Reading Reviews for Protector of Mankind
  
342 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dumbledore_wannabe Adjusting to New Scenery

7th December 2016:
I've just found this story and am already hooked, both on the story itself and your writing. Although I have to say, I'm still waiting to make an emotional connection with Lexi - well, that is, some emotion other than the annoyance that everyone else is feeling with her too. But then, I'm a Hufflepuff and as the hat already astutely noted, she would NOT do well with us! Looking forward to seeing where you go with this very interesting beginning!

Author's Response: Hello there, dumbledore_wannabe!

Thanks for dropping by and leaving a kind review. Truly appreciate it :D

Ah, Lexi... My brainchild and the bane of my existence in doing whatever she wants, though I tell her otherwise. Understandably, she's a hard character to connect to immediately, but there's good reason to her jagged exterior. I must ask you to exercise your patience to the max with her as she's a special emotionally-defunct little flower.

I hope you enjoy this journey with her as much as I enjoyed writing it.

- ichigo :D


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Review #2, by SilverMoonFairy Adjusting to New Scenery

17th September 2016:
*salute* BvB attack!

You know, I have no idea why I salute, it's just something that started. I think it's a Sailor Moon thing. Like how say has her superhero catch phrase, I have my super-review salute! But anyway!

Why is Lexi suspicious of a kindly old man like Dumbledore? (Honestly, given the revelations in DH, she is quite right to be suspicious!) Poor Lexi seems to be classically thrown into the thick of it all! (And in regards to your reply to my previous review... Do you have an Author Talk thread so I can ask you more in depth questions about Lexi's parents and their decision? Or are the answers further up and further in, as the Mouse would say?)

Wow, Ron. *insert foul, inappropriate name here* much? That seemed a bit unnecessary. Is Harry teaching him to be a *insert foul, inappropriate name here*?

I do not want to sound mean, because I'm not trying to be, but Lexi is a very unlikeable character at the moment. She seems hell bent on making enemies and her not caring sort of gives her an air of 'better-than-you.' It also seems unwise to immediately alienate yourself when you're in a new school/country/world. (I don't think she would have made a good Ravenclaw...)

OMG POV CHANGE! I suddenly totally ship Harry/Lexi despite knowing otherwise from Ouroboros. They can be called Hexi. See? It's adorable!

"Your routine of 'I'm p*d off at the world and don't give a f**k.'" Says the girl who is p*d off at the world and doesn't give a f**k... -.-' Lexi, Lexi, Lexi... Don't give advice you're not going to follow youself...

PFT DUDLEY D*BAG! XD I'm dying...

Hahahaha! Have you ever seen a show called Community? Lexi just totally reminded me of a character named Britta. She was always going on about how she knew stuff and she was experienced because she lived in New York! XD Also, I do not ship Dexi as hard as I ship Hexi, but I was down to watch her beat his a**. ^_^

Okay, okay, so, question... Sixth Year is the start of their N.E.W.T. schooling. You can't get into N.E.W.T. classes without passing O.W.L.s. So my question is, how do they decide what classes to put Lexi in? What about the extracurriculars like Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies? Did she get to pick any? I'm really sorry about all the questions, but I'm sort of an amatuer editor and these are the things I think about (especially because I've researched the Fith and Sixth Years extensively for my own projects). And seriously, do you have an author Q&A thread or can I just blow up your PM box with questions or...? o.O

Okay, so, there are quite a few technicals this time around. Sorry about that. Also, this is a super-long review! Sorry about that as well!

Technicals:
on with thet school rules
thet = the

she finally caught up.Everyone reached
Missing a space between sentences.

Each house has one.
Each house actually has six, with the exception of those houses who had members elected for Head (unless they weren't prefects to begin with, like James Potter I). Two members are selected in their Fifth Year and they remain prefects until they graduate, making two members in Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Year, making six per house.

Hermione enquired.
enquired = inquired (This one repeats a couple times.)

You say 'Pavrati' instead of 'Parvati.'

You use the word 'nonchalant' quite often.

It’s notmy fault they got
Missing space.

PS- Kudos to Lexi for pointing out the idiocy of generalizing! SO MUCH LOVE! And at least she is sort of making friends now? Is- is that what's going on here?

Lovely chapter!
-Liz

Author's Response: The BvB review salute's growing on me, actually. And I think the salute *should* actually be the Sailor Moon salute when she poses xD

I have just responded to your Author Talk questions up on HPFT. Honestly, I'm surprised you've taken such an interest in this horribly written story. It seems like no matter how many times I've revised it, it's still just the tip of the iceberg. But such is the life of a wannabe writer ^_^;

So interesting thing about Lexi: I think I subconsciously made her a bit of an anti-hero at first, like an "oh my God, I'm in this sucky situation, so I'm gonna take it out on everybody." But she gets better, I swear! Scout's honor on this.

The N.E.W.T. thing was something I never thought through since PoM was written way before JKR wrote HBP and such. But to answer it in the most probable way possible, Lexi was given an aptitude exam similar to the O.W.L.s to see if she could get into the N.E.W.T. classes.

And many thanks for pointing out the errors. I'm pretty sure it was from the massive re-editing process I did months ago. I guess you can call this her "making nice" with people she could call friends lol.

Many thanks for the review once more.
-ichigo



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Review #3, by SilverMoonFairy Ah, yes. I Remember Like It Was Yesterday...

12th September 2016:
*salute* BvB time!

Well, since your other story was a sequel, I figured I'd better come and check out the original. Definitely a strange opening. I wonder A) why her parents didn't want her going to school on time and B) how she got away with NOT going. The Ministry actually tracks the births of magical children. Audrey is lucky she didn't get in trouble with the education department for not sending Lexi to school!

Lexi is... Rather abrasive. I'm glad that seems to wear off eventually, as she did not seem that bad in Ouroboros. But I guess all teenagers are angry? Already off to a rocky start with the Golden Trio, I see, but then, Harry and Ron (mostly Harry) weren't exactly the nicest people and why should Lexi introduce herself? She was in the compartment first and they asked to join her. They should have given names first.

Ugh, that would be so embarrassing to be so old and be sorted with the eleven year olds! (Psshh, I'd still do it...) The back and forth with the hat was pretty cute.

All I can say for crit at the moment is if you ever go back through this story and edit, there are many instances where you seem to switch from past tense to present tense and it gets a bit disconcerting.

Also, when you described the Great Hall, you said that the banners were under the tables rather than above them. I would have copied and pasted like normal, but the page kept freezing on me for no good reason.

All in all, Lexi's story seems to be wrought with mystery, intrigue, and a rather bad attitude from Lexi herself, haha. I'm rather disappointed that the hat said Hufflepuff would be too boring for her! That's not very nice. Some of my best friends are Puffs!

Okay, okay, I'm done! I hope to catch you again so I can catch up to Ouroboros before it has 61 chapters of it's own! XD

-Liz

Author's Response: *salutes back* Hi hi, Liz! Sorry for the late response. I was on deadline at work and could barely human.

Even though PoM is 61 chapters long (I intended to end it at 55, but stuff just kept on getting longer and had to break it up), I think you can read about the last 5-6 chapters to get up to speed on story plot. If you wanna see character development then... I wish your eyes luck xD;

And lucky for you (and me), Ouroboros will only be 13 chapters long. I don't think I have it in me to do another novel right now.

*clears throat* Onto the review response! First of all, thank you for the CC. When you read something over so many times to revise, you lose sense of everything. Tense errors seem to be the bane of my existence right now, it seems ORZ.

Her parents didn't want her to go to school on time because they wanted to see what kind of abilities she'd develop first before taking the next step. I'm pretty sure Audrey pulled some strings to keep Lexi off of the birth record in case a worker there is undercover for Voldemort.

Lexi gradually gets better, I swear! ... Maybe >_>; Um... Anyway! A few good friends of mine are Puffs as well and I've been considering changing that line for the longest time (I should take this as a sign). In our heroine's case, even though she has the loyalty of a Puff, she can also be flighty when things get too much for her.

Thanks for showing some love to this story! Truly appreciate it :D
-ichigo


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Review #4, by Katie Epilogue: Journey’s End

12th August 2016:
Thank you, I just wanted to say it's been a long time since I've read a great story like this! I can't wait for the future stories!

Author's Response: Hi Katie!

Thank you for reading my humble little story. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I'm actually writing a sequel to "Protector of Mankind" right now titled "The Ouroboros." Feel free to give that a read when you can :D

And thanks for the R&R!
- ichigo


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Review #5, by HermyLuna2 Ah, yes. I Remember Like It Was Yesterday...

11th July 2016:
Hi Ichigopan, sorry for my late review. This is hilarious! When I read the beginning I thought “I like that Alexis Kanno character already”. I am interested in why her parents were sort of witches and wizards, and not normal ones. I also think her godmother is an interesting character. The humor in this story is something I don’t come across often so well done. I like that Alexis cares about her friends and doesn’t want them to be called Muggles. “Hell no! I have a life here!” was really funny. You described Alexis’ shock at being a witch very well. I also like that you paid attention to the culture shock. I like that she has a hawk for a pet and not an owl, for a change. Alexis seems like a real person because you gave her the flaws of anger issues and something like adhd/laziness and a sad past. Harry is really arrogant here already! I like Ron and Hermione more. I was glad that Lexi stood up for herself. The part with Hagrid and the other first years was really funny. It’s interesting how Lexi ticks all the Mary Sue boxes with being two magical creatures and all, but still she doesn’t read like one. Was that done deliberately? That she was sorted in Gryffindor was a real surprise. The last sentence could have pulled me out of the story since it’s the author’s voice talking, but it made me more curious instead. I’m going to read the rest too, I’m rather slow so sorry about that but this beginning was really interesting.

Author's Response: AHH! HermyLuna!! I miss you so much!

Thank you *so* much for taking the time out to write this for the 1st chapter to PoM! And you don't need to apologize at all! I'm just happy to hear from you, even if it's in review form *heart*

I originally made Mercury an owl/hawk hybrid, but the imagery in my head made it too freakish to exist, so I ended up settling on him being a hawk instead.

So with Lexi being a dual magical being was something I had planned from the start. However, I wanted her to be a different species (when this chapter was first published about 12 years ago, half veelas, faeries and elves were quite popular). Rather than letting her magical beings dictate the story, I focused on developing her personality instead to set the pace of the plot. So I may have deliberately make it read non-Mary Sue on a subconscious level.

I *really* wanted to sort Lexi into Ravenclaw because of her smart mouth xD I wanted to see how it'd be to have a 3rd house party wedged into the story as a protagonist. Sadly, my brain at the time was more focused on Gryffindor to progress the story plot I had.

And please, take your time reading this story. It's not going anywhere and it's 61 chapters long... Hope you're doing well on your side of the screen.

Thank you for R&R!
-ichigo


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Review #6, by Loreilei Epilogue: Journey’s End

16th June 2016:
Utterly fantastic is all I can say. Thank you

Author's Response: Hi Loreilei!

Thank *you* for reading!


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Review #7, by OifTanker1 Shades of Red and Green

20th January 2016:
Your story is really very good,enthralling even. If I could offer one criticism, it would be to clean up the grammar and sentence structure some. It's not terrible, just sometimes the sentences don't make sense. Can't wait to finish the story!

Author's Response: Hey OifTanker1! Thanks so much for reading my story and appreciate the constructive criticism. I need more of those in my life. Sentence structuring has been a weak spot of mine lately since I haven't written in a while. I have a tendency to write how I speak, which is not good in this case ^^; I hope I can finish the story sometime this year and I hope you'll keep reading PoM.

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Review #8, by Trogo Under Stars

8th May 2012:
Wow, just wow. I love this story so much, because you've developed Lexi and co. so thoroughly, it's amazing :o

Though there are a lot of complicated twists and turns, I know I'll love this fic to the end. Please keep updating, because it's brilliantly written. If only this story could alert me whenever you update...

Anyways, great job, hope you're still alive and well. I see that this hasn't been updated for a while, but I hope it would be =)

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind comments.

And yes, I'm still alive and well lol. Life has gotten super busy and I hit major writers' block. Hopefully, I can spare a bit more time to finish this story.


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Review #9, by sweetgrl1988 Under Stars

9th May 2009:
Ooh, lots of info from this one, and it seems like the good stuff's just about to come :) I like the way you gradually give bits and pieces of information that just keeps me wanting more
I really enjoy reading the dynamic you have among the "group." Great chapter!

Oh, btw, if you're female, you're a blonde, and if you're male, you're blond. Just an fyi :)

Author's Response: Wow, this has literally taken me 6 years to respond.

Thank you so much for your responses. I've read all of them. And thank you for the grammar correx. I'll be sure to use the correct one moving on when referring to Draco's blond hair.

I do apologize for the lack of updates on PoM though. Life happened and I dug myself a deep hole with the story plot. I hope to start updating it again within the next month or so.


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Review #10, by sweetgrl1988 To Each Their Own?

26th December 2008:
Lexi is such an interesting character. After knowing what she can do from the training sessions, it makes me wonder what approach she will use to teach them DADA. I'm sure it'll be entertaining to read, for sure. And I can't wait to see what happens with her, Draco, and Harry. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you, sweetgrl1988! As you'd expect, it'll be a mixed bag with Lexi's curriculum.

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Review #11, by sweetgrl1988 Weight of the Wand and Fist

7th May 2008:
Oh how I've missed this story! Great chapter, as always! And such an evil cliffhanger! Looking forward to the next update

Author's Response: I miss this story, too! I've updated a few new ones if you're still around here and reading ^_^

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Review #12, by sweetgrl1988 The Power Within

7th May 2008:
Another brilliant chapter! I dont think I've mentioned this before (though I have meant to), but I love the bits of Japanese culture that you've thrown in this story. It's so neat to see some of the things you've shown us, that some of us wouldn't be able to experience otherwise. And Lexi and the guitarist! LOL. Starstruck Lexi is too cute. It kind of seems like more than just a casual meeting, though, but that's just probably me. Off to read the next chapter now :)

Author's Response: I always appreciate your reviews, sweetgrl (even though I'm getting to them nearly 8 years later >_>;; ). I've tried to throw in a few cultural references here and there (with many hours of research), so I'm happy to hear you enjoy them. The guitarist part was my favorite part to write out of this chapter. I just imagined being in Lexi's shoes if I were to meet my favorite musicians.

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Review #13, by silver phoenix Weight of the Wand and Fist

20th April 2008:
GAAAH! NOO! I had this awesome long review for you and my internet decides to DIE and LOOSES IT! GRAH! *rips hair out* *slaps internet repeatedly* UGH...how RUDE. *cough* Anyway, this chapter was superb, and I don't think I've used that adjective yet, so ha! :D I feel bad for Hermione, she has to sit around and let Lexi go through with her Demon Magic, after Lexi kicked her arse. I'm amazed she lasted as long as she did, and actually fought physically. Never knew she had it in her. Lexi's done a good job teaching her ;] Hmm...since Lexi's not going back to school, I wonder how the story is going to progress from here, since Lexi obviously still has ties to people at Hogwarts and all. What's she going to do? Stay in Japan and finish her own training and...er...be happy about it? XD I'm glad the writing bug is back, I've really missed its side effects ;]

Author's Response: Thanks for leaving such a wonderful review and reading it! Oh that buggy internet, always ruining things at the best part. I actually miss writing this fic, tbh. I hope to update it with a new chapter within the next month or two.

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Review #14, by Feistyone The Power Within

9th April 2008:
I absolutely love your story!!! =) I Think it's well written and very discriptive. I love your style and creativity. Keep writing!!! =)

Author's Response: Thank you!

I will try my best to continue writing.


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Review #15, by hullo The Power Within

8th April 2008:
Aww! I'm hungry now! Update soon, though!

Author's Response: I'm determined to write a HP food-related one-shot one day, like Iron Chef style! Don't know if you're still around reading, but I've updated this story with a few new chapters.

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Review #16, by Aya The Power Within

7th April 2008:
I would like to begin by saying. YOUR STORY ROCKS! lol anyways, its one of the most original works I've read in a long time and is the exact type of my favorite kind of story. Sure, there are probably somethings I would have done differently had I been writing the story, but hey I'm just a critic and nothing can be flawlessly perfect. The imperfections in your story are what makes it such an exciting read and adds to the story plot making it a beautiful story. You have your own style of writing which I applaud you on for its ingenuity. All in all this is an absolutely wonderful story and there are people out there reading it. Keep up the good work! =]

Author's Response: *embarrassed*
Thank you for your compliments, Aya. I still feel there's a long way to go for me in making PoM a great story though. But I'll do my best to work on it for fans like you!


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Review #17, by silver phoenix The Power Within

5th April 2008:
*eagerly leaps about* I still read! Oh! Oh! I still do! *waves arms madly* Hehehe...but yes, I had wondered what happened to you. Congrats on graduating and on work! Hooray! :D It must be a wonderful feeling, no? The chapter was great. I love how Lexi's at least trying now to be more civil towards the others. I adored the scene at the festival. Seeing Lexi so starry-eyed and shy like that was so endearing. There IS a goofy, awkward teenage girl in there after all! :O Great work, dear! I really hope you continue, and shall wait until it comes!

Author's Response: I actually miss school. It's so much sheltered there.

I have the next chapter more or less planned in my head. It's just that I have to find the time to put it down lol. All I can say is it's going to be a confrontational chapter.


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Review #18, by sweetgrl1988 Mamoru

20th December 2007:
It's been a while since I've had a chance to read any fanfics. I even had to go back to the previous chapter to refresh my memory. Hopefully I won't fall back again.
Harry's still being a jerk...surprise, surprise. One day he'll learn. Let's just hope it won't have to be the hard way. "Lily" smacking him was absolutely hilarious. I'm excited to see what you do with this training!

Author's Response: Because I like torturing my characters, their training will be grueling and test them to their limits that's cruel and usual xDD

As always, thanks for reading, sweetgrl1988 :D


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Review #19, by lepetitraton Fight for the Soul

23rd October 2007:
“This time, your physical bodies will be in the Forest. This area is much denser than the one you went to last time so you don’t have to worry.”



shouldn't it be "this area is much less dense"? If it was denser then their bodies would be crushed.. right?

Author's Response: Yes. More or less ^_^ I apologize for the late reply. I had to go find the writing bug that bit me.

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Review #20, by hullo Mamoru

23rd October 2007:
wow! amazing story you've got here! update soon!

Author's Response: I will try my very best to, if you're still reading :D

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Review #21, by Nanami the Second Mamoru

14th August 2007:
well now that i'm done with this for now i will look into your friends stories :)
You think Lexi is really up to training them?? i mean...she has a hard time controlling her powers..
isn't it kind of risky for her to be using them already?

Author's Response: I quote this from "i, robot": That is the right question. We shall see how these little training sessions will go.

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Review #22, by Nanami the Second Henshin

14th August 2007:
Mercury is so sweet and smart :)
ok so far, harry, lexi and draco have had a bath scene..lol..
and good for Ron to stand up to harry like that.
and yeah, i have gotten far haven't I? what is there..one more chapter! haha it felt like forever..but don't feel bad..i can wait for an update :)

Author's Response: Someone had to stand up to Mr. Self righteous. Might as well be his best mate, right?

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Review #23, by Nanami the Second Kizuna

13th August 2007:
creepy lake spirit...

i had a feeling that person that came to her was Sigardo!!!

yeah that was pretty ridiculous that Lexi got all offensive when she saw her parents.. but i would be afraid to love too...it seems every person shes started to care for gets taken from her..who wouldn't react negatively?

Author's Response: You really sped read my story fast! I gotta get cracking and start writing again haha. As for the lake spirit... she'll play a bigger role later on in the story.

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Review #24, by Nanami the Second Threads of Life

13th August 2007:
i thought she missed them? guess not..
haha..

Author's Response: It's more of a "miss you, miss you not" kinda relationship.

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Review #25, by Nanami the Second What They Left Behind

13th August 2007:
Not sure what to say about this one..
Not very much wrong at all. The dryad reminded me of the willow tree from Pochanhantas (or however you spell that) ha ha.
The fight with Audrey was well deserved i think. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to people who are like your parents..
Especially for people who always view everything as their fault.

Author's Response: You know, I didn't think of the Willow hahah. I got the idea of the dryad after reading 'Chronicles of Narnia.' I think for every child, there comes a time where they end up being the parent to the ones who raised them.

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