This was a very emotional piece, but it was very hard to read. I suggest that you try to space the paragraphs out a bit more, and to italicize the songfic lyrics. It makes it loads easier to read, trust me. :]
I loved the dialog and emotion you put into this one-shot, also how Hermione finally realizes she belongs with Draco in the end. I'm not a big fan of Dramiones, but this one is very good. I only wish there were more details.
But anyway, good job! 8.5/10.
~EstrellaAuthor's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm actually pleasantly surprised that you like it. If this wasn't my first ever fanfiction, I would have deleted it. =p But thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I will go back and edit this when I can. Thanks, estrella! ^_^ Report Review
I really don't like the Draco/Hermione pairing, but this one-shot was wonderful. I like the present tense, and how everything seems to be happening right then and there. It's sweet that she rethought her decision to break up with him, and they decided to stay together. Nice job!Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I’m always surprised when someone says they like this story. ^_^ But thank you nonetheless. Your review is really appreciated. Report Review
Awww.. so cute!! It's so cute.. It really touched me.. I was about to cry when they broke up.. Author's Response: Thank you! I’m really glad that you like it. ^_^ Report Review
I quite like this and it's nicely emotional. There are some grammar mistakes and I have to say I don't like how you say 'flashback', 'end of flashback'. If it's well written enough, italics or something like that should really suffice. It just makes it seem a little unprofessional which is a shame. I did really enjoy the story though and it was very sweet.Author's Response: Thank you! This was the first fanfiction I’ve ever written, and now I’m not too proud of it, but it’s nice to know that you could still find good things about it. ^_^ I will probably delete this story sooner or later, but thank you again for the review. Report Review
Hi pris, this is the first time i open this site. And you know?! This is the first story that i read. I think this story is good, not so bad like what you said.. Just keep trying and don't stop. Don't be afraid to tell all the peoples who you are.. And don't be shy..
- My First CommeNt - I'm apologize cause of my grammar.. I just can't think well now. =pAuthor's Response: Hi there! I’m glad you think it was good, but it still wasn’t the best that I’ve done. Thanks for the kind words too. I am shy by nature, but I’m just really sensitive about my writings. So I’m especially careful about who I’m telling. Thanks again! ^_^ Report Review
Hey Pris, good work you did there. I don't ship Dramione and this found it a lil' OOC, but I liked how you described their relationship. A little grammar mistakes here and there but otherwise, good work :)Author's Response: Thanks Tahi! You know this story was a mistake to write. =P I really don’t want anyone to read this now because it doesn’t reflect my writing at all, but I’m glad you found it good. ^_^ Thank you! Report Review
Wow, its really sweet. Some background information would have been nice and the grammar could be worked on, but the raw emotion you showed in this beautiful one shot nearly had me in tears. So for that, I commend you and add this to my favourites. Congrats :)Author's Response: Thank you so much, Shona! I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that you put it in your favourite. I was never too happy with this piece, so it was good to know you like it. Thanks again! *huggles* Report Review
awwwww .... i have to admit i am a sucker for this stuff! Good job
skinnycookAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
excellentAuthor's Response: Really? Thanks! Report Review
AWWWW! THAT'S SO CUTE!, AND GOODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!Author's Response: Really? Thanks! Report Review
Cute, short and sentimetal. Nice work. ~KatAuthor's Response: Thanks Kat! Report Review
short but sweet i realy like itAuthor's Response: Seriously? :p It’s my worst one, but I’m glad you enjoyed it. =D Report Review
Cute fic! I don't ship Dramione, but it's nicely done. You avoid explaining how they got together for the first time, and I think that's a good idea, because that part often gets very much OoC. On the minus side, your Draco is OoC. Sorry I have to tell you that - he's ok, but, well, OoC. I suppose he had to be, because it seems to be impossible to write a short Dramione fic and keep them both in character. You could only have avoided that by making the fic a lot longer. But hey - for a first fic it's good!I think the song fits your story really well; I was missing the credits for it, but I suppose I overlooked them...You've got a few typos: In the first paragraph, it has to be "still loves him". After the flashback it should be "avoids looking him in the eye", not "at him in the eye". The lyrics after that are "Too afraid to show", not "too show". Towards the end it should be "that I shouldn't worry" or "that I shouldn't be worried", but not "that I shouldn't be worry". Also, "they break apart" (last paragraph) and "she's right where she belongs". Just minor stuff, but I thought I'd tell you nonetheless. :) I know you're not actually working on this story any more, but maybe you're still editing?Author's Response: Haha, I know he’s very OOC. Back then I didn’t know any better. ^_^ The song ‘Stranded’ is by ‘Jennifer Paige. Thanks for pointing out my errors. Yeah, I’m still editing, but it’s kinda the last of my priority right now. Thanks for the review! Report Review
nice story! If you could make a banner for either Is It There that would be really great. I don't really know what I want it to look like but if you could put something like "Sometimes a best friend can turn into something more without any warning at all." that would be awsome. Author's Response: I’m finished with it and I’ll send it to you straight away. Hope you like it! Report Review
aint it fun to exercise that story-writing muscle of yours lol well keep it upAuthor's Response: Lol. This one is my first ever fanfic so it wasn’t good at all. I just don’t have the heart to delete it, even if I don’t like the story myself. :-P Report Review
it's not too good, becoz i think this is your 1st story, right? i know your writing skill is more than this now... good work!
-StrawberryluphHarry-Author's Response: I know it sucks, but I doesn't have the heart to delete it. Thanks for reviewing anyway! Report Review
I lovvveee youuu!!!!!!! *runs after her*Author's Response: Love you too! lol Report Review
hmm...well, i think the song fits the story well...i like that song...the pacing of your story is a bit too fast..i mean draco and hermione got together way to quickly, but then again this is fan fiction...well, i liked it....go on with this! ;-)Author's Response: Thanks. It isn't so good because I wrote it in a middle of the night. But thanks anyway Report Review
Cute! I, personally, am not a HG/DM shipper, but it was a nice read nonetheless!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad someone actually like it! Report Review
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