I really liked it. It was very heartfelt and descriptive... good job!
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you think so. =) Report Review
Hi. Me here. (o:
IT. I liked this. Very apropriate to label it something easier to handle. A small thing, but I really loved that part. It can be hard to handle death and the heaviness and finality of it, so I like his calling it, IT.
Paws - I like that. I think you probably meant for it to conincide with his Padfoot persona. But a nice detail. And I like the idea of the neighborhood reeking of death and betrayal. That's beautiful and I can't exactly say why. Perhaps because you've brought the senses - smell instead of just sight which is normal - in on the description and made the whole then even more real.
fast Emotions - I like that. I noticed all your capitalisation, I did. (o: But I like the idea of trying to outrun or escape the emotions but emotions are fast. I think it's really fitting, these thoughts for Sirius.
Misery and Anger mocking him... I like that. Love the capitasation, the.. embodiment? Personification? Brilliant. I can almost see them...
Ah, I admit I was a bit slow on the update when you mentioned Dead tackling him, but I got it. (o: Dead tackled him, Dead's names, Death Wounds. Brilliant really. I like how he can't say their names. And I like how he lists off the Remus Wounds, etc, but he must call them Death Wounds for James... It's so heavy and weight and emotion-packed yet this huge attempt to keep them at bay, to turn them into something less scary, less personal... I dunno, I liked it.
Misery tickling... Hrm, I dunno why but I really liked that.
Mm, I wish Lupin was lying there with him too, discussing or thinking or whatever would happen. Hm. A heavy piece here. I liked it, LaDorki. (o:Author's Response: My goodness, this piece feels so old now, to have you read it feels strange. =) After everything you said, you were all "I liked that." Hahaha, did you notice you were doing that? Anyway... I really don't know what else to say, just thanks for reading and the lovely review! Report Review
Wow, I loved the story. It seemed so realistic with all of Sirius' emotions. His actions were so realistic, they are just what Sirius would do in the novels. I love how Sirius was 'talking' to Moony and it was saddening how he was blaming James and Lily. I loved how he was so desperate to keep the Marauder's together. WELL DONE! Simply wonderfulAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I wrote this a long time ago, so to know people are still enjoying it is nice. I tried to keep the characteristics right. =) Report Review
Wow... wow... that piece of writing is just... just... I'm speechless, so I'll come back to this in a few minutes...
*a few minutes later*
Right, okay, I might be able to write something useful now :D The way that you captured Sirius' pain and grief at such a difficult time shows a true understanding and a lot of thought. His actions mimic those you would expect to see from the Sirius JKR shows us in the books.
The way in which all of his memories start flooding back, and he starts almost blaming James and Lily, these actions show how lost he is, how desperate he is to have the Marauders together again.
A brilliant piece of writing... You, as an author, have inspired me to attempt a fan fic myself, and I can only hope that maybe one of my fics will come close to being of the same quality as this.Author's Response: That is the best thing I've heard in a long time. I am SO happy that you're going to start writing fanfic. It's a great way to work on your skills and I can't tell you how flattered I am that my writing helped inspire you. Thank you so much for this great review. Best of luck with your writing, I'll be sure to check it out! Report Review
Wow.dies.I totally loved this one-shot. I really think that you understand the personality of Sirius. I don't know, but you should make a sequel. There where only a few mistakes, but other thanthat it was wonderful .
Author's Response: Thanks! I'd do a sequel, but I'm not sure what I'd write. It's great that you enjoyed it, though. Thanks! Report Review
very tearjerking and very very awesome....i liked how you portrayed the Emotions-- very creative and interesting--wonderful drscriptions-- it had an abrupt ending...but it makes sense
much luvAuthor's Response: Mm, I agree the ending is a bit abrupt, but I don't know... there just wasn't any more story to tell. Thanks, dear! Report Review
FABULOUS writing!!!!! I don't think I have ever read a story where an author panits a picture inside of my mind by only using a paper and pencil! It was SUPERB!!! I cannot express how well chosen your words were! You are a fantastic writer and should continue wrting. By just reading your original tale, you seem like an experienced wrtier who has posted more than just one story on this site!!!!!!!!!!!11Author's Response: Well, by now I've posted more than one story, this was just the first. =) I'm really glad you liked it and are so enthusiastic about it. Thanks so much. Report Review
Thats so sad. It's now that I understand how much James and Lily must've meant to Sirius. It was lovely.Author's Response: Thanks =) Report Review
Wow...that's sad...It's really, really, great...but sad.
Wonderful writing skills, great story.
It made me cry.
Love Xor_relyT AKA Tyler_Rox :-) 0Author's Response: Oh! I'm sorry for making you cry. But I'm also glad that it touched you. Thank you very much. =) Report Review
This is a glorious meltdown. Wow, he's so completely unhinged and raw and vicious, if Peter had been there he actually would have done all those things he'd threatened and then some. Wow. I love some of character details you've included, like how Sirius was never taught to deal with emotions, that's something that I can definitely see in his personality.His hurt was so palpable in this, in every syllable he spoke and every restless move, this truly was magnificent.Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm really happy you think so. I think Sirius and Harry are a lot similar in that they've never been taught how to deal with anger especially. Sirius was going to kill Peter, and until Harry learnt the truth, he was going to kill Sirius. Anyway, I'm a bit on a tangent here, so I'll shut up. Haha, thanks again. =) Report Review
I absolutely love this one. I loved the way you made Sirius, and I loved how you personified Pain, Anger, and Misery. This line: Sirius couldn’t help but deepen the frown plastered on his face. He could hear Misery and Anger mocking him, laughing with each other just behind him on the path, both having just opened fresh wounds. illustrates that very well. You did an amazing job with the characters and telling about the past. Very good job. Keep writing.Author's Response: Awww, thank you. I'm really pleased that you liked it, that's great to hear. =) Report Review
it was good i think you should write one in Remus perspecfive it might be inerstingAuthor's Response: Thanks. I kind of wrote Remus In Colour about his view on death (although not James and Lily's), so check that out if you want. =) Report Review
Very excellent! The whole "the Emotions" thing was very good. This is one of the only fics that has made me seriously connect to the character's pain. Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad it touched you. =) Report Review
Aww, I feel sad for Sirius. And then he dies fifteen years later... *sigh* Very good descriptions; I love how you get so in depth with the details. The pictures flows so easily into my head when you do so. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.Author's Response: I know, Padfoot just can't get a break, can he? Thanks so much, I appreciate your review. =) Report Review
Hooray! And now I've read all of your fics! :) How do you get the goooodddd betas? Anyway, I like how you capitalized 'Emotions'. Made it sound very cool. At first, in the summary, I was wondering if it was an odd mistake, but now I understand what it is. :)Author's Response: Haha, I was actually thinking about that when I wrote the summary. How do I get good betas? I ask for them. Getting Violet and Forsaken on this one was just a fluke though, I asked on the forums and they answered. =) Asking people you're friendly with doesn't hurt either. <3 Thanks for reviewing!Author's Response: I've just realized you've reviewing this story three times. Oh my. You must have forgotten, crazy girl. =P Report Review
That was an amazing story. I loved it so much. it was so sad and i was almost crying. your writting was great and that was probably one of the best one-shots i've read. :-)Author's Response: Aww, thanks. I'm so pleased that it touched you. =D Thanks for the review, I appreciate that you took the time to wrie it. Report Review
Good story! It was sad, but it fit with what the books say about the incident. Nice use of words (splinch)!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I appreciate it. =) Report Review
Aw that's so sad! It made me so close to crying. Also makes me mad at Pettigrew the jerk for making everyone believe Sirius was guilty!! Anyway, good one. Waaah now I gotta go get happy again. Oh well.Author's Response: I know, I was mad at Peter too by the time I finished it. Thanks for your review - sorry for bringing you down. =P Report Review
Hello it is me again! Extremely good I must say. I would come up with some constructive criticism but I can't think of any.Author's Response: Thank you, I appreciate it. Report Review
Now that i'm over the shock of reading such a beuatiful story maybe i'll comment, i've got no criticism for you, and i must be the most critical person on earth. Siriu's emotion's oh my god, such an orignal idea, he could hear them cakling, the intensity of his emotions, how he tried to run away from them, how he nerarly went crazy, i love everthing about this story. Hop[e you write another one ^_^Author's Response: Hah, two reviews. You should have just done one, you nutcake. =P Anyway, thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And it's great that you did so to the fullest. =D Report Review
WOW! (blink, blink) WOW againAuthor's Response: Er... Thanks? Report Review
Oh wow, LaDorki! This was wonderful and very well-written. I really like how you've portrayed Sirius and how angry he is at everyone and everything, all because he can't handle the grief just yet. And I loved the way you personalized his Emotions."They were so determined to make him miserable – he could almost hear them cackling, each and every one of them" was my favorite line -so beautiful and so true. And the different sorts of wounds he has... Really I can't tell you how brilliant that is. You really did a great job.Author's Response: Wow, yourself. =P Thank you very much, your review means so much to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. <3 Report Review
That was so emotional. I nearly cried myself as Sirius fought with the emotions he was feeling. Truely, one of the best Sirius fics I've read.Author's Response: Thank you very much for your words as well as the review! =D Report Review
*Takes deep breath* Wow. This was very intense. My favorite lines were "He sat down, alone, pulling his knees close to his chest. He listened to the wind ripping past his ears, blowing his uncut hair wildly around his face. Just beyond the wind, he heard the giggles of the Emotions coming back." This wasn't necessarily my favorite part, but it just captured the heart of the story - to me, at least. It showed how crazy Sirius was feeling. I would have liked to know what led Remus and Sirius to suspect each others as spies, and what sort of rumor Sirius had made up. A very strong and angry story - wonderfully written.Author's Response: I might've included the background story on the whole spy situation, but at the time I mentioned it in the fic I didn't think it would fit in very well. It mostly had to do a lot with the fact that Sirius' family were pureblood fanatics. The rumor he made up more or less put Remus at a fault as the spy, not himself. But anyway, thank you for the review! I really appreciate it. Report Review
Oh my. I don't know what to say....well, incredibly well-written, a great idea using 'Emotions' and your descriptive writing is just...wow. You've got Sirius' character perfect...and it was a really emotional fic........well, nothing else to comment on, but excellent job....and I love everything about it....that I can't even pick my favourite part, lol. Anyway, congrats on ur first fic, and an amazing one at that.Author's Response: Thanks. You're a sweetie. =D It was an emotional fic, wasn't it? I'm glad you think so, that's what i was aiming for. Thank you very much for your review! Oh, and it's not my first fic. Just my first posted fic. I throw out almost everything I write. Except this, obviously. =P Report Review
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