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Chapter 18 : Telling the Truth
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You were halfway back to the common room when you heard your name being called. Still crying, you stopped to let the owner of the voice catch up.
“What is it, James?” you asked, back still to him. He and Remus circled around to face you, and they were a little taken aback by the tears still falling freely.
“Well?” you didn’t feel like talking. You just wanted to go to your dorm and read, to escape into someone else’s problems.
“We were, ummm-“
“We just wanted to know if you’d like to help every month.” Remus finished.
“Yeah. We could use you.” James said.
“Sure.” You told them, and kept walking. James and Remus were apparently going to the common room as well, because they stayed with you. They looked at each other, and then at you, and then back again, trying to decide whether or not to ask you what was wrong. Thankfully, you reached the Fat Lady before they came to a decision. You gave the password and went up to your dorm immediately. Unfortunately, Lily and Nat were there.
“Oh my God, Kara!”
”Where were you?” You had forgotten that you hadn’t come back last night.
”Where was I last night, or just now?”
“Last night?” Lily tried.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“How about just now?” Nat prodded. You stayed silent for a minute.
“I’m not sure that matters either.” When you saw that your friends weren’t going to let you leave it at that, you decided to tell them what had happened this morning.
“I was in the Hospital Wing.”
“Why are you crying?” Lily was so blunt.
“Because I’m confused.”
“Let her tell her story, Lily!”
“Because I’m confused about Sirius. I don’t even know why I like him. He just hurts me.”
“What did he do this morning?” Natalie asked gently.
“He almost kissed me.” You admitted. Lily opened her mouth to say something, but was silenced by a look from Nat.
“He almost kissed you?”
“His girlfriend walked in.” Lily gasped.
“I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.” Nat said.
“Obviously.” Lily added. “That slimy, inconsiderate…” she proceeded to call Sirius names even worse that the ones she used for James. This made you feel a little better. Even so, you were angrier with Sirius then you’d ever been. How could he try to kiss you when he had a girlfriend? Especially a girlfriend you didn’t like in the first place. You decided you wouldn’t let it get to you. No guy was worth you being sad or depressed. Least of all Sirius Black.
You went to reach for your book on your nightstand. But it wasn’t there. You realized you must have left it in the common room. So you went down to get it.
The Marauders were there, talking quietly. They looked up when you appeared and were silent. You could feel Sirius’ eyes on you but you looked straight ahead as you picked your book up from a table and went back up to your dorm.
You went back to the common room, your hand as good as new. Now your heart was the only thing that felt like it had been smashed against a wall. You couldn’t even imagine how Kara must feel.
James, Remus, and Peter were waiting when you climbed through the portrait hole.
“What happened to Kara?” Peter asked. You told your friends the story, up until Kristin dragged you out of the Hospital Wing.
“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Padfoot.” James sounded injured.
“Don’t feel bad, Prongs. I didn’t either.”
“She must’ve asked me when I wasn’t listening.”
“Why weren’t you listening?”
“Because of the giggle?” Remus asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe she asked right before she kissed me the other day.”
“You don’t know this? What were you doing?”
“Thinking about Kara.” You admitted bitterly.
You slouched in your maroon armchair.
“So now you have a girlfriend, and Kara knows this and hates you?”
“Well, I think she broke up with me.”
“Yeah. She said we couldn’t see each other anymore. I think she said I didn’t listen to her, but I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.” Remus smiled at the irony. James continued the interrogation.
“Why weren’t you listening?”
“When?” He sighed.
“When she said you didn’t listen.” Remus was now trying hard not to laugh. You didn’t see what was so funny. You glared at him, and the smirk disappeared form his face. Almost.
“What?” you’d forgotten the question.
“I see why she broke up with you!” James threw up his hands. Nevertheless, he repeated the question.
“I was thinking about Kara.” You answered truthfully.
“I don’t get it.” James confessed.
“Don’t get what?”
“You two.” You obviously like her, and she liked you until about twenty minutes ago.”
“So why weren’t you going out?”
“She didn’t trust me after the Halloween dance.”
“But she must’ve forgiven you last month when she figured out about Remus.” He had a point. Kara was smart. She would have known that Halloween was a full moon.
“I guess so.”
“So-“ but James stopped abruptly as Kara descended the stairs. You willed her to look at you, but she didn’t. You would have called out to her, but you’d already had one broken bone today.
You buried your head in your hands. This was a mess.
A week had passed since you had spoken to Sirius. He didn’t try to talk to you, either. Classes began again today. And first thing was Ancient Runes with Sirius. Lucky you. It’s not like you were really trying not to talk to him, you just didn’t have anything to say. You were just glad you hadn’t kissed him.
You ate breakfast with Nat, Lily, and the Marauders, not really speaking. When you finished your meal you headed to your class alone. Sirius came in a few minutes later and sat next to you. It figured you had assigned seats. The professor came in and taught. You took notes. Sirius doodled on his parchment. You left the room immediately after class. Lunch was much the same as breakfast. You kept quiet and let the conversation go on around you.
Your afternoon class, transfiguration, was a little better. Although Sirius was in it, so were the rest of your friends. McGonagall did yell at you once for letting your cockroach, which you were supposed to be transfiguring into a teacup, walk away.
You didn’t even notice until it crawled up James’ neck, causing him to jump up, scream like a girl, and squish both your cockroach and his.
“Sorry,” you muttered as you both went up to McGonagall’s desk for new bugs.
“That’s alright. You just gave me a fright.”
“I could tell.” You both laughed. With a final smile, you both walked back to your desks. It was nice to know the rest of the Marauders, who you’d come to depend on as friends, weren’t going to stay away just because of Sirius.
Later that evening you posted a notice on the bulletin board. Quidditch practice would begin again the following night and go three days a week. Gryffindor had won its first match against Ravenclaw, but Slytherin was your next opponent.
You studied with Remus for a Care of Magical Creatures test you had on Wednesday morning. It was on identifying werewolves and treating their bites. Natalie didn’t understand why you’d asked Remus over Lily, who excelled in COMC.
You couldn’t answer without revealing things you shouldn’t, so you just shrugged.
But when the common room was almost empty, you asked Remus why he hadn’t told Natalie.
“So she can be scared and disgusted with me?”
“Remus, she really likes you.”
“As long as she doesn’t know what I am.”
“She knows who you are. Remus Lupin, 6th year Gryffindor, Prefect, sweet, caring, smart. Remus, she won’t care.”
“I don’t’ know, Kara.”
“Don’t you owe it to her? You are sleeping with her.” Remus turned red.
“Are you sure? I’d love to be able to tell her. But I don’t want to lose her. I love her.” You smiled.
“Unless we’re talking about a Natalie Martin that I don’t know, she wont’ care, Remie.”
“Ok.” Remus nodded. You studied side by side in silence for a few minutes before going up to bed.
The next morning, Nat got a letter at breakfast.
“Remus wants me to meet him in the Room of Requirement tonight.” Nat whispered.
“I wonder what he wants!” Lily mused. You were silent. You really hoped you were right about Remus telling Natalie. Your fears were abolished, however, during DADA. The professor led a discussion about the treatment of half breeds and part humans, including werewolves. Natalie raised her hand to contribute to the discussion. Remus was holding his breath.
“Werewolves and other part humans are different…” Remus slumped down in his seat. The professor was watching him, making sure he was ok to hear the rest of this.
“…but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat them equally. They should be judged on how they act all the time, not the one night a month they become something else. It’s not their fault.” Remus was sitting up again, looking radiant.
“Breathe, Remie.” You reminded him.
“Oh. Right. Thanks.”
“No problem. Good luck tonight.”
At 7 o’clock, Natalie left for the Room of Requirement. You gave her a small smile, and hoped she’d stand by the opinions she’d voiced in class.
You arrived at the Room of Requirement, and Remus was already waiting inside, in a small room with a fireplace. He looked so gorgeous with the flames’ light flickering on his face and in those amber eyes you loved to get lost in. He looked grave. You wondered what was wrong.
“Hey. Sit down.” You did, next to him.
“What is it?” He looked into your eyes. God, you loved him.
“Natalie, I don’t know how to tell you this, but- I’m a werewolf.” You thought he was joking. But you could tell he wasn’t.
“Oh.” You realized you didn’t care. You had meant what you said in DADA. And here was living proof. Smart, sweet, kind Remus was a werewolf. You realized that he was looking for a little more in the response department.
“Can you help me with my DADA essay?”
“You mean you don’t mind?”
“Mind? Remus, I love you. This doesn’t change anything.” You hugged him.
“I love you too, Natalie.” He kissed you softly. You deepened it, and you were soon on the floor of the cozy room, with your werewolf boyfriend…
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