Sorry to correct you but Sirius had convinced Lily and James to make Peter there secret keeper because he thought that Voldemort wouldn't go after him.
If you dissagree with me read the chapter where Harry finds out who really betraed his parents in the third book!!! Report Review
This chapter is better but you still need to add more descriptions. It has a definite flow to it now.Author's Response: first i would like to thank you for you reviews. second thank you for the compliment and the (always welcomed) advice on how to improve my writing. it means a great deal that people are willing to read not only the first (horrible- if you ask me) chapter but the secon as well. i hope to post again soon (maybe during the next week) and look forward to more advice
- BlairRose Report Review
If you added a bit more of descriptive text it would make the story more interesting, show their inner feelings and frustrations, their hand gestures, the things they see, etc. Otherwise its coming along fine. Report Review
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