The weirdest thing happened today. I kept trying to figure out the mystery of this box. It just has me obsessed. Every night after dinner I would go straight to my room just to check this box out. Not that anyone seemed to really care if I was gone or not. I mean I guess I should be grateful they want me to be in their lives at ALL. Now that I think about it, its almost agonizing thinking about all the pain I have caused everyone I come across. Maybe everyone would be a lot happier if I was never born. I have brought so much horror into even my closest friends lives. How can I do this to them??? But then I s’pose of course, if I wasn’t born the prophecy would never had happened. I often wonder if this is a bad thing. Maybe… It would’ve been a good thing? Maybe I just happened to be the boy who was awarded this horrible honor, as some may think. It really should’ve been someone else. I don’t even want to think about it anymore!!!!!! I mean is that what my life would ultimately come to? Either becoming a murderer, or being murdered and having Voldemort able to take over or whatever?? I just can’t stand to think about it!!! I WON’T!!! That is part of what has driven me to feel like such shit in the past days. I will not go back to feeling like that... no...
Ok, I’m sorry, so off subject, and it’s just… I don’t know, nothing seems right anymore. Sometimes I just want to curl up and die… I really do. So like I was saying (and excuse the tears I have dripped onto you’re pages) I have stumbled upon something very interesting today. I was looking through a book Hermione had given me for my birthday after she too came to Ron’s house. Anyway, it’s a book called “dark magical curses”. I s’pose she got it because of the… curse Voldemort had put on … that night. Well, I was flipping through some pages the other night, when I really didn’t feel like talking to anyone, and I found a curse they used to use in ancient Egypt to keep muggles from entering the wizard tombs. Anyway, one of the words seemed to jump out at me from the curse the dark wizards used. In the curse, one of the words they had to recite was “malum”. It said that the word meant evil. So what could the box’s phrase possibly mean then? And why was it in Egyptian? Most importantly I think, why in the hell did Sirius have it… and not tell me about it? Obviously this had some kind of meaning to it. Maybe Sirius left it for me to find out for him!!!! Oh, don’t worry Sirius I will find it for you!! I reckon I should ask Lupin about it, and I s’pose I will. Well I’m afraid I must go now, Mrs. Weasley is calling for dinner. To tell you the truth I’m not hungry. No, I just want to... NO, I need to find out what this box means. It almost as if it’s driving me insane, I can barely put I down! Oh… what should I do? Well, bye for now.
Harry
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