad left me, and I don’t like him anymore. He’ll be sorry he left one of these days…I know that.”
A/N: Review, review, review! PUULEEAASE! XD
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