{reviewid: 2548817, reviewer: 'felicity%20weasley'}
17th July 2011:
wow thats really good like j.k rowling good. write more ya'll are really good
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{reviewid: 2477249, reviewer: 'MaraudersRule96'}
8th February 2011:
Your story is quite good. :) I like it alot. Update soon!
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{reviewid: 1940997, reviewer: 'meerkatalex'}
3rd June 2008:
Hmmm... I am a bit apprehensive about this story for three reasons - it starts out pretty normal, it's quite short and there are a couple of spelling mistakes. On a brighter note, I love the summary for the story and the way you describe Harrys feelings when he's lost Sirius. 8/10!
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{reviewid: 1927685, reviewer: 'mischiefmanaged'}
20th May 2008:
I felt like the beginning could be stronger. Why not try a description of some sort instead of stating the facts right out in the first sentence? There are some capitalization errors, so you might want to fix that.
One of the things that you really have to fix (you can even get rejected in the validation queue for this) is your indenting. There's practically nothing until the end. I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but it's just really hard to read and now it resembles a break. Space things out a bit.
There are also some spelling and punctuation errors in this chapter as I read on. If you're using Microsoft Word to write this, you should use spelling and grammar check before you submit it to the validation queue.
Your plot and characterization needs a little work. But I think that if you really concentrate on what you're doing, this'll be a really good story.
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{reviewid: 1856726, reviewer: 'KATIE%20SMITH'}
7th March 2008:
I LOVE YOUR STORY. PLEASE WRITE MORE STORIES I ABSOLUTLY LOVE THEM!
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{reviewid: 1773058, reviewer: 'Luke%20Ruston'}
31st December 2007:
Needs work but still entertained me if it was a bit longer i would definatly feel the benefits because i wanted to find out what happened after i finished reading.
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{reviewid: 1684967, reviewer: 'Cilo'}
26th October 2007:
Your opening was mediocre. I think you can do alot better. Incorrect spelling. Sentence fragments, some sentences are jumbled up. This looks like it can be very interesting. I especially like how you pointed out the color of harry eyes when he becomes irritated. Try typing this in microsoft word.
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{reviewid: 1684966, reviewer: 'Cilo'}
26th October 2007:
Your opening was mediocre. I think you can do alot better. Incorrect spelling. Sentence fragments, some sentences are jumbled up. This looks like it can be very interesting. I especially like how you pointed out the color of harry eyes when he becomes irritated. Try typing this in microsoft word.
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{reviewid: 1624399, reviewer: 'karrie14'}
11th September 2007:
good
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{reviewid: 1624396, reviewer: 'karrie14'}
11th September 2007:
good
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{reviewid: 1467313, reviewer: 'Green_Tissue_Box'}
17th June 2007:
Nice Story
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{reviewid: 1467311, reviewer: 'Green_Tissue_Box'}
17th June 2007:
Nice story
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{reviewid: 1340136, reviewer: 'WilowTree'}
13th March 2007:
great. A exellent veiw on V.D. I guess he do's like to be in charge???
WilowTree
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{reviewid: 1067335, reviewer: 'sica'}
18th July 2006:
it was okay.
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{reviewid: 1067334, reviewer: 'sica'}
18th July 2006:
some of it needs editing cuz it is hard to understand what you are saying, but the story is pretty good.
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{reviewid: 1063318, reviewer: 'xwolfsbanexwerewolfx'}
15th July 2006:
Hey, very good. I'm very much liking this copy of the sixth book- just watch out for some spelling mistakes and It'll be great! Kudos!
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{reviewid: 1056607, reviewer: 'hjpobsessed'}
10th July 2006:
This is the best sixth year impression of Harry I've ever read! I'm so happy you didn't turn him into some monster who gets mad at every little thing! It really was an amazing read! He gets realistically upset at some points, but still managed to remain the Harry we all love! Congrads and keep it up, please! Im eagerly awaiting your next chapter!
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{reviewid: 1016173, reviewer: 'author%20of%20seven'}
9th June 2006:
Interesting, and I love your ending - it was nice and simple. I'm very fond of analyzing last lines. Please take into consideration the things I mentioned in my earlier review, and please update soon!
Hugs, Al
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{reviewid: 1016171, reviewer: 'author%20of%20seven'}
9th June 2006:
This was quite good! I reccomend hitting the 'enter' key twice between paragraphs, as that's easier on the reader. You might want to work on spelling, grammar, and punctuation a bit, although I understand that it's all a bunch of rules . . . I hate learning grammar! (although I get annoyed with myself if I don't use proper grammar). I can't wait for the next update!
Hugs, Al
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{reviewid: 1004893, reviewer: 'Sudha53'}
30th May 2006:
I like the way you describe everything so detailedly. it comes in handy for the reader.
Sudha53
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{reviewid: 975263, reviewer: 'juliadiggory92'}
1st May 2006:
I like it a lot! But I did have a little trouble reading it - maybe you could space it out just a bit ...
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{reviewid: 965684, reviewer: 'KathrynAmy13'}
21st April 2006:
Great! As good as the first one!Keep writing!
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{reviewid: 965682, reviewer: 'KathrynAmy13'}
21st April 2006:
I liked it. It was really good and I enjoyed it!
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{reviewid: 964594, reviewer: 'harryluver67'}
20th April 2006:
interesting story, keep writing it. I wish i could start writing!!!!!! I give you an 8 for so far.
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{reviewid: 886894, reviewer: 'Sparks'}
2nd February 2006:
Good story! The ending made me laugh. There are some grammer issues, but nothing that spell-check can't fix ;-)
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