she should have played hard to get. She gave in way too easily Report Review
“Ok,” she rights my order down on her pad, “and you?” she turns to Cedric.
“Ok,” she WRITES my order down on her pad, “and you?” she turns to Cedric. Report Review
it's CROWD not crowed Report Review
reaally love your story, I do, but "mine" as a possesive pronoun does not have a plural except for ours, but that means that it belongs to two people. So check, because you wrote mines, twice. Report Review
ok, so a little bit of more mistakes...
like: He's instead of HIS
and some errors with commas and question marks, there aren't any where there should be
and quiet when it should be QUITE.
and yea when it should be YEAH
And the repetition of the your=you're and then=than and their= they're mistakes
Try to change those or send them to someone to check the spelling first. It's the only fault I find in the story but it's kinda an important one Report Review
Be careful with spelling, sometimes you want to say your and you put you're and viceversa. And sometimes you write then when you need to write than. And also...
“Bell, how many time must I tell you to call me that?”
shouldn't it be...
“Bell, how many time must I tell you NOT to call me that?”?
and this “Oh okay then we’ll I guess it’s just the four of us eh?” should be“Oh, okay then. WELL, I guess it’s just the four of us eh?”
Aand... I don’t think that me getting into a fight would make me Grandfather happy. Should be... I don’t think that me getting into a fight would make MY Grandfather happy.
Eventhough in some English speaking countries the pronunciation changes, the writing does not, hence, even if the girl is Irish or Scottish, it should be MY instead of ME when it's a possesive adjective.
And be careful with their and they're. It's a wonderful story but when there are lots of spelling errors one gets a little bit discouraged to keep on reading.
Despite that, the story is actually captivating, so of course I'll continue reading it, just pay atention to those errors and a few more that are in the capter or ask someone else to read it before posting it. And sorry if it was too much my review, I'm an English teacher and I'll start with the English translator training this year (I'm Argentinian), so I'm used to checking for mistakes in letters or compositions that my studens write. Report Review
kinda felt like a filler but still want to read on Report Review
so willows pyschic? Gotta love Oliver/OC stories! this ones good so far cant wait to keep on reading Report Review
This is By Far one of My MOST FAVORITE stories on here.
your amazing!!! and a great writer(: Report Review
That's such a beautiful story, and yes, it probably could be even better with a bit of editing. It's still wonderful, don't get me wrong. Awesome! Report Review
oh wow, what a twist! :D great story, loved the ending. Report Review
This story is amazing, truely and honestly amazing. im writing this as im bawling my eyes out still cuz i cant stop crying i thought she was gone it scared me but i love this story! you were the first author i read from on here but it took me two years to read this and im glad i did Report Review
Pretty interesting end :)
I liked this story! Good job! Report Review
shit, that was amazing.
i absolutely loved it.
i never would've thought of something so amazing. Report Review
...Wow. Wow. Really big wow. Awww! That is so beautiful. That was just a great plot twist at the end. =D Aww. I loved this story and you've the brilliant mind of a true writer. Keep it up. Or at least, I hope you're still on this site - it's been pretty bleak since DH came out. Not that I blame them. I left it too. Some girl passed me up in the list of Top Ten Reviewers. I'm only number 6 now. Hahah. =] But yeah. Great job! Report Review
AGH! Why?! WHY! No. I was doing a jig around my room just now!! No. But they're so cute. And he was crying and they professed love for one another it was all so touching! And then. Stupid Seer-ness. Geez.. Report Review
OH! I really want an Oliver now! Ohh... So not fair. Haha. That was really cute. And Cedric's sweet enough to remember - I love that she forgot her own birthday. Hahaha. There are only two more chapters. How sad... = Report Review
Aw, they're insanely cute. I want an Oliver Wood! Aw. I really want a boyfriend now. Agh. Haha. At least he finally knows the truth and go Cedric! He's cute. Hehe. I wonder what's wrong with Willow? The poition should have worked but it's making it worse, sorta. Oh. That really sucks. Report Review
Valentine's Day sucks. Agh. Stupid boys. Agh. Agh. Agh. Now that I got that out - Who the heck was Ollie with?! Can I please jump into the story, whap (that's a cool word!) him upside the head, and quickly jump out? Please? And I have a weird feeling that whatever's going to happen next isn't going to be all that great. >_ Report Review
Aw. About her and Harry. They're so adorable in that best friend you consider them your family kind of way. I love it. The first part with Oliver - that just really sucks. I feel so bad for her. And I can't really be mad at Oliver. I mean, he's a bonehead but if he didn't love her I don't think he'd be this mad and stuff. Agh. And a bleeding nose does not sound good one bit. Report Review
Oops. That's so not good. NO! OLIVER. IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. Agh. He can't hear me, can he? And Willow has good reasons for wanting to repress the visions and I'm proud of her for making her mind. And Sirius is cute. Haha. Turning into a dog and chasing down Oliver like that. Tee hee. Report Review
Her dad's cute. And with Iris saying she should get rid of the visions, I would encourage it. But, at the same time, it's a great and terrible gift all in one. That's going to be a hard decision. Aw. And I hope Oliver's well... Poor boy... Report Review
For the first part of this chapter. That's so not good. Of couse Voldy has to find his way into her life. Stupid Jack@$$. Gosh. And the second half. Wow. I don't know what it is. But this story is way different from anything else I've read in a while. Especialy in the realm of fanfiction. But no worries, it's a good different. =D Report Review
Oh. Wow. That was a beautiful chapter. Hauntingly beautiful. It definitely makes stuff a lot more sense. But I have to say, it was kind of awkwardly placed - not much of fluidity between it and the other chapters. But Oh well. It helped so yeah. And her boggart. Well. That makes way more sense and I dunno. It kind of brings a cool new dynamic to the story know that her sister with a black rose was her boggart deal. Report Review
AW. He said those three little words. Bah. I hate those three little words. Sorry. Very bitter about love at the moment. Haha. Sirius is AWESOME. Gotta love any of the Marauders... Even Peter.. on some twisted level. Haha. And I do hope that Oliver and Willow will make up, they're just too cute! Hehe. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection