great chapter. ill read on Report Review
okay, since i have to come of the computor now, and i wanted to read this, i printed this chapter off. so i cant really give my opinion can i? im sure the chapter is great though. Report Review
WOW! I've never seen a chapter so short in my life! Report Review
thats some hold draco has on her
that was defiantly an interesting chapter Report Review
that was a nice chapter
i feel bad for hermione Report Review
oh man i feel so bad for hermione :(
that was an interesting chapter though Report Review
that was definatly well written
i really liked this chapter Report Review
oh harry really needs to get over cho face
nice chapter :D Report Review
i wonder what draco said to ginny
that was defiantly an interesting chapter
and why were ginny and harry so angry when they should be happy Report Review
i really liked the two views you had of draco and hermione
and i wonder why hermione didnt want to see ron Report Review
that was really well written Report Review
Great chapter, here are my notes:
1. I like the snapshot you had going during this chapter,although it might get a little annoying if you do it throughout the whole thing. A tip is to figure out when and where a snapshot would be benificial. By a snapshot I mean almost randomly going from scene to scene, instead of using transitions to show it. The problem with snapshots is that it sometimes makes you lose some of the details, as well as the focus on how much time has gone by.
2. Why did it take Hermione so long to go down? It seems like personality wise she would be the first one that would be ready, not the last. And Ron, oh Ron, you made him very perfect when you had him wanting to eat so much. Very nice.
3. The tension between Hermione and Ron was fun to read as well. I'm an awkward tension lover, is that a bad thing? xD Anyways, it was great, even when Ginny rushed into the scene.
4. It seemed like in the "fight" scene between Ron and Draco, Hermione was acting a little too overdramic. Even for her age, I don't think her personality would be so much yelling at Ron with the "I hate you" comments and such. Although that is just my opinion.
5. This line "
“Well, Weasel, I guess I should grant the mudblood’s wish,” " kind of confused me, but it seems like something you would explain later one. It's just, she didn't mamke a wish?
Well, anyways, great chapter again! Will keep reading until I can't read and need to sleep! Report Review
I love how you included the little beginning part, with the imaginary. It was a very nice way to start off the chapter!
Anyways, a few notes I made on the actual chapter:
1. I liked the conversation that you presented between Draco and his parents at the dinner table. It seemed very realistic, espicially when Draco's father pronounced Hermione's name wrong. The one thing is, I'm not sure canon wise wheither he would have corrected his father. But that's not a big deal or anything!
2. The idea of the ever watching mirror is very cool and original. I think it will definately add a plot twist to everything, and is kind of nerveracking if you think of it. Which is I guess the point of it! Still though, that would be scary!
3. Although I'm sure you didn't mean to do it that way or anything, but saying that you won't update until you get a certain amount of anything is a little rude. I know that you aren't specifially asking for reviews, but it still is a little pushy. I think you should write for yourself, not for a certain number of reads or reviews. That's just a bonus and a way to get feedback.
Anyways, the actually story is going great, and I like how you have presented the characters in it. Very nicely done!
Chloe Report Review
Well, from what I see it looks like a really good story, although honestly I wouldn't start up a story like this. It seems like, even with this first chapter, a lot of people wouldn't start reading this because you don't have a first chapter at all. Of course, I still am, so maybe it is the exact oppisite?
Is the third poem from the same author, or is that one of your creation? They are really pretty! My favorite like is "Who said the truth's going to save you?" It's just so great.
Well, feel free to contact me on the forums anytime as Random.Thoughts! Can't wait to read more!
Chloe Report Review
so cinderella like! I love it! Report Review
i have to say i haven't finished teh chapter yet...and i'm planning on it. its good so far, but i had to say i loved the harmony reference...=) Report Review
Whoa there! Wait up. You mean I wasted all this time reading what I thought (because you mentioned in the 'Pairing' category) that this would be a HG/DM ... but it will end HG/RW? You do disservice to your readers by misleading them. You should have added another HG/RW after the D/H- both for Ron Hermione shipppers who will NOT read your story thinking it ends with Draco/ Hermione and the die-hard DM/HG shippers like me who find any other ship unsatisfactory... even in cannon. I won't be finishing the story. No fair. Report Review
Your writing gets better as the chapters progress. Initially it was too OOC for me, Hermione would NOT wear a dress sent to her by a stranger... at least not without getting it checked for a million hexes. Ron would not hit Hermione. But if I ignore all that (as I have done), I find I enjoy this story more and more and look forward to getting to the next chapter with bated breath. I like your sentences structures, metaphors; you're playing with words and doing it well. Report Review
intiguing prologue. let's see what you have here. *grins and rubs hands together* Report Review
loved the story. Report Review
Wow. So... deep. I have but one problem. In the beginning, it says 'glass high windows' and i think it would be better if said 'high glass windows'. It's suggestion. Report Review
Love the entire Prologue!!! It's absolutely amazing and I simply cannot wait to read more. Report Review
Oh wow this story was amazing even though I found it very very confusing at times and hard too follow I still love it! I couldn't stop reading it for it just had me hooked LOVE IT Report Review
Im still hooked but bed beckons
Im loving this story even though I get confused at times
Wow! Its a shame I have to go to bed for this story has me totally hooked Report Review
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