This story is awesome so far, you are a great author, I give you my compliments. I want to know if I could "steal" some of your styles if writing for my first story that I just started writing?
hawkpeltpotterAuthor's Response: Like what? Report Review
Excellent and thanks for writing as I thought your story was well written and I liked how you wrote the characaters. Report Review
Awesome idea and thanks for writing as I enjoyed reading the story. Report Review
Great story!Lots of grammar mistakes,but at least it was understandable.I know you don't want to know that,but I am a grammar freak,sorry!Keep up the awesome stories! Report Review
aw poor harry i would hate to go through the constant pain Report Review
aww i love harry so much :) keep up your good work!!!~jameslovelily12 Report Review
that was a good story keep up your good work!!! Report Review
I SO KNEW IT HAHAHAHAHAHA SHE IS THE TRATER i so got that so. haha well good story Report Review
Good job! Kudos! Just a couple of little things:
Hermione JEAN Granger
Ronald BILIUS Weasley
then - opposite of now
than - comparison
to - direction
too - also
WELL DONE!Author's Response: Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry it took like 6 months to get back to you. I didn't mean to keep you waiting for my responses that long. Report Review
*sniff* The ring letter was beautiful. I got all misty. I thought it was fine of Harry to invite Remus to stay on. He's the last "family" he has left--the remaining tie to his parents. I kind of saw the "Key" ceremony coming and who would be inducted. It works, but could be dressed out a bit more.
I'd suggest a "wrap chap" so as not to rush your close. Otherwise, good job! Report Review
Filius Flitwick. Bill is the eldest Weasley son.
Careful...the text for the funeral service comes off as rushed. As a result, it's a little awkward bordering on trite. Based on prior experience with your work, I'm sure that was purely unintentional. I suggest that you go back to the point where Harry offs Voldemort and work forward. Take your time with it and see if you can't do a little more with the victory and then ease into the funeral.
Lifting the bodies out of the caskets and the later statement Minerva makes, "well, let's bury this casket with the others..." are unneccesary and really detract from the reverence you established. You may want to re-write the part about the "diagram" of the "V." It's awkward.
I like the apparitions around DD's casket--that's powerful stuff, but it needs more of the emotion that your usually weave into your work. That was a very personal and spiritual moment for Harry, who was so priveleged as to have a final communion with his loved ones. Leave DD's body in the casket and let it seal itself.
Still and all, though, you've done a fine job with this story.Author's Response: I'll go back and look at it. I'll see what I came do to change it without losing the ambiance of this chapter. Report Review
Just between you and me, I like this death of Dumbledore better (no offense, Jo). It's something befitting the great man he was. The passing of power from DD to Harry was almost like an ordination. It was beautiful.Author's Response: I wrote DD's death long before HBP came out. I had no idea at the time I was writing it that he would get killed in HBP. It seemed natural though that Harry would lose DD. He had already lost his parents and Sirius. Report Review
Why do I have a sneaking suspicion we'll be revisiting this particular scuffle? I shall read on... Report Review
I love the metphorical use of that nasty storm to herald the impending battle. This chapter contains the feelings of foreboding all the students and staff must feel, many of them knowing that their hours on this planet are numbered... It exudes apprehension. Good job! Report Review
My concern here and in a few previous chapters is your dates. You're eight years behind. Harry's class started at Hogwarts in September 1991, so Parvati's journal entries and the pictures should be dated 1995-1998, not 2003-2006. Parvati's journal entries are answering some questions, though. Good job!Author's Response: *Sigh* I did not know that the stories were taking place in the 90's. Had I known I would've changed the dates. I came into reading the series back when Goblet of Fire came out, so I had a lot of catching up to do. Report Review
This was so sweet. It just warmed my little cockles. Your love scenes are passionate and emotional, but tasteful and clean. That makes them all the more appealing. Nothing gratuitous or cheap. Well done! Report Review
It's amazing what defines a person and his/her relationships with others. You've done a fine job of illustrating what's really important at the "end of the day." Excellent!Author's Response: I liked writing this chapter to. Ron has never been a favorite character of mine by any means. So this was a challenge to write, and a triumph for me that it turned out as good as it did. Report Review
My first instinct said Parvati, but something I may have misread in the last chapter quashed that. Hmmm...I must go with my instincts. This is wonderful. Report Review
Okay, my Irish is up. I'm trying to guess who it is and I'm coming up empty. Dean? Seamus? I won't allow myself to believe it's Neville. Neville's just too loyal. Someone on the quidditch team? Very likely. Report Review
Harry has such a big heart, you'd think it'd burst. The little deal he made with Parvati---hmmm...that might be trouble. I did, however, like that Harry told Parvati that the deal was conditional upon Ginny's approval and compliance. And it wasn't too mushy either. It was very sweet. Report Review
Awww man! Outta time for Ron and Ginny to transform. Rats! I'm thoroughly enjoying this story--romance, humor, intrigue, adventure. You got it all! Good job! Report Review
Remembralls. Another means of communication. Can't have too many during wartime. I like intrigue. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.Author's Response: This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Report Review
*sniff* Good battle--I love the animagi thing. Kind of reminded me of the Bremen Town Musicians tale. Well done. Report Review
Adventure. Intrigue. I'm worried about Ginny. All the emotion and fury is in the text. GOOD JOB! Report Review
It's kind of hard to throw a the quaffle through the hoops when you're hit with a Cruciatus curse! Hey, at least it was O/T... Can't win 'em all. Report Review
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