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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Arwen_Undomiel_5 O.W.L.s

4th July 2005:
good chapter! Please update soon!

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Review #2, by Johny O.W.L.s

1st January 2005:
Wow...u hav left me dumbstruck. Write more soon...

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Review #3, by Bosco Harrington O.W.L.s

23rd October 2004:
I really liked your dialogue for Uncle Vernon in the beginning of the chapter. Your use of phrases like “freaky friends,” calling Harry “boy,” and threatening to put Harry back in the cupboard gave it a very realistic feel. Harry’s back talk seemed a little bit too coarse. Harry has never liked Uncle Vernon or any of the Durselys but he never seemed so rude before. Dudley seems to be on the same path of failure that he’s always been on and I like it that way. Though J.K. Rowling keeps her books generally G rated and would not include references to Dudley smoking cigarettes and getting drunk, I could very much see him being one of those types of people as you described it. Maybe I’m missing something but you said that Harry attended Hogwarts, “one of the best wizarding schools in Europe,” but as I recall, there is no other mention of wizarding schools in Rowling’s books. This would not be too hard to fix if you just took out that one sentence. In its place, maybe you could put in another sentence to show Hogwarts elite status, such as saying how many famous magicians had attended. For a little more clarification, I think it’d be nice if you just slipped a little bit of back story into this chapter. I found myself struggling to remember certain things (such as what an “E” stood for on the O.W.L.’s, and why Harry needed permission from Professor Lupin to leave his house).

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Review #4, by zoe O.W.L.s

23rd October 2004:
Awesome! I was sad when I got to the end because I was enjoying it so much. Hermione Evenstar rocks! Looking forward to your next fanfic so hurry up!

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