YAY! I love this piece.
Normally I really do try to steer clear of the Sirius and James pairing as I am such a strong believer in Lily and James throughout the books however I love how you just included it leaving a lot for the reader to denote from it. It was interesting to see about James's doubts from the wedding but with Sirius almost just being there for James to talk to which was really good to read!
It was interesting that you made them go to a place which seemed to mean a lot to them. More than just somewhere that they went when they were younger for the under aged drinking ect. It was almost like they were at a place where they can be themselves but I do wonder what else had happened at that place to make it so special to them.
James did make me laugh with all his doubts and saying that he's turning into his mum and dad. My mum has always refuted the title of 'Mrs .' as she said it reminds her too much of my nan! Sirius tries to comfort him as much as he could so I truly think you have done such a good job with this piece.
SHPFFO! Report Review
Oh my goodness. That was so good! I didn't expect that twist at the end. I've got to admit that I had tears in my eyes at the end. Great writing! Report Review
wow! this is rly good! great awsome job, and so sad Report Review
incredible writing, and i like the period of time that you chose. I love the poem at the end. Report Review
oh! So sad...I thought it was a lovely sweet, carefree (sort of) piece until the last few lines. So sad...I'm all thoughtful now...you made me think...hmmm...(don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one...) anway a good job well done. Thanks for the read.xx Report Review
OMG OMG OMG when i first started reading this i had to go back to your summary and see why this story was dark and then i saw the Genre i was like "is she kidding ... i would so say in my review to change her Genre" But then when i read that last bit it took me only two seconds for me to start crying. I'm not even kidding for one second.
I have never cried so much for only such a small bit but it was so heartbreaking, tear-jerking, tragic and so sad!!! Especially the line "he listlessly bangs his head against the wall, to see if he can still feel" made me bawl like a baby. Poor Sirius *sniffles a cries a bit more* i loved the emotions you portrayed in such a small bit [i mean the end] amazing story, still can't stop crying. I swear. I'm your official fan.
I have already added this story to my favorites. I'm not letting this go for a long time to come. I'm officially your fan *bows* Thanks so much for sharing i so wish i had read this before. Even if i give 100 zillion to this story it isn't enough to compare to the way it touched me. Thanks again.
~Amie Report Review
wow - that changed rapidly i was thinking why on earth is her banner so bloody dark and foreboding? you really got the mood to it to begin with and then it changed! it's really good!
Keep up the Great Work! Report Review
I loved this. You are an extremely talented writer and your characterisation is perfect. I particularly like your James...James is one of those characters I'm almost afraid to touch when I write in case I don't do him justice so I admire anyone who can write him as convincingly as you do.
I like how, despite the fact that we haven't seen much of him in canon except as an arrogant fifteen year-old, you've made open up to Sirius here, made him be nervous and confused and...young. Because he was. He was just a kid playing at an adult game really.
The dialogue between the two is very well-done, incredibly realistic.
And the first line is so simple, yet so powerful, there's something poetic about it. "The bride was laughing"
And the ending is beautiful, the way the memory sort of just slips away, entwining briefly with reality.
Thanks for the great read. Report Review
A lovely snapshot, very human. Report Review
ooh, i love this! its on my favourites! superb description and dialougue! now i know why everyone says you write James perfectly! you certainly do! 1000/10!
~Estrella Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm dead chuffed people actually say that about me...though I think you're all weird :P Report Review
Powerful...I don't know, this part right here:
"But he can’t see their faces, and the music is fading, the sound of James laughing is leaving his mind, replaced by a cacophony of screaming, crying, yelling. He isn’t sure who’s voice it is now, it might even be his own."
Just perfcet. It says it all with a few words.
Oh that beautiful, sad, but beautiful I loved that, it was so sad. The mood and setting was astounding. A truly wonderful heartwrenching peice of work. Good job dearie. Report Review
Sirius was GAY? 10/10
~Vera Report Review
That was amazing! OH MY GOD! I love Sirius all the time, but I especially loved him in this story. You understood the characters and how they would talk and act outside of Hogwarts. Job well done! :) Report Review
Overall, I really enjoyed this piece... I'm at a bit of a loss for words so I'll just sort of go through it.
I really like the opening line, by itself. It sets up the whole scene, and the later contrast wonderfully. The opening vignette was lovely, I liked the use of "bride", "groom" and "best man" that started off. It was still obvious who they were, but it gave the image a bit of a disconnected feel that fits with the ending. I wish that had been continued more strongly throughout, though I suppose that would get pretty redundant.
I think you've portrayed the connection nicely between Sirius and James: it fits them, it makes sense. I love their interaction, it's very comfortable and at ease, almost adult but still childish which fits perfectly. I do have to say I cringed when Sirius called James "lad"...that seemed out of place, out of character, out of style...but otherwise that whole thing was amazing.
My favorite lines were from to"...as they used to do as children..." to "‘Those days’ have become sacrosanct." (I thought it might be too much to put the whole thing here). They're very...World War I, for lack of a better term.
The transitions at the end are well done, they just seem to melt together nicely.
Overall I liked the style of the piece, the idea behind it, the language...everything. It was just very well done.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I had hoped to keep it all in those semi-detached descriptions, but when I tried it, I found it repetitive and confusing, so I just switched back to using their names. I explain it away as having Sirius actually become more involved in the memory as it continues, one last touch of his former joy before it's snatched away. But Sirius never associates himself with the memory, he doesn't recognise himself as the best man, but he remembers James and Lily until the end.
In all of my writing, it's pretty apparent that I adore the friendship between James and Sirius, I think it's the most important one in the book. They're such old friends who have really moulded each other's personalities, they knew each other when they were kids and I think that stayed with them until they each died.
The lad was supposed to be ironic, Sirius' little joke when they were talking about how he was an adult now. I suppose I;m a bit obsessed with that idea too -f such young people taking up a cause and enetring into such incredibly grown up situations like war and marriage.
And I understand exactly what you mean, I think I may have written this when we were doing Siegfriend Sassoon and Wilfred Owen in history class as World I poets, there must have been something about their longing for the innocence and peace of La Belle Epoque.
Thank you for reading and leaving such a wonderful review. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Report Review
i love it. such a cool viewpointAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review! Report Review
adorable! the best eva! please check out my story and review, only if you want to though.Author's Response: Thanks for your review! Report Review
"A generation of old children. Foot soldiers and cannon fodder. But they are boys, and in their time they were the stupidest and most reckless boys. It’s a badge of honour, a conceit that they are both proud of, even now." I just loved that part! Your characterization of the canon characters sounded good - very JK Rowling-ish. And the end... wow! JKR never showed us Sirius in his cell. Good job!
AnneAuthor's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I want to write more of seeing Sirius inhis cell becuse it's such a sad thing to even picture. Report Review
It was a very nice piece. I think you really captured James's nervousness about marriage during the war and just everything else about the characters. I think it could do with a proof-read, though, because there are some punctuation mistakes here and there. Other than that, it's perfect.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing and yeah, my grammar isn't exactly stellar, I do need to have someone read it over because I am consistently blind to my on mistakes. Report Review
Very nice transition at the end, moving the story along from past to present--very subtle. I like that.Author's Response: Thank you for your review! Report Review
It's great :) I laugh in the funny parts and i'm sad in the sad parts. When i was reading the last few lines, "Hurt" somehow came to my mind before reaching the lyrics :) Maybe because of "banging his head against the wall to see if he could still feel" or something like that. Anyway, i really love this one (i've read some of your other one-shots, even though i don't review) and it aroused some true emotions in me (consider that a compliment) :) (Excuse my english, by the way) in admiration, NihilAuthor's Response: That was intentional, I was very inspired by the song and kept calling back to it as it just screams 'Sirius' to me. Thanks for reviewing, I don't mind at all that you haven't reviewed before, I'm just glad you enjoyed them. Report Review
Oh I love it. It's just so... right!
"I’m somebody’s husband,” as if it were just occurring to him.
The best man shakes his head bemusedly, “Stunning observation, Prongs.”
“Lily,” James says gruffly, his voice as calm and casual as it can be considering he has an arm around his throat.
“Merlin,” James groans. “Mr and Mrs Potter. I’ve become my parents.”
It just fits so well with my image of Sirius and James. And then he's all alone, and the music fades, and he loved James and it's so sad. And James is all confused about his marriage and it's all just so perfect! ThankyouAuthor's Response: Thanks Silver! I think of all my one shots, I have a lot of love for this one if only because I got to write that wedding scene I'm so desperate to do and of course, my favourite friendship: Sirius and James. Thank you so much for your review and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
I don't really get the ending... how did he get in the cell?Author's Response: Author's Response: He was remembering the wedding from Azkaban as the Dementors sucked the memory from his head. Report Review
Wow. I really loved this. It almost made me cry, and it certainly made me smile, especially when they started wrestling. It makes me sad for Sirius. I apologize for the state of this review, I can't really think of anything to say, except that this is perfect and I love it. I wanted to let you knowAuthor's Response: Thanks Bibbs! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, as I've said many a time, I love the relationship that James and Sirius had, so I indulge in many little one shots trying to explore it. Report Review
Ohhhh... There's the Johnny Cash reference! Also, wow. Beautiful. Very gorgeous.Author's Response: Yes, I am obsessed with this song, you may or may not have picked this up...Thanks for your review! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection