oh...how sad..you had me on the verge of tears, but not quite over the edge. 8/10, i cant wait for more!Author's Response: Thanks! I must admit, I was sad myself, but not overly so as I knew from the beginning it'd have to happen. Report Review
wonderful once again. 7/10, i told you i have i high hopes, and i still do! keep up the good work
-alyAuthor's Response: Thanks! Report Review
another interesting chapter. i like this story very much. i'm quite glad that i decided to write it. i will continue on now. 6/10, but i have high expectations for this story
-alyAuthor's Response: Thanks, I do to. I hope not to disappoint either one of us. Report Review
it's an interesting beginning, and i look forward to reading the rest, so i'll go on.
-alyAuthor's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Heya you asked me for a eview but unfortunatly I had quit but now it's up and running again so here is your review. First of all I want to give you a big mwah for your second paragraph. It's very standy outy and catches the attention immediatly and so i was wondering if you could somehow make that your opening. The first paragraph however needs some work, it's a little confusing but all it needs is a little run through and a tweak every here and there.
I love your characters, the father, mother, uncle Alphard, evil aunt Lillith. they are all extremely wonderful and people i would love to write about. also a hug for not making them evil slave drivers who practice crucio on their kids and groom them to take over the world.
what you need to work on is a little description every now and then. Describe what the people look like, how does the house of black look like, how do their faces react when hearing something or saying something. Does someone have a habit of clearing their throat when they're nervous or do they blink rapidly, it's little details like this that will bulk up the story and make the characters more endearing and realistic.
I also love how you made the starting point of this story about something so trivial, which is bella's birth. i love beginnings like that. and i can see you have something up your sleeve to suprise us with and ruin the calm that is happening at the moment. a goos story, just a little bit of work needed, soldier on and you will achieve.
kerry. Reviewer Author's Response: Hm...I might go back and switch those paragraphs around and edit the first one a bit, now that you mention it it could use some work. Thank you for helping you, and also the compliment about characters! Really that touches me. I definitely need to work on my descriptions, I agree. I think I have problems with that in every story. Thanks for the review and encouragement! Report Review
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo write more! please! you can't just leave it on a cliffhanger like that! EVIL!!!Author's Response: I'll try to finish the next chapter soon! I promise! Report Review
omgoodness, that is so sad! good job aisu hoshino! write soon!*ADDI*Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
This is a great story! It's so realistic. Andromeda and Tonks are two of my favorite characters. Unfortunately, not many people write her or write her well. I'm glad that you decided to do this story. It's so realistic and heart-wrenching. I can't wait to read the next chapter. The plot is good, there are very few grammatical and spelling errors, which is very good. Overall, great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Part of the reason I chose to write Andromeda is the lack of fics for her, and she has so much potential. I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this fanfic. I have always been curious about the family of Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa and it was interesting to read a fanfiction about them. This is well written, though some places don't flow as well as others. Perhaps further proof reading would help to ensure that it flows nicely throughout. Overall, very nice work. Author's Response: Thanks! All of the Blacks fascinate me, especially Andromeda and Regulus. Thanks, and I'll try to work harder on that! Report Review
That was wonderful. Really wonderful. I liked seeing Andi's confusion and general frame of mind throughout the whole chapter; it was very fitting. You did well when it comes to the plot, mixing humor with sadness. I really liked this one and I cannot wait for the next chapter --will we see Ted?! lol :-) ~AnastasiaAuthor's Response: Thanks; I'm glad you think I handled her well! Unfortunately, Ted won't make his appearance for a few chapters yet, but when he does...
Anyway, thanks for the great review, Ana! Report Review
Wow! What a heart wrenching chapter that was! It seemed really short, but I'm not sure if it was a short chapter or if it was just so good that it flew by really fast. I loved the confusion that Andromeda felt throughout the entire thing. It was very fitting and realistic. I had to laugh at Bellatrix wanting to go outside during a time like this! I was surprised to see their father break down and cry, as well as surprised that he seemed so pleased about Narcissa. I thought that he wanted a boy? I might have to go back and reread the earlier chapters. I know you said you can't get a hold of your beta, but you might want to read it over yourself. I noticed a couple bigger mistakes, like words mixed up or left out. You could probably catch those on your own. I didnt notice any other problems though. Great job! I can't wait to see what happens next, since your AN says it was an important chapter. Something big must be coming! Please contact me again when the next one is up!Author's Response: Well, he also wanted a boy with Bella, but he became close to her. Although he wanted a boy, that doesn't mean he would be displeased with Narcissa for too long. Before I was born, my grandpa said he'd have little to do with me but we ended up being really close. That's all I can say on that subject without ruining anything, though. Thanks for the great review; I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Hey, ur story seems awsum, and the idea of a series is amazing! keep up ur writin, and i was just wondering, uhh, is Lilith and Scorpius the real names of sirius' parents,or did u just make them up? thnx, gj again,Author's Response: Thank you so much! I just made them up. Not long ago, JKR released the Black Family Tree, and Sirius' parents are really named Orion and Walberga (not certain on that, but it's something similar). I chose Scorpius and Lilith before this came out. Scorpius is a constellation and in Jewish folklore, Lilith was the first wife of Adam. Report Review
is the mom dieing?Author's Response: You'll have to wait and see *wink*! Report Review
I was wondering when Sirius would make his debut! Its very interesting to see the Black family so young through Andromeda's eyes. You did a very good job of conveying her feelings, I was actually feeling pretty lousy for her by the time Sirius was born. Good points you made about their father wanting a boy and being jealous that Scorpio had the first. Please let me know when you update, I was really enjoying this fic. Great jobAuthor's Response: I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job with her feelings - I was worried about that. I'll be sure to contact you, and thanks for the review. Report Review
You should have seen the look of comprehension on my face when I realized Scorpio and Lilith were Sirius' future parents! This chapter is also very good, I am really enjoying reading this. You have a real talent for writing. Author's Response: Yep, don'tcha feel sorry for him? Thanks! Report Review
Great start! Very well written and interesting to read! You kept my attention throughout the entire story and I love the idea of telling it through Andromeda's point of view, since we don't even know her. I'm going to go on to the next chapterAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much! Report Review
I loved the whole thing! I can't wait for Andi going to school! Some points of interest: a)''I don’t think she new the effect...''. It's knew, not new. Just pointing it out. b)Sirius Antares Black ...How did the middle name come to you?-it's weird! c)I loved the scene between Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Cool! d) Is your penname related to anything Japanese? It seems like that to me... e)''Uncle Alphard said that he bet me two galleons that the two of them would wind up married, or at least would date each other.'' haha! I loved this line!
Author's Response: Thanks! It will be at least five more chapters before Andi goes to Hogwarts, I'm afraid, but it will happen. Thanks for pointing the new/knew thing to me - I'll correct it when edit/delete stories comes back. Antares is a star (I think in the constellation Scorpius, but don't quote me on that part!) and I thought it fit with the other Black names (Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Regulus are all stars). I loved writing the Bella/Rodolphus part; it actually sets the stage for their relationship in the Bellatrix fic that will be the second part of this series. Aisu means "ice" in Japanese, and Hoshino means "of star(s)" - I'm an anime fan and wrote mainly in those fandoms before I came to HP. Thanks for reviewing this (especially for reviewing every chapter!) - I do love reading your reviews. Report Review
Nice chapter, the story seems a good read. Well done Lynn!Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Hello Lynn! Remember me? lol I became a member of HPFF.com the previous week, isn't it great? Now...my review! This story seems very promising. I find it interesting that you decided to write a fic on Andromeda Black, as she's not a popular character, but you seem to like ''obscure characters'', like Petunia in my absolutely favourite ''Despite my best efforts''. Great job on this chapter Lynn, I can't wait to read the next chapter! ps: I made you one of my favourite authors! lol It's true, I swear! I hope you had nice holidays!Author's Response: That's great, Ana (I hope you don't mind me calling you that?)! Be sure to let me know when you post something - I'd love to read it! I do like to write the less written characters - they have so much potential and less cliches. Thanks for the reviews, and adding me to our fave authors! Report Review
i loved it...again.rodolpheus is sirius's younger brother tho.and its kinda that two things dont have anything to do with each other in between each of the stars.but its still very good: )post soon plz.Author's Response: Actually, Regulus is Sirius' brother and Rodolphus is Bellatrix's husband. Well, I have to cover a lot of events in the earlier chapters (these) and so time passes quickly. All the events will be important in the fic/series though. Sorry if I didn't make sense! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
i really liked these two chapters.great idea,i think you should write more.you really got into the part of a 5 year old and i really love your writing style.i hope to see this fic finished,as well as the other ones!: )great idea about the series.keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked the idea(s) and the story! I'm glad I've captured a five-year-old - I feared i was making Andromeda seem to old! I plan on finishing the next chapter or two over the weekend, so an update should be in the near future. Report Review
This is really interesting, i can't wait to read the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks; hopefully it'll be up soon! Report Review
This is really good! I noticed you hardly had any reviews, and I actually really liked this story, so keep it up!
TwixAuthor's Response: Thanks! The lack of review is disappointing since this is my favorite fic to write and that I have written,. Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Very good. Andromeda at this young age of four is questioning of why anything unrelated to magic is unpure and repulsive. I wanna see her become friends with Bella. Will cause further aminosity in later chapters. And where's Narcissa, she MUST come in your story. Just continue it. Author's Response: Andromeda and Bella will be very close, but they will have their disagreements. Basically, they will be normal siblings. Narcissa is yet to be born, but she will come. Next Chapter will be up before Thanksgiving if nothing changes.
Thanks! Report Review
I really liked your summary, I know thats a weird thing to comment on, but its eye catching. I liked this so far, I think her worries over the baby are realistic, its going to be interesting to see how she reacts to the birth. I feel that Andromeda's attitude is off somewhat, but that I mean she seems very mature for her age, though its a little unclear how old she is exactly, I have assumed 17-18 based on her manner. I would defiantly like to see where you go with this. :)Author's Response: She's a bit more childlike in the next chapter, but I still may need to work on it some. She's four in this chapter. Thanks for complimenting the new summary and for reviewing. Report Review
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