So i have read this whole story through from beginning to end and at first i REALLY liked your style of writing and was getting ready to enjoy your difference in style to others. My god was i depressed by the end of this and i know you warned of it so if it was your intention well done you succeeded but i also note that i found the last few chapter very repetitive and long winded and was a little sick of the word crimson by the end because it was used so many times. I've given you 7/10 because i enjoyed parts but i dont think it was my cup of tea by the end. Well done for trying something different though and i felt parts of what you said had really strong messages behind them . Report Review
Aw.im crying...it. was such a a good story! It was so sad...but. happy because she. Finnally got her peace Thank you. For. The. Story Report Review
Yes, it's me again. But, I just wanted to say, soon after I started reading this story once more I came across the song, "She Don't Want The World", by 3 Doors Down. That song remains me so much of this girl.
Also, I still can't believe this story was still here after so many years since the first time I found it... Report Review
Oh, my Russet. This story was one of the most powerful and saddest stories I have ever read. It really opened my eyes to several things and thoughts of this life. Throughout this story I felt the sorrow that was so well understood by you. I cried several times, letting my tears flow uncaringly. I found this story a few years ago, but I didn't want to read on, and know the end. Though, I already knew the end. Today, and yesterday I read this story all the way through. You are a brilliant writer. And to have written this at the age of only thirteen is mind-blowing. This story has so much in it, a lot hard to understand. Yet, there is understanding. I read in one of your reviews that you plan to make a book out of this. I say you should, and I hope you do. It will definitely will go on my bookshelf, not forgotten, but probably read a million times. I wish you luck, Miss Russet. Report Review
I'll quote one of your reviewers:
"OMG! THis was amazing! I cried like 12 times!"
12 times, indeed.
With the likes of you littering my beloved planet, I'm crying for the fate of mankind. I'm seriously considering hunting you down and shoving you up your mother's birth canal -- or maybe prompt your mother to dispose of you and bed a smarter man. My problems would be solved either way and humanity shall once again prevail. Report Review
Oh. My God.
I almost cried.
I fawned over it so much as I read.
Used so many quotes.
And now it's over.
And although I know it would completely change the story, I wish that there was a happy ending.
I hate you in the way that I admire you so much.
If that makes sense. I just can't put how good this story was in words. Report Review
awww.she got her ending after 16 long years and many beatings.only hours before she had a almost happy moment...with Draco.a story to be told not as a fairytale but a sad story of life love and death Report Review
hello my darling. long time no talk and i miss you so much. hope everything's going well and life isn't total hell anymore. we have to get together sometime soon. maybe go running or out to lunch (haha) or something. Anything to give us a break.
I'm actually rereading your story right now because we have to write a short story for our English class and I needed inspiration. Or a distraction from the stupid assignment (just kidding you know I love your stories)
Call me soon and let me know how everything is.
miss you...Author's Response: omfg
how the hell did you know i would check this??
i miss you too daring!!!!!!
well go running as soon as i can get the free day. next weekend maybe?? i miss you so much and need you back so badly Report Review
OMG! THis was amazing! I cried like 12 times! Report Review
Well, you definitely need a beta, there were so many small mistakes in this chapter. And I'm not completely sure that I like it yet...At times it is hard to follow. 6/10Author's Response: what's a beta? Report Review
Hmmm...an interesting and sad start...But fairly well-written all the same. Report Review
I read this story about 2 years ago, and I came back to read it. This story is so unbelievably beautiful, it's not fiction, it's poetry. The way you write is so original and un-like anything I've ever read before. I've never been much of a Draco fan, but this story changed my mind. I cannot express to you how beautiful and inspirational your story is. I doubt anyone could copy you, and your way of writing, cause I've never read anything like it. There isn't much dialogue, but it wasn't nescessary. I wish you would write more on here, but I assume your off to write orginal work, which I hope to read someday. Do you post on other fiction sites? For original work?
~LB Report Review
This was certainly not a story “for the faint of heart, nor the happy in spirit” You set out to tell a tale of “abuse and blood...telling of a shattered girl who learned to twist a heart of stone into one of warm gold” And you delivered.
However, it seems you wrote this with a sheer lack of understanding towards one very important human emotion, If not more. However, I’ll only discuss my opinion of one.
Love is dieing for someone, even if only to die with them. Whether it is your child a friend or a partner, you would die for them in the most hopeless of situations. This is why this story has angered me. In real life you hear stories of people risking their lives to save even perfect strangers. It is unbelievable to think that someone would stand by and watch someone close to them in any way, suffer or die, if there was even the slightest possibility of saving them. I myself would rather die than have to watch someone close to me suffer. To me it is basic human nature to die for the people you love, especially a friend or sibling who has so much life ahead to live. The death of a stranger you can recover from in time, but the death of someone you know, especially a death before their time, is something you never recover from. Even if trying to save someone you love, would probably result in your death and their death anyway, many people would still try, because, well, it’s human. To risk your life to end someone else’s suffering is human. Soldiers risk their lives in war in an attempt to end suffering and protect there loved ones back home.
*screams in anger* Ah! If you wanted a depressing ending, it would have been far more realistic for them both to have died. Him saving her, or her saving him, either way I would have had them both die for each other.
Author's Response: Love for them? Love for these two was a dream. It was a mirage. It didn't exist. You lose your faith in the world, in people. All they knew was the cold hatred of men. You place so much faith in the human people that you assume that when you fall in love with someone you'll die for them. But dying for someone you love in this story? It'd be laughable to them.
I see what youre saying and I understand completely what you're telling me. I honestly understand that concept of love. That feeling you get when you know that you'll risk your life to save someone. You'll die for them. That feeling of emptiness, that biting numb and stinng pain of losing them. The black hole of despair it creates, and that slicing pain straight through your heart when you wake up and they're no longer there. And how that feeling doesn't leave, takes so long to heal. It leaves such a scar you can feel people staring as they walk by. You remember it, it becomes part of you.
But I also understand being forced to stand by the wall. Watching. Falling into that pain. As you watch them die. Helpless.
She had no future. And the minute the boy stepped in, let himself and the french girl intervene; none of them would.
She died for draco. She stepped in when he needed her. But this boy grew up in a world helpless. Where you did what you were told and watched when told so. He was taught to bend even if his back were broken.
There is a time when it doesn't matter how much you love them. When you are forced to stand by and watch. Watch every second of their suffering and pain. When you are helpless. When dying for them won't matter. When giving up your own life won't save theirs.
Can you have no pity to that? Can you have no understanding of that pain? Of how much it hurts? Watching them die? Doing nothing. Can you have no pity to that? Don't you get it? It's stupid and idiotic, but its still love. She got her happy ending. Her last breath finally out of pain.
You say that isn't love, only because you've never had to do it before.
I hate to say it, but there's only so much you can do past the point of breaking. There's only so far you can fall and fight. When dying for them does nothing. Its pointless.
And there is no greater pain than that. Watching them die. Standing by and doing nothing. Not because I have a scewed vision of love and am an idiot (which I will admit to being, there being so many faults in this story its not funny). But she got her happy ending. If that isn't how you'd like it, all valor and glory and dying for each other, go back to your fairy tale. 'romeo and juliet' may have some ending you'd like. Or 'sleeping beauty'
But don't come back to this reality.
And hey, cut me some slack. I did only write this at age thirteen Report Review
You are an amazing writer. I'm assuming you aren't going to post anything anymore on this website, though I wish you could. You have sucha way with words (I know you've heard this many times before) and my heart, it just reaches out. I can relate. And the way you described the pain and the feelings just make it that much more real. It felt like you were reaching out to me, telling me exactly how I feel during such a difficult time. I really hope that one day you will publish a book or something because you have really touched me in a way I haven't been touched before on HPFF.
~LBAuthor's Response: jajaja, working on the book! i'm redoing this story, taking out the fanfictiony parts and making revisions to parts of the story, adding little tidbits and everything. maybe one day it'll hit the shelves, but for now i'm having trouble just making it sound sensible!
thanks for the support
-r.a.n. Report Review
awww.... i cried at the end! you have such a way with words! please post on this website again!Author's Response: I don't have anything left to post! Report Review
I have just started reading this story, and all i have to say is that you are an amazing writer and you have a lot of talent. This story is really good so far and i cant wait to read the rest of it! Author's Response: I hope the rest of the Story didn't dissapoint you! -r. Report Review
your story is incredible. there's just one thing i have to know. where did your inspiration for it come from. was it personal experience or a plot from an active imagination.Author's Response: both. (what more is there to say?) Report Review
wow i like your style of writting....its different from other stories i have read on this site.... i know from the beginning she would die but i always hoped that she would at least get a taste of freedom...although its a foolish hope... you should continue writting, you definately have talent :)Author's Response: its not a foolish hope. it was what we all hope for i guess. and i think in the end she did almost find her freedom. i mean heck; that last scene with draco sure was a taste of it i think. Report Review
It was wonderful, but why didn't you use quoations?Author's Response: just not used to writing stories with them Report Review
That was absolutely heart-wrenchingly beautiful. This story was so beautiful and so horribly real that you can't help but feel like you know her, can feel her pain, can feel her suffering, even though you can't. For one, I know the pain of not wanting to wake up in the morning, of crying myself to sleep, and just wishing that the day was already the quiet, lullful night. I know, and I remember. Vividly. But what I went through can not even begin to compare to what she and many others went through. What (I'm afraid to write), what you went through. How else would you know the secrets of suffering and how it feels to be torn apart and ripped apart, with no hope left in the world. This story really pierced me with its poignancy and its truthfulness. It painted this dark picture of the world, coloring it with all sorts of maligned shades of grey. (But not black. Black is death.) Yet, somehow the real world, taken as a whole, isn't so horrible, so unpenetrabingly horrible. But at times, it is. It is this dark magnet that swallows you up, sucks the life out of you, and spits you back for more. And, truly, Aida played her part wonderfully. Her answers were perfect, her thoughts, a web. In fact, all of your characters were unique, all of them special, all of them real. Each of them represented something completely and wholly sad and earthshaking. Each of them created that feeling of catharsis that the Greeks tried to give to their tragic heros. Aida is a tragic hero. She truly is a wonderful character.
I feel like I know you, but I don't. I feel like I somehow have delved into your innermost thoughts, and have had your secrets laid bare before me. But, like you said, there are many masks we all wear - none of us are an exception. And none of us can see the light, completely, from behind our covered faces. You truly have taught me and, I'm sure, all of your readers, some real and immediate lessons in your tale. Great job!
At one point in the story, I couldn't help but hate Draco for what he was unknowingly putting Aida through. He was so caught up in his own troubles that he bailed out with Nicole, and left Aida stranded, with no thoughts about her feelings or emotions. This was so reflective of how people sometimes see only themselves and their needs, how selfish they are, and how they can't see beyond them. There were so many truths and mysteries shrouded in your tale; every sentence was a work of art for the reader to discover. Your extended metaphors were brilliant and your style is so breath-takingly new and unique and fits the story wonderfully. Thank you for writing this story. I hope that whatever you do in life, that you will never forget writing. Perhaps, you will never write another fanfiction, but please, continue to write. Talents should not be wasted.
-DeltaAuthor's Response: Painted with a broken brush now faded with old use; in coldest shades of grey. yet in the silence of the stilling words, i tried to mask a crystal dawn of color. For in all pain there is a hope; and though through a shattered spirit and an endless hole of soulless eyes...even through that black and unforgetting pain of lightening, poker hot swelling and rush of blood, even in that there is something more. a peace. a hopelessness of tears has also a whisper of a thought that maybe one day there will be something different. There was once before that i recieved a review like yours. And i've read that girl's words over and over, by now you'd think i know them by heart. They touched me, and hit me hard in the chest like a brick. When i read hers i didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. but there was one thing i could do; and it is the same i shall do for you because i don't know how other to put it.
thank you. for everything. you say thanks to me when all i've done is type the words and spin the weaving. it takes words like your to make it something; and to give a blank page with scribbles on it a true meaning. thank you. you've done more with simple words than one could do with a thousand pages of script. remember me. remember aida. but also remember your own words. and the truth they spoke as well as my own riddles. Report Review
Wow, I cant believe it ended like that. I loved it! Good job!Author's Response: it did. thanks! Report Review
That is true beauty. In a way, it was a fairy tale ending; both because she finally found her peace and because it was not a happy story like the Brothers Grimm. I loved it, and I felt endless pity for that poor girl who deserved nothing of the sort. The story left me heartbroken. I feel pity for all of those poor unfortunate souls that are forced to suffer their ow private hells right here on Earth even though they are the kindest most generous of people. But they all find peace in the end, and that is all that matters.Author's Response: i suppose; i don't know how to say this...but be careful with your pity. for there are those that don't deserve it. and those that never asked for it. though in truth there are unfortunate souls who fight through flames; still they are fighters. and ask for no such pity. only a heart that sees them as they are, and a mind that will look through their eyes to realize a pain. Report Review
i came across this story yesterday..i finished reading the whole fic today...i donot have any words to describe your work..i dont think there is any word that could describe it...all i can say is Thank you for writing this story...i was captured by every word sentence paragraph..i think everybody should read your story..everybody...i cried so much..i mean i am speechless..it is truly a masterpiece...i am so glad that i came across your fic..this probably is one of the best fics i have ever read..and i am sure whoever reads your fic will agree with me..it is one of the best fic evr!!you should write a book or something..you are a GENIUS!i wish you could continue with the story...but every great thing must come to an end...i absolutely loved every single thing..and wouldnt change anything..nothing.. you are brillaint!! LOVED YOUR WORK!!I am now a huge fan of urs!!i will never forget this story! NEVER!! THANK YOU!!Author's Response: **speechless** all i can say is, thank you. it means the world to hear my work was appreciated. adiu Report Review
Such a beautiful story... I've been with it from the beginning at Quizilla to Fan Fiction. I love it so much. I showed it to my friends and they were so impressed with the descriptive and beautiful writing. Even my boyfriend agreed lol.
Author's Response: muchas gracias. wow; i didn't realize it would appeal to guys as well. lol, thanks. glad i didn't lose you as a reader after i switched sites. sorry the story had to end. Report Review
Again, I write to tell you how amazing your words are. They sing, a soft melody, like that of the girl. Yet it doesn't end. It is a tune so sombre yet heart-wrenching and terrifying at the same time.
I, myself am living in a fairytale to the outside world, but in my vision it is merely a nightmare. I care. I care for a person with a heart wrapped in black silk, and eyes of the most beautiful brown suede. The skin of pale water, tasting of the black words that the poetry and misshapen words are inked. A smell of dead roses and velvet memories. A dream lost in a reality that never is or never will be. Care.
It's the pain that keeps us doubled over, clutching our hearts and looking around at the blurred images around us.
It is the words that soothe and calm the nerves, but keep us at a distance from the stony line of insanity.
It is words like yours that keep the knowledge locked away in the same hearts.
I cannot tell you enough how much this story has opened my eyes, and although I am but 17, and far from knowing the mysteries of the world, this is truly an insight into the reality of the brave, corageous, and worthy.Author's Response: though my words are still yet only words, and for truth they are a lullaby. to bring either a fairy tale of darkened sleep; or a nightmare plaguing every thoughts. I wrote of dreams held at the fingertips, yet lost so slick as water; and of the pain that black roses hold in their shadows and thorns to draw deepest crimson. sometimes; they're not words you like to hear. but you, like so seldom few that read this story; have captured the very center of my words. i raise my hat to you; and forever thanks. Report Review
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